[ It might be just a touch, a brushing of her hand against her skin, but to Alan, it feels like so much more. Jesse grounds him, pulls him from the waves when the tide comes in to take him away. Even now when she has more right than anyone to be drowning, she's still managing to bring him back. Is- Is this what inspiration feels like? Encouragement? She brings me back, and I try to bring her back? But she does it better than I do every time.
Still, even as that small thought of doubt enters his mind, he looks at her, eyes fixed on hers, because even if he's drifting, he knows where he wants to be: right there with her. For her. Encouraging her like she's done for him. How many times now? I don't know, but it's my turn now. It's my turn to walk into the fire or the shadows or whatever the hell it is to pull her out.
In his mind, he's back in the Well-Lit Room again, preparing to dive into the lake for the first time.
Except this time, it's not the lake he's diving into. It's into a hypothetical fight with anything that might put an end to what he's found with Jesse. There are forces out there much bigger than him, and whatever was going on with her (what did Samuels call it? Psychic trauma?), he knows now that he'd walk right into a fight with them with whatever ammunition he has if it meant keeping her with him. ]
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the FBC has strings to pull even here. [ He smirks, but it's an impressed one. Naturally, it makes sense that the agency would have connections, and maybe it shouldn't impress him at all, but it just does.
But then the pieces move again and Jesse's carefully loaded onto a stretcher and into a van, and Alan follows. Samuels and another field agent go with them to monitor Jesse on the way, giving Alan the opportunity to just sit back and watch. And watch he does. He can't reach for Jesse's hand, as she's temporarily out of his reach because of the available space in the van, but his fingers curl as if he's holding her hand anyway.
The motion of the van as it travels along the road is steady and even though Alan does his best to remain awake, keeping his gaze on what he can see of Jesse, he finds himself lightly dozing on the way to the motel. But once the van comes to a stop and Samuels sets to work seeing Jesse transported from the vehicle and into the motel, Alan snaps back to attention. He tries to stay out of the way while not moving too far in case his help is needed with anything, but Samuels has it under control.
They exchange a few more words before Samuels heads off in the van: instructions about what to watch for in case Jesse has any lingering issues following the traumatic event she's just gone through and things Alan can do if an emergency situation arises. Before he goes on his way, Samuels leaves his cell number and a burner cell phone so he can reach him if he needs to call for help.
He goes to check on Jesse one more time before departing, and satisfied that the Director is in as comfortable a position as possible for her recovery, he gives Alan a brief reminder of what to do and then heads off back to the van.
With the room quiet now and Jesse resting on the bed (hopefully asleep, if the way her chest rises and falls and the sound of her quiet breathing is any indication), Alan finds himself unsure what he should do now. After a moment, he decides to head to the bathroom and make use of the shower there. Maybe if he can rid himself of the dirt and blood and clean himself up a little bit, he'll feel better. He won't let himself take long, because he wants to be there to watch over Jesse like he said he would, but the idea of finally getting a real shower is too tempting for him to resist.
He sheds the clothes that have clearly seen better days, grateful that the field agents provided him with something else to wear that isn't bloodstained and covered in dirt. And then he steps into the shower and lets out a long sigh of relief as the warm water washes over him. But with the warmth of the water comes awareness of just how stiff and sore he is. Joints ache from constantly being on the move. His entire left side seems to burn with a sharp pain from where he was struck by the Taken, the skin already darkening to form a large-sized bruise that spreads well over his rib cage.
But he does his best to ignore it all, or at least compartmentalize it. A bruise, large or small, is nothing compared to what he imagines Jesse must have felt and is feeling. Caring for her is his focus, even as he takes this time to shower and clean himself off.
He's nearly finished showering when he registers a brush against his mind. It's not poking or prodding or incessant, not in the way that Saga's attempt to reach him was. It's gentle but enough that he notices it instantly.
Alan.
It's Jesse's voice, but with key differences. There's a resonance to it, and not just any one either: it's one he knows well by now. Or at least, he should. Drawn by the voice, he steps out of the bathroom, towel in hand to further dry his hair and wearing a pair of sweatpants that he was provided with. The matching shirt is still on the bathroom counter, Alan having forgotten to put it on when he felt that gentle brush that drew his attention.
He looks around the room once, and his gaze is instantly drawn to the redhead sitting up on the bed. A whole mess of feelings rise up inside Alan all at once: love and concern are the strongest, of course, but there is also an undercurrent of fear because of what happened and of how it could have gone so completely wrong if even one thing had been different.
The bad end. Something I refused to let happen. The horror story asserting itself?
And mingled with that is a chastisement, a disapproving lecture directed at himself for almost letting such a thing happen. Of course, none of that matters, not when the only thing- the only person who matters in this moment is sitting up on the bed. Alan crosses from the doorway to her side as quickly as he can, but he pauses before he can get too close.
Any residual energy might trigger it again. That's what Samuels said. What if I accidentally set something off? I don't know how I would, but I could do it by accident.
Alan wants to step in closer so he can take Jesse's hands in his, but he stands back from the bed, his worry plainer on his face than he would like. ]
Hey... sleepyhead. [ He knows his voice sounds worried too, but he can't help that. In hopes of reassuring himself and making her smile in return, he offers her the brightest smile he can manage. It's easy, even with his worry for her, because she makes him want to smile at her all the time, even in the middle of this story that has far too many dark turns. ]
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Still, even as that small thought of doubt enters his mind, he looks at her, eyes fixed on hers, because even if he's drifting, he knows where he wants to be: right there with her. For her. Encouraging her like she's done for him. How many times now? I don't know, but it's my turn now. It's my turn to walk into the fire or the shadows or whatever the hell it is to pull her out.
In his mind, he's back in the Well-Lit Room again, preparing to dive into the lake for the first time.
Except this time, it's not the lake he's diving into. It's into a hypothetical fight with anything that might put an end to what he's found with Jesse. There are forces out there much bigger than him, and whatever was going on with her (what did Samuels call it? Psychic trauma?), he knows now that he'd walk right into a fight with them with whatever ammunition he has if it meant keeping her with him. ]
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the FBC has strings to pull even here. [ He smirks, but it's an impressed one. Naturally, it makes sense that the agency would have connections, and maybe it shouldn't impress him at all, but it just does.
But then the pieces move again and Jesse's carefully loaded onto a stretcher and into a van, and Alan follows. Samuels and another field agent go with them to monitor Jesse on the way, giving Alan the opportunity to just sit back and watch. And watch he does. He can't reach for Jesse's hand, as she's temporarily out of his reach because of the available space in the van, but his fingers curl as if he's holding her hand anyway.
The motion of the van as it travels along the road is steady and even though Alan does his best to remain awake, keeping his gaze on what he can see of Jesse, he finds himself lightly dozing on the way to the motel. But once the van comes to a stop and Samuels sets to work seeing Jesse transported from the vehicle and into the motel, Alan snaps back to attention. He tries to stay out of the way while not moving too far in case his help is needed with anything, but Samuels has it under control.
They exchange a few more words before Samuels heads off in the van: instructions about what to watch for in case Jesse has any lingering issues following the traumatic event she's just gone through and things Alan can do if an emergency situation arises. Before he goes on his way, Samuels leaves his cell number and a burner cell phone so he can reach him if he needs to call for help.
He goes to check on Jesse one more time before departing, and satisfied that the Director is in as comfortable a position as possible for her recovery, he gives Alan a brief reminder of what to do and then heads off back to the van.
With the room quiet now and Jesse resting on the bed (hopefully asleep, if the way her chest rises and falls and the sound of her quiet breathing is any indication), Alan finds himself unsure what he should do now. After a moment, he decides to head to the bathroom and make use of the shower there. Maybe if he can rid himself of the dirt and blood and clean himself up a little bit, he'll feel better. He won't let himself take long, because he wants to be there to watch over Jesse like he said he would, but the idea of finally getting a real shower is too tempting for him to resist.
He sheds the clothes that have clearly seen better days, grateful that the field agents provided him with something else to wear that isn't bloodstained and covered in dirt. And then he steps into the shower and lets out a long sigh of relief as the warm water washes over him. But with the warmth of the water comes awareness of just how stiff and sore he is. Joints ache from constantly being on the move. His entire left side seems to burn with a sharp pain from where he was struck by the Taken, the skin already darkening to form a large-sized bruise that spreads well over his rib cage.
But he does his best to ignore it all, or at least compartmentalize it. A bruise, large or small, is nothing compared to what he imagines Jesse must have felt and is feeling. Caring for her is his focus, even as he takes this time to shower and clean himself off.
He's nearly finished showering when he registers a brush against his mind. It's not poking or prodding or incessant, not in the way that Saga's attempt to reach him was. It's gentle but enough that he notices it instantly.
Alan.
It's Jesse's voice, but with key differences. There's a resonance to it, and not just any one either: it's one he knows well by now. Or at least, he should. Drawn by the voice, he steps out of the bathroom, towel in hand to further dry his hair and wearing a pair of sweatpants that he was provided with. The matching shirt is still on the bathroom counter, Alan having forgotten to put it on when he felt that gentle brush that drew his attention.
He looks around the room once, and his gaze is instantly drawn to the redhead sitting up on the bed. A whole mess of feelings rise up inside Alan all at once: love and concern are the strongest, of course, but there is also an undercurrent of fear because of what happened and of how it could have gone so completely wrong if even one thing had been different.
The bad end. Something I refused to let happen. The horror story asserting itself?
And mingled with that is a chastisement, a disapproving lecture directed at himself for almost letting such a thing happen. Of course, none of that matters, not when the only thing- the only person who matters in this moment is sitting up on the bed. Alan crosses from the doorway to her side as quickly as he can, but he pauses before he can get too close.
Any residual energy might trigger it again. That's what Samuels said. What if I accidentally set something off? I don't know how I would, but I could do it by accident.
Alan wants to step in closer so he can take Jesse's hands in his, but he stands back from the bed, his worry plainer on his face than he would like. ]
Hey... sleepyhead. [ He knows his voice sounds worried too, but he can't help that. In hopes of reassuring himself and making her smile in return, he offers her the brightest smile he can manage. It's easy, even with his worry for her, because she makes him want to smile at her all the time, even in the middle of this story that has far too many dark turns. ]
How are you feeling?