[ Her mind may feel like it's scattered. It may feel like thinking is like wading through mud. But, the second she sees Alan lower his head? Her hand on his arm presses down. It's more like brushing along his skin at her current state, but, she's trying to communicate she's still there for him. No drifting off--no letting waves pull him away.
« Alan. Look at me. I'm going to be fine. I survived the Hiss, didn't I? » She thinks she says the words, but, maybe she didn't. It might be in her own mind--words she's trying to communicate through her eyes.
Jesse's gaze drifts as best as it can once Estevez speaks, then Samuels, then Estevez again. Alan speaks up and her eyes immediately move back to him. Her gaze softens at his tone. She's only heard that tone a few times in all of their shared time through these seemingly endless loops. Determined. Somehow, despite all the problems, all his self-loathing, and the fact he can be an asshole? Jesse finds that determination uniquely Alan. It's... not like a superhero's resolve. A normal man who is trying everything he has to do the right thing even when the world (and himself) fights him.
« That's him--the Alan Wake that I know. »
The man that defeated an alien presence, saved the world, and his wife...even if the core of it was a selfish motive. He did seemingly the impossible, and despite the scars it left him? He's still trying. Jesse can only really imagine what he was like during that battle, but she likes to think she sees glimpses of that man now and then. This time happens to be one of them.
« You know? I wish I had met him then. We--well, we wouldn't be like we are now. He probably wouldn't have looked twice at me. But, it would of been nice. I... it just would have been nice to know I wasn't the only person like me back then. »
Maybe some of that shines through her gaze when Alan looks back to her.
Estevez shakes her head at the pair,standing and pulling out her cellphone. ] Yeah. Let me make the call and pull some strings. We're pretty familiar with the family that runs it.
[ Samuels motions for Alan to move to the side. ] We'll need to get a stretcher so the Director is moved as little as possible. Mr. Alan Wake, right? Glad you're on our side, if you're really a parautalitarian. The wife is a big fan of the books...
[ The rest of the conversation and the next set of events seems more like a blur for Jesse. She's aware when they slide her onto the stretcher and then lift it to get in what she presumes is a van, but it's hard to keep track of it all as the steady pounding keeps up in her head. At some point she realizes her hand is no longer on Alan's arm, and part of her worries that he's going to not be him whenever they cross paths again.
The pounding continues even as she feels as if she's traveling. Then, through it, she feels that familiar gentle presence in her mind. She wouldn't describe it as hesitant, but it does feel as if Polaris is being careful about how to "speak" to her amplifier.
« Did I lose you for a second...? Sorry, it's always hard to hear you in the Astral Plane... even if the Board seemed more willing to work with you this time... are you okay? Why did you do that? You've NEVER acted like that before. I... just, next time, tell me what's wrong, okay? I can't do anything if you don't tell me what it is. So, what happened? »
Polaris shifts.
« Someone was trying to get in? I don't understand. I receive messages on the Hotline all the time. Even Alan sent them to me--you didn't mind when he did, and he was in the god damn Dark Place. What makes "trying to get in" different? »
Polaris shifts again.
« You mean someone was trying to enter my mind? See things that I keep locked up? Who could of done that? No one we know is... Agent Saga Anderson? How? She's not---oh, god. It was her? Why? Aren't we on the same side? Did she even know that's what she was doing? HOW did she do that? »
Waterfall.
That sound in particular gathers her attention for some reason. Jesse opens her eyes only to realize they had closed at some point. There is an unfamiliar ceiling above her, an unfamiliar bed, and room. She turns her head slowly to look around it. It's definitely a motel room, but not one from the Oceanview or one she knows. It doesn't even feel like the one she has the hazy memories of from another loop. The first loop.
She gingerly pushes herself up. A moment later she has her head in hands to try and regain her center of balance. She's in just the tank top and pants now, which means they must of gotten rid of the other clothing.
« Bloodstains. That's always a good sign. Let me make sure I have this right. Anderson did... something, trying to get in my head. You pushed her out--almost violently. That tripped off the Board, somehow? They threatened to take over to eliminate any threat. I wouldn't think Anderson is that powerful, so maybe it's something else... »
Polaris shimmers and Jesse's eyes focus on the bed beneath her.
« The story? How does that make any sense? We have to follow it to some degree anyways. All of us--even Alan. Why would Anderson doing that ... oh, shit. Is that what Alan meant by what he said? Something bad would have happened. Really bad. Oh, God.
Alan. Wait, where is he? Do you know? »
Jesse raises her head to look around the room, realizing her hair has come undone and falls around her head. She imagines it's another agent with her. Probably Steve. He hovers like a dad sometimes. He hands rest between her legs as she tries to get a better idea of her bearings. What motel room, where, when? How long has she been out? The sun is still up--so that means it hasn't been too long.
Polaris then reaches out. A gentle brush against the Writer's mind, in that familiar voice that sounds just a little like Jesse's, but really isn't.
no subject
« Alan. Look at me. I'm going to be fine. I survived the Hiss, didn't I? » She thinks she says the words, but, maybe she didn't. It might be in her own mind--words she's trying to communicate through her eyes.
Jesse's gaze drifts as best as it can once Estevez speaks, then Samuels, then Estevez again. Alan speaks up and her eyes immediately move back to him. Her gaze softens at his tone. She's only heard that tone a few times in all of their shared time through these seemingly endless loops. Determined. Somehow, despite all the problems, all his self-loathing, and the fact he can be an asshole? Jesse finds that determination uniquely Alan. It's... not like a superhero's resolve. A normal man who is trying everything he has to do the right thing even when the world (and himself) fights him.
« That's him--the Alan Wake that I know. »
The man that defeated an alien presence, saved the world, and his wife...even if the core of it was a selfish motive. He did seemingly the impossible, and despite the scars it left him? He's still trying. Jesse can only really imagine what he was like during that battle, but she likes to think she sees glimpses of that man now and then. This time happens to be one of them.
« You know? I wish I had met him then. We--well, we wouldn't be like we are now. He probably wouldn't have looked twice at me. But, it would of been nice. I... it just would have been nice to know I wasn't the only person like me back then. »
Maybe some of that shines through her gaze when Alan looks back to her.
Estevez shakes her head at the pair,standing and pulling out her cellphone. ] Yeah. Let me make the call and pull some strings. We're pretty familiar with the family that runs it.
[ Samuels motions for Alan to move to the side. ] We'll need to get a stretcher so the Director is moved as little as possible. Mr. Alan Wake, right? Glad you're on our side, if you're really a parautalitarian. The wife is a big fan of the books...
[ The rest of the conversation and the next set of events seems more like a blur for Jesse. She's aware when they slide her onto the stretcher and then lift it to get in what she presumes is a van, but it's hard to keep track of it all as the steady pounding keeps up in her head. At some point she realizes her hand is no longer on Alan's arm, and part of her worries that he's going to not be him whenever they cross paths again.
The pounding continues even as she feels as if she's traveling. Then, through it, she feels that familiar gentle presence in her mind. She wouldn't describe it as hesitant, but it does feel as if Polaris is being careful about how to "speak" to her amplifier.
« Did I lose you for a second...? Sorry, it's always hard to hear you in the Astral Plane... even if the Board seemed more willing to work with you this time... are you okay? Why did you do that? You've NEVER acted like that before. I... just, next time, tell me what's wrong, okay? I can't do anything if you don't tell me what it is. So, what happened? »
Polaris shifts.
« Someone was trying to get in? I don't understand. I receive messages on the Hotline all the time. Even Alan sent them to me--you didn't mind when he did, and he was in the god damn Dark Place. What makes "trying to get in" different? »
Polaris shifts again.
« You mean someone was trying to enter my mind? See things that I keep locked up? Who could of done that? No one we know is... Agent Saga Anderson? How? She's not---oh, god. It was her? Why? Aren't we on the same side? Did she even know that's what she was doing? HOW did she do that? »
Waterfall.
That sound in particular gathers her attention for some reason. Jesse opens her eyes only to realize they had closed at some point. There is an unfamiliar ceiling above her, an unfamiliar bed, and room. She turns her head slowly to look around it. It's definitely a motel room, but not one from the Oceanview or one she knows. It doesn't even feel like the one she has the hazy memories of from another loop. The first loop.
She gingerly pushes herself up. A moment later she has her head in hands to try and regain her center of balance. She's in just the tank top and pants now, which means they must of gotten rid of the other clothing.
« Bloodstains. That's always a good sign. Let me make sure I have this right. Anderson did... something, trying to get in my head. You pushed her out--almost violently. That tripped off the Board, somehow? They threatened to take over to eliminate any threat. I wouldn't think Anderson is that powerful, so maybe it's something else... »
Polaris shimmers and Jesse's eyes focus on the bed beneath her.
« The story? How does that make any sense? We have to follow it to some degree anyways. All of us--even Alan. Why would Anderson doing that ... oh, shit. Is that what Alan meant by what he said? Something bad would have happened. Really bad. Oh, God.
Alan. Wait, where is he? Do you know? »
Jesse raises her head to look around the room, realizing her hair has come undone and falls around her head. She imagines it's another agent with her. Probably Steve. He hovers like a dad sometimes. He hands rest between her legs as she tries to get a better idea of her bearings. What motel room, where, when? How long has she been out? The sun is still up--so that means it hasn't been too long.
Polaris then reaches out. A gentle brush against the Writer's mind, in that familiar voice that sounds just a little like Jesse's, but really isn't.
Alan. ]