[ As far as Jesse's concerned? He's home with her. Polaris. Steve. That means they can start rebuilding those walls. They can finally solve this AWE and move onto the next step--the one it feels they've both been waiting for. It feels like ages for her, but given the look in his eyes? It must have felt like years for him.
She is about to comment on their joking peach thread of conversation, but then he keeps speaking. Not even speaking--narrating. Like what he would say over the Hotline. It doesn't feel strange, as she's certain he has done this before. Narrated through himself to her. Last time... she was angry, hurt, heartbroken. That's not how this is.
Her eyes remain on the manuscript in her hands, but her whole attention is focused on what he is saying. Her expression only shifts slightly as he describes the room he "lives" in at the Dark Place. The manuscript that was finished but he didn't write. A small frown tugs on her face as her gaze moves over the scratched out parts of the manuscript.
« "Not doing that to her"? What happened? Was it... was it worse than what you told me happened the first time? »
It only matters in the scope that Alan felt it had to change. Not only because of their promise, but something more. She's not sure how she knows. Instincts, maybe. Something happened that she's certain he'd never describe.
« If he didn't write it ... who did? We will have to ask in the morning. I... I dont think he'd say anything right now. »
Jesse inhales sharply to try and pull herself together. Her hands still tremble underneath his. Them. It's not as impossible for her to believe. She fought the story and even Alan in her own way to keep what memories she could. Emotions if nothing else. Polaris helped and continues to help her. They may be constrained by the story, but she will never be trapped by it. She'll find a way by working within it to get what she wants.
Which is exactly what he has done, and the edits on the page prove it.
"An understanding", the manuscript page says.
She supposes it's one way to describe... well, them. A vague way of doing it, but, maybe that can give them enough leeway and control to make it work in the story. She likes to believe that by now she understands how Alan thinks.
She certainly knows his writing voice.
Jesse leans her cheek into his hand as he brushes the tears away. There's no debate or confusion in her mind that she loves him. It's why she had been trying to find him the moment they arrived in Bright Falls. It has to be different for him though. He has to live the story out without the knowledge has while writing it.
« And... we loop around to the beginning again somehow. Don't we? »
One hand finally lets go of the manuscript page to raise and rest against the hand now in her hair. The tactical gloves are fingerless, letting her feel the dirt, mud, blood all mixed on his fingers. She doesn't pull away or shy away. Why would she? It's Alan... she loves him. ]
Peachy. It is a nice-sounding word. [ Jesse smiles, despite the tears, bringing her eyes to meet his. ] Maybe I'm just peachy too after all.
[ Her fingers curl, the tips sliding between each of his knuckles in an odd way to hold his hand. The best way she can describe him at the moment is rediscovering them. She doesn't want to get in the middle of it. What if she does and it stops it from coming true? ]
Alan. [ She waits until his full attention is on her. Then, she leans forward once more into his space. Just enough to communicate her intentions. Anymore than that and he might jump out of his skin. ] ...thank you. For... this--[ she gently moves the manuscript in her hand back and forth, ]--for us. Again.
[ She blinks and another wave of tears rolls down her cheeks.
« He may never understand just how grateful I am. How much it means to me... how much I love him. Maybe he'll never really know. But, he still has to at least hear it. » ]
no subject
She is about to comment on their joking peach thread of conversation, but then he keeps speaking. Not even speaking--narrating. Like what he would say over the Hotline. It doesn't feel strange, as she's certain he has done this before. Narrated through himself to her. Last time... she was angry, hurt, heartbroken. That's not how this is.
Her eyes remain on the manuscript in her hands, but her whole attention is focused on what he is saying. Her expression only shifts slightly as he describes the room he "lives" in at the Dark Place. The manuscript that was finished but he didn't write. A small frown tugs on her face as her gaze moves over the scratched out parts of the manuscript.
« "Not doing that to her"? What happened? Was it... was it worse than what you told me happened the first time? »
It only matters in the scope that Alan felt it had to change. Not only because of their promise, but something more. She's not sure how she knows. Instincts, maybe. Something happened that she's certain he'd never describe.
« If he didn't write it ... who did? We will have to ask in the morning. I... I dont think he'd say anything right now. »
Jesse inhales sharply to try and pull herself together. Her hands still tremble underneath his. Them. It's not as impossible for her to believe. She fought the story and even Alan in her own way to keep what memories she could. Emotions if nothing else. Polaris helped and continues to help her. They may be constrained by the story, but she will never be trapped by it. She'll find a way by working within it to get what she wants.
Which is exactly what he has done, and the edits on the page prove it.
"An understanding", the manuscript page says.
She supposes it's one way to describe... well, them. A vague way of doing it, but, maybe that can give them enough leeway and control to make it work in the story. She likes to believe that by now she understands how Alan thinks.
She certainly knows his writing voice.
Jesse leans her cheek into his hand as he brushes the tears away. There's no debate or confusion in her mind that she loves him. It's why she had been trying to find him the moment they arrived in Bright Falls. It has to be different for him though. He has to live the story out without the knowledge has while writing it.
« And... we loop around to the beginning again somehow. Don't we? »
One hand finally lets go of the manuscript page to raise and rest against the hand now in her hair. The tactical gloves are fingerless, letting her feel the dirt, mud, blood all mixed on his fingers. She doesn't pull away or shy away. Why would she? It's Alan... she loves him. ]
Peachy. It is a nice-sounding word. [ Jesse smiles, despite the tears, bringing her eyes to meet his. ] Maybe I'm just peachy too after all.
[ Her fingers curl, the tips sliding between each of his knuckles in an odd way to hold his hand. The best way she can describe him at the moment is rediscovering them. She doesn't want to get in the middle of it. What if she does and it stops it from coming true? ]
Alan. [ She waits until his full attention is on her. Then, she leans forward once more into his space. Just enough to communicate her intentions. Anymore than that and he might jump out of his skin. ] ...thank you. For... this--[ she gently moves the manuscript in her hand back and forth, ]--for us. Again.
[ She blinks and another wave of tears rolls down her cheeks.
« He may never understand just how grateful I am. How much it means to me... how much I love him. Maybe he'll never really know. But, he still has to at least hear it. » ]