[ "There won't be a Deerfest this year." "It's my fault. His fault." "You'll all be in danger."
The more he speaks, the more notes she makes in her mind. Maybe she would have asked what he meant at one point. Except he's jumping at every sound in the darkened cells, and his knuckles are turning white at every jab the brothers are sending at him. The little details haven't escaped her notice. She may not be a novelist or a writer, but she knows Alan. At least well enough to see the little details coming out about his behavior. She can tell when he's being washed away, when something truly frightens him, and when he's just being an asshole.
Right now it seems he's left frightened behind a few days ago.
She wouldn't call it having a plan. Can she have more than what the architecture of the AWE gives her? Jesse feels she has something vague like a plan. Things she has put together over all the memories she's managed to maintain this time around. Things she's learned through Alan's trial and error, and things through her multiple failed attempts to reach him in the Dark Place.
« If anything? We'll have a base of operations. It's not full proof. We'd need more power... more light... but I guess we can provide the power if needed. We probably will. Would you be willing to do that? »
Polaris shifts.
« I thought you'd say that. »
The handcuffs are made of black rock. The idea is to trap a parautalitarian's powers. Jesse knows his doesn't work like that, but no one else does, so it was a move entirely of comfort for them. If she had the option? She would have walked him out of the cell blocks holding his hand. They don't have that luxury when everyone knows that Alan caused the AWE in 2010 and has most likely caused the one they're all living through at the moment. Regardless, that's why she had checked his wrists. She wanted to make sure the cuffs hadn't damaged or hurt him in any way. ]
Has it--I mean. I guess. [ Jesse shakes her head lightly. He would know better than her. Dreams and the in between loops all blends together for her. Though, given he's the one writing the story? He'd be the one to know how long it's been.
Her gaze drops only to follow his fingers pinching the flannel between them. She knows that habit. He's trying to keep from losing it. Maybe because of the dark cell, or the fact he's been through only God knows what in the forest. Even the brothers got under his skin. Maybe it's all of it.
« What has this loop been like for him? We usually cross paths much sooner. Almost at the start of it all. So, why was it so late this time? Did he figure something out? I'd ask, but... he doesn't seem to remember everything here in our reality like he does in the Motel. That's part of the story though. He can't know where it's going while he's in it. Just like everyone else. »
She pauses.
« Did he worry about not finding us sooner? Or, is it just me? »
His question snaps her from her thoughts with Polaris. She sits up right, eyebrows coming together, looking at him as if he's proposed the silliest idea she's ever heard. ]
What? No. [ She shakes her head lightly, causing the loose hair to bounce off her cheeks. ] I lost count of how many times we have--but, no. No. I wasn't going to at all. Why? I already know the answers you gave me countless times.
[ Jesse hesitates for a moment. ] I...
[ « How can I say it without sounding ridiculous? More than I already am around him. »
She looks to the side and frowns to herself. ] I was--I thought that...
[ « I really do sound ridiculous. Maybe I shouldn't have worried at all. It wasn't just worry. I was scared that I lost him this time. Again. Have I? What if he doesn't remember what I do? Or, not enough for it to matter. He promised though. He said he'd write it... »
Jesse frowns more before bundling everything inside her and forcing herself to look back at him. She wants to talk like they did before, be side by side, be with him. ]
I just wanted to talk. [ « Like we have. » ] Not the interviewing kind. Like, how we...
[ She shakes her head again at herself, it's not important. Her eyes stay downwards. Jesse rarely let's herself be vulnerable. Anytime she senses that it might have been wrong to do so? Those walls slowly start to come back up in self-defense, and it's obvious in how her posture goes rigid and the look in her eyes. Of course, Alan knows all those small details. How much he can pick up on them with his current condition is another thing.
no subject
The more he speaks, the more notes she makes in her mind. Maybe she would have asked what he meant at one point. Except he's jumping at every sound in the darkened cells, and his knuckles are turning white at every jab the brothers are sending at him. The little details haven't escaped her notice. She may not be a novelist or a writer, but she knows Alan. At least well enough to see the little details coming out about his behavior. She can tell when he's being washed away, when something truly frightens him, and when he's just being an asshole.
Right now it seems he's left frightened behind a few days ago.
She wouldn't call it having a plan. Can she have more than what the architecture of the AWE gives her? Jesse feels she has something vague like a plan. Things she has put together over all the memories she's managed to maintain this time around. Things she's learned through Alan's trial and error, and things through her multiple failed attempts to reach him in the Dark Place.
« If anything? We'll have a base of operations. It's not full proof. We'd need more power... more light... but I guess we can provide the power if needed. We probably will. Would you be willing to do that? »
Polaris shifts.
« I thought you'd say that. »
The handcuffs are made of black rock. The idea is to trap a parautalitarian's powers. Jesse knows his doesn't work like that, but no one else does, so it was a move entirely of comfort for them. If she had the option? She would have walked him out of the cell blocks holding his hand. They don't have that luxury when everyone knows that Alan caused the AWE in 2010 and has most likely caused the one they're all living through at the moment. Regardless, that's why she had checked his wrists. She wanted to make sure the cuffs hadn't damaged or hurt him in any way. ]
Has it--I mean. I guess. [ Jesse shakes her head lightly. He would know better than her. Dreams and the in between loops all blends together for her. Though, given he's the one writing the story? He'd be the one to know how long it's been.
Her gaze drops only to follow his fingers pinching the flannel between them. She knows that habit. He's trying to keep from losing it. Maybe because of the dark cell, or the fact he's been through only God knows what in the forest. Even the brothers got under his skin. Maybe it's all of it.
« What has this loop been like for him? We usually cross paths much sooner. Almost at the start of it all. So, why was it so late this time? Did he figure something out? I'd ask, but... he doesn't seem to remember everything here in our reality like he does in the Motel. That's part of the story though. He can't know where it's going while he's in it. Just like everyone else. »
She pauses.
« Did he worry about not finding us sooner? Or, is it just me? »
His question snaps her from her thoughts with Polaris. She sits up right, eyebrows coming together, looking at him as if he's proposed the silliest idea she's ever heard. ]
What? No. [ She shakes her head lightly, causing the loose hair to bounce off her cheeks. ] I lost count of how many times we have--but, no. No. I wasn't going to at all. Why? I already know the answers you gave me countless times.
[ Jesse hesitates for a moment. ] I...
[ « How can I say it without sounding ridiculous? More than I already am around him. »
She looks to the side and frowns to herself. ] I was--I thought that...
[ « I really do sound ridiculous. Maybe I shouldn't have worried at all. It wasn't just worry. I was scared that I lost him this time. Again. Have I? What if he doesn't remember what I do? Or, not enough for it to matter. He promised though. He said he'd write it... »
Jesse frowns more before bundling everything inside her and forcing herself to look back at him. She wants to talk like they did before, be side by side, be with him. ]
I just wanted to talk. [ « Like we have. » ] Not the interviewing kind. Like, how we...
[ She shakes her head again at herself, it's not important. Her eyes stay downwards. Jesse rarely let's herself be vulnerable. Anytime she senses that it might have been wrong to do so? Those walls slowly start to come back up in self-defense, and it's obvious in how her posture goes rigid and the look in her eyes. Of course, Alan knows all those small details. How much he can pick up on them with his current condition is another thing.
« I miss him. » ]
Nevermind.
[ « Maybe it should have been an invterview. » ]