[ Maybe instead of racking his brain trying to figure out how to put his life back together again, since it seems to only be making him spiral out more, falling deeper into a proverbial lake with no bottom, he should simply focus on what's happening right now: on this conversation with Jesse, on learning more about Polaris and whatever else she is willing to share with him. ]
You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Forget that I asked. [ The words slide out before he can stop them, as soon as he realizes that she is hesitating. It was wrong for him to ask her, because why should she trust him with anything, let alone something so personal? If the situation was reversed, would he want to tell her in detail about everything that had happened following his dive into Cauldron Lake?
He needed to tell someone sooner or later, as all of it was eating him alive even now, but was now the right time to do it? Was Jesse the right person to hear it? Maybe he should simply take those secrets to his grave.
But if telling Jesse, the Bureau, someone information about the Dark Place helped stop more bad things from happening, didn't he have the obligation to? While Jesse has her own internal debate with Polaris, Alan's free hand lifts to grip his head for a second or two, as if the action will help clear the cascade of thoughts and questions and worries falling around in his mind. If only there was something he could do to clear the storm in his head.
Wake needed to write. No. No writing. Never again, not when it's his writing that makes things happen. His words cause trouble even when he doesn't intend them to. ]
Polaris. It's a good name. [ He hasn't smiled in who knows how long, but his lips twitch as if they want to smile now. Her guiding star. Polaris is the North Star. Guiding people on their way. It is the star to every wand'ring bark. It all makes sense, at least in Alan's mind. ] I'm glad that you're together, if that's the right way to describe it. It both is and isn't, isn't it? You're together, but the resonance comes from you too. It started with her, but now it's part of you.
[ He is still wary of opening himself up to things he can't explain, and maybe he doesn't fully trust Polaris, but she feels welcoming somehow. The Dark Presence took him over, wanted to swallow him, used him. He can't explain why he thinks Polaris is different, only that he feels different whens he picks up on that swirling, shifting energy. ]
She gave you something useful. [ He might call it a gift, but may be Jesse doesn't see it that way. He wouldn't presume to know what she might be thinking about her bond, her connection with Polaris. In contrast, he isn't sure how useful his own abilities are. ] You have theories, and theories can become proof.
[ He's not entirely sure where he's going with that train of thought, and he stops thinking about it, as Polaris has very thoroughly managed to distract him with her shimmer. ]
no subject
You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Forget that I asked. [ The words slide out before he can stop them, as soon as he realizes that she is hesitating. It was wrong for him to ask her, because why should she trust him with anything, let alone something so personal? If the situation was reversed, would he want to tell her in detail about everything that had happened following his dive into Cauldron Lake?
He needed to tell someone sooner or later, as all of it was eating him alive even now, but was now the right time to do it? Was Jesse the right person to hear it? Maybe he should simply take those secrets to his grave.
But if telling Jesse, the Bureau, someone information about the Dark Place helped stop more bad things from happening, didn't he have the obligation to? While Jesse has her own internal debate with Polaris, Alan's free hand lifts to grip his head for a second or two, as if the action will help clear the cascade of thoughts and questions and worries falling around in his mind. If only there was something he could do to clear the storm in his head.
Wake needed to write. No. No writing. Never again, not when it's his writing that makes things happen. His words cause trouble even when he doesn't intend them to. ]
Polaris. It's a good name. [ He hasn't smiled in who knows how long, but his lips twitch as if they want to smile now. Her guiding star. Polaris is the North Star. Guiding people on their way. It is the star to every wand'ring bark. It all makes sense, at least in Alan's mind. ] I'm glad that you're together, if that's the right way to describe it. It both is and isn't, isn't it? You're together, but the resonance comes from you too. It started with her, but now it's part of you.
[ He is still wary of opening himself up to things he can't explain, and maybe he doesn't fully trust Polaris, but she feels welcoming somehow. The Dark Presence took him over, wanted to swallow him, used him. He can't explain why he thinks Polaris is different, only that he feels different whens he picks up on that swirling, shifting energy. ]
She gave you something useful. [ He might call it a gift, but may be Jesse doesn't see it that way. He wouldn't presume to know what she might be thinking about her bond, her connection with Polaris. In contrast, he isn't sure how useful his own abilities are. ] You have theories, and theories can become proof.
[ He's not entirely sure where he's going with that train of thought, and he stops thinking about it, as Polaris has very thoroughly managed to distract him with her shimmer. ]