[ He falls silent for a moment or two while Jonathan continues his examination, and as he does, a memory surfaces and he feels obligated to let him know of it. ]

I know that I said I have no interest in throwing away my life, but there was a time while she was at work that I felt a certain resignation... resignation that I might not survive, and that if I did not, it might not be such a bad thing.

But I am still here, and there must be a reason for it. [ He sees no such reason for himself, but now that Lantaa has entered his life, there is a purpose that he did not have before. ]