[ He does have abilities that he did not possess before he was turned, but he has learned that he does not wish to make use of those abilities if he can help it. He does not deny that they have their use, but there is a part of him that wishes to go through life as if he were still an ordinary man, not a voidsent. It is foolish, of course, as there is no undoing what has been done, but he is resolved to behave as normally as possible. And if that means not making use of his unwanted gifts and refraining from feeding off of others, then that is what he will do. Naturally, he cannot refrain from feeding forever, but in those situations, he satisfies that need by preying on rats and other smaller creatures. Better to do that than become a ruthless killer hunting and murdering those with lives and families and a future.
He refuses to allow his thoughts and his resentment to fester, but he was once one of those who had a life and a family before he was turned against his will and before illness took his parents. ]
Yes, you are complicated. But that does not have to be a bad thing. [ He keeps his hand where it is, but he lightly moves it against her face once or twice, as if hoping to soothe her and to remind himself of how a truly living being feels. He is alive, in a manner of speaking, but it is a different sort of living than what she has. ]
I could grow accustomed to this, although wisdom says that I should not. [ He finds he enjoys her closeness, as he has not experienced such a thing in many years. And even then, it was not like this. Truthfully, he is surprised that he does not repulse her or cause her to recoil because of who and what he is. Among his own complicated feelings is a sense of gratitude that she has not pushed him away. ]
You wish for me to order you to follow me? To compel you to go against what your own mind is telling you? That is not a common occurrence. [ To be compelled in such a way has never been received well by anyone, if the stories he has heard and read about can be believed. Speaking for himself, he has not used that ability on anyone, as his own loathing directed at himself is deep enough on its own. If he could recoil from himself, he would, but of course that is impossible. ]
Is leaving truly what you desire? [ Her half-finished, halting words seem to indicate that, and so he makes a first attempt. ]
You can leave this cave. You should leave this cave and accompany me. [ His words still leave room for personal choice, but there is a part of him that believes she will experience this initial attempt at compelling her and that will cause her to turn away from him. To have one's agency and will overridden does not sit well with the living, and he expects nothing different from her. ]
no subject
He refuses to allow his thoughts and his resentment to fester, but he was once one of those who had a life and a family before he was turned against his will and before illness took his parents. ]
Yes, you are complicated. But that does not have to be a bad thing. [ He keeps his hand where it is, but he lightly moves it against her face once or twice, as if hoping to soothe her and to remind himself of how a truly living being feels. He is alive, in a manner of speaking, but it is a different sort of living than what she has. ]
I could grow accustomed to this, although wisdom says that I should not. [ He finds he enjoys her closeness, as he has not experienced such a thing in many years. And even then, it was not like this. Truthfully, he is surprised that he does not repulse her or cause her to recoil because of who and what he is. Among his own complicated feelings is a sense of gratitude that she has not pushed him away. ]
You wish for me to order you to follow me? To compel you to go against what your own mind is telling you? That is not a common occurrence. [ To be compelled in such a way has never been received well by anyone, if the stories he has heard and read about can be believed. Speaking for himself, he has not used that ability on anyone, as his own loathing directed at himself is deep enough on its own. If he could recoil from himself, he would, but of course that is impossible. ]
Is leaving truly what you desire? [ Her half-finished, halting words seem to indicate that, and so he makes a first attempt. ]
You can leave this cave. You should leave this cave and accompany me. [ His words still leave room for personal choice, but there is a part of him that believes she will experience this initial attempt at compelling her and that will cause her to turn away from him. To have one's agency and will overridden does not sit well with the living, and he expects nothing different from her. ]