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synthneon2022-06-08 11:49 pm
heranswers) wrote in synthneon2022-06-08 11:49 pm
Entry tags:
echoes of truth | ❝ to all of my children to whom.... ❞
Higher, o' higher
E'er our hearts endure and remain forever strong
Standing tall through the dark do we carry on
no subject
Why is she unable to explain her emotions so he might understand her meaning entirely? Perhaps it is because he is a Lord and Knight of Ishgard, and she is merely a healer from a tribe who prefers to be left alone. Regardless, once his entire focus is on her, she presses her forehead against his further. ]
I may have kept some part of me that is "Lantaa", but not in the way I am ... the way I have been. [ Her gaze never leaves him, instead following along if he attempts to look away. ] I wouldn't have been able to be the woman who found her answers of countless Starlight Eves. If you hadn't... then, all I could be was a Warrior of Light always wishing to find ways to bring a smile to the face of the one she loves, but felt she could never be with.
[ She frowns then, eyebrows turning upwards at their edges. ] When all the Scions had gone? Thisru and I stood on the empty husk of a world long dead before Meteion had found it. It was so lonely, so empty. It was no surprise why Meteion had turned the way she did after encountering such emotions over and over...
But then, we could hear the prayers and thoughts from all of you here at home. Each wish, each hope, each worry. Even then, among the sea of voices and dim figures the dynamis took shape of? Yours was the one I heard the loudest. Your simple wish for peace to the home that had seen endless war; a desire to be at ease with those who wished an end to your people...
[ Her nose presses to the side against his again. ] And the even quieter wish to no longer be alone. [ Alkaid presses her lips together before closing her eyes, with tears slowly moving down her face. ] So, please, AymericI. Do not belittle yourself so much to me. You keep--you keep me who I am amongst all of the whirlwind of this life. You guard and protect my heart.
no subject
Often have you said those words, and I am honored that you think of me so highly. But along those same lines, what sort of man would I be had you not approached me in turn? Perhaps all I would have been then is a bastard son of a man who never truly looked upon me, and perhaps I would never have opened my heart as much as I have- thanks to you.
[ He was as she described him: desiring to reach out but being unsure how to, and being afraid to on top of that. Her own openness and warmth showed him how to be the same, and how to not be afraid to show that to others.
At her next words, his eyebrows raise as if he is surprised. Not shocked, exactly, but certainly surprised. ]
I do feel sorry for this Meteion. To have been confronted by such bleakness and despair... it is difficult for me to comprehend, and yet I can only imagine how it must have affected her. As for the rest... Our prayers and thoughts have ever gone with you and your sister, and all the Scions as well. And speaking more personally, you are never far from my own thoughts and prayers when your paths take you far from home.
[ Well he knows that his wishes were simple during the times of war that plagued Ishgard. He saw no reason to keep those wishes unspoken. The other wish that she speaks of is one he kept to himself, as she also knows, but he feels no embarrassment for having it. He does know that should all his friends and loved ones depart, he would find himself at a loss for what to do. Perhaps he would simply follow after them and ask what he might do to rectify things, as surely it was his error that compelled them to leave.
The very thought of having his home be empty and silent once more save for himself, the faithful steward and maid, and his cat is quite a sad one indeed, and one he does not like to dwell upon for any length of time. ]
Perhaps I have much still to learn about loving and being loved. [ That habit of his is a hard one to break, as they are both finding out. ] But Lantaa, you do the same for me, in so many ways.
[ And then he leans in even closer (quite a feat, considering how close they are already, so that he might gently place a kiss onto her mouth. ]
no subject
Hergaze softens at his words. She would like to think that even if they did not find one another, he would have found one to love. The idea makes her heart ache and the ancient feelings inside scream, but, the reality is that he could have loved another. She glances down for a brief moment before nudging his nose with hers once more.
Then, a nod for the assessment of Meteion. Perhaps one day he will meet the small ancient blue bird--should she return from her heavenly travels. Alkaid believes she will, as their star is her home. Not to mention the star in which Hermes ultimately resides on. ]
Do you still carry one of my ribbons on you? [ The question is a gentle one. She is aware how he would when she was away on the First, and how much leaving has truly taken its toll on him. Her hands curl against his armor slightly. At least, now, she will not need to travel. ] I hope I have done well to protect it even when I was so far away.
[ She kisses him in return with her ears twitching. While it may not have the strength it normally may? It is not lacking in earnest. She presses one more kiss to his cheek before shifting onto her knees for him to raise her from the cooled water. ]
no subject
At her question, he nods, because it has become something of a habit to keep one of her ribbons on his person. Perhaps he will not have to now that she is home, but the sight of it and the feel of it was enough to remind him that she was still there in some way, and that she would find her way home one day.
With a slight smile that does not quite hide the lingering feelings of missing her as much as he had, he reveals the ribbon that he has kept with him, holding it out to her. ]
Of course you have. There can be no doubt of it. [ If not for how she had left her mark upon the house, even in the smallest of ways, and if not for the visual reminders such as her ribbon, he knows he would have not found the separation as easy to bear. It was not easy at all, even with those things, but it would have been worse had she not left those small tokens of herself and her presence. The memories of her that he carried with him helped take one day at a time, even when he did not wish to. '
And it is with those thoughts in mind that he brushes yet another kiss in return before he assists her in leaving the water and the tub behind. ]
no subject
We should use this one tomorrow in my hair. [ Alkaid smiles at him then, meeting him once more in a kiss. ] I suppose now I can stride into the House of Lords if they are keeping my betrothed too late at night.
[ There is a playful smile to her face. Yet, she pushes herself up as he helps her. She steps from the tub, nodding to the nearby towel before moving her tail away and giving it a good shake to remove some of the water. Her arms still shake as she pulls the towel around her, but she does her best to keep him from worrying. Drying off even takes some assistance and a blush takes her face. Her shaking hands rest on his sash once more to indicate he can pick her up and take her to the bed as she is certain he would wish to.
Alkaid rests her head against his shoulder. Her head tilts into his neck as her eyes close. She's quiet until they reach the bed, then she nudges his neck affectionately. Before he places her down, a still shaking hand raises to rest on the side of his face. Next, her ears droop and her tail gently sways. ]
It's over. [ She pauses to give a shaking inhale. Then, her eyes raise to look at him through her bangs once more. ] All of it... it's finally over, Costas.
[ Her gaze softens as a shy smile takes her face. She had decided on her own to rarely use his ancient name--if at all on purpose--as the name itself feels something that is a precious secret. Yet, this time, she uses it purposely and deliberately. He will no doubt understand the meaning of using it now. The struggle that has plagued their star since the ancient days is at an end. The task that had surely pulled her and her sister away as the ancient seat of Azem had been resolved. Now, they can be together, as she feels they have always wished to be--and not only as Alkaid and Aymeric. ]
no subject
Yes, we should, and we shall. [ He realizes then that he has not had the opportunity to touch her hair, much less style it the way she does, and perhaps that is too bold a request, but it is one that he wishes to make. For now, however, he files it away in the back of his mind, because it can wait until the morning. ] What a stir that would cause. I have been, of course, required to remain there late into the evening, but I will make every effort to spur things along so that I might return home to you and the children with all haste. [ Duty and responsibility to his work is one thing, but now he has other obligations and other responsibilities that are of equal importance.
As they work together to move her from the tub, he is quick to react to whatever she needs, and when she nods to the towel, he takes hold of it and brings it over so that she might wrap it around her. A few drops of water from her tail land on him, but he pays them no mind. He does quickly give her a slight perusal, as if further looking for any signs of anything worrisome, but he finds himself distracted once again when she places her hands upon his sash, signaling that it is time for him to lift her so that he might bring her to the bed.
His heart seems to skip a beat when she rests her head against his shoulder, but his hold on her is solid and he does his best to step carefully so that he does not jar her unnecessarily. ]
Indeed, it is. You are home, and nothing... nothing will take you from us again. [ Once, he would have said "from me", but now there are others who need her there and most assuredly feel incomplete when she is absent.
They are now back at the bed, and while he does not intend to break the contact between them, he pulls back the covers of the bed before placing her down. And once she is settled and comfortable, he reaches for the covers again and carefully pulls them over her. Once that is accomplished and he is certain she is resting comfortably, then he sits beside her on the edge of the bed.
Perhaps if she falls asleep, he will simply remain there watching over her, should she need anything in the middle of the night. ]
no subject
I imagine Mélodie and Leon make quite the stir when they fetch you every night. [ She attempts to look stoic, but, the corner of her lips pull slightly into a smirk. ] I had only intended them to see to it on nights you stayed far too late... but I think they've turned it into something of a habit. A good habit.
[ Once he sets her down, she gently brushes along his cheekbone as if to say she is aware he means she will not be taken from him again. This certainly the children to consider, and the staff, but she would not see him squander his needs for others. She does that enough for the pair of them.
Alkaid glances down at the blanket, then looks up at him once more as the corner of her lips tug again. She intends to wait to see if he has noticed she remains in the towel and neither of them are dressed for bed. It is a struggle, but she pushes herself to sit up and lean forward so that her nose gently touches where his collarbone rests underneath the armor. When his confusion is still clear, the smile she tried to repress spreads across her face. ]
You certainly cannot come to bed in your armor, my love. [ Her tail sways gently under the covers as her ears give a playful twitch. ] If your intention was that I go to bed bare, you only had to ask.
[ Once the realization crosses his face, Alkaid cannot hold back the laughter that breaks through. She gently kisses his cheek while attempting to stifle the spurts of laughter--rather giggles--that continue to come. In fact, she cannot remember the last time she had laughed so easily and naturally. It takes another moment to compose herself before nudging his cheek and then tugging on his sash to gesture she wishes to help him remove what she can of his armor. ]
And, tonight, I think it best if you pick what I should sleep in. [ She gives an affirmative nod as to approve to her own idea. Then, her cheeks puff out slightly for him. ] As not only my healer, but my betrothed, I think it only fitting with our first night together again.
no subject
Oh, they do indeed. The first time that they arrived, there were many who were quite surprised and yet endeared. [ He offers a smirk of his own when he sees the way she tries to maintain a straight face but does not quite manage it. ] I am glad that it has become a habit.
[ He may be dedicated to his work, but he is also dedicated to his family. And he would venture as far as to say that his family is even more important to him than the work that he does. As always, a shiver creeps up his spine in response to her touch, and for just a moment, he leans into it as if seeking the reassurance that she gives him.
It has not yet occurred to him that he has neglected to see her properly dressed for bed, but it does not take long for that realization to reach him, thanks to the looks she is giving him and the smile that spreads across her face. ]
I have been quite the inattentive partner, have I not? [ He cannot remember such occasions in their entirety, but he does seem to recall a time or two in which she assisted him in dressing when he was not able to on his own. The memories are obscured as though he is viewing them from behind a foggy glass, but something seems to have stirred them up in his mind. ] That was not my intention, I assure you.
[ If he was not so determined to assist her as best as he can (and it seems as though he made a slight blunder), he would have a moment of embarrassment and self-reproach because of his error. But he can hardly stop to think up recriminations when she is laughing the way she is. It lifts his spirits considerably to hear her laughter and see her smiling, so he chooses to focus upon that, and not upon his momentary forgetfulness.
At the familiar sensation of her tugging on his sash, he moves closer while also bending just slightly so that she might have an easier time reaching out to him. ]
You seem rather fond of sleeping in pieces from my own wardrobe, so I see no reason why that particular tradition should not continue. [ Meaning he will choose one of his shirts for her to wear and to sleep in, when that time comes. He pats her hand lightly, as if to say that they will return to the notion of removing his armor once he has retrieved said shirt for her.
It takes only a moment for him to choose one and then bring it back so that she might approve of his choice, or not, if she deems it unsatisfactory. ]
no subject
I wonder how many lords are jealous that their children, regardless of blood or adoption, do not come to fetch them. [ Alkaid glances down slightly. ] I imagine those whispers are far better than ones judging your choice in betrothed.
[ The gossip has never missed her ears, even if she has never truly commented on it. Many women remain jealous, she is certain, and many would speak of how he should have become engaged to another Elezen. That way there would be little question or worry in blood born heirs. Alkaid does not regret a moment of taking in their adopted children, and the notion is not unknown in Ishgard, but she is aware of the frowns at the prospect of her being Lady of House Borel. ]
You are usually the one being pampered, my love. [ She gently taps his nose before brushing her fingers along his cheek. ] And the children are old enough not to need your direction for bed. One can hardly blame you.
Although, if you would wish me bare... [ She gives a playful and briefly alluring smirk before laughing once more. Now is hardly the time, but she does wish him to know she is comfortable in all manners around him.
When he leans forward she begins undoing what she is able of his armor. She only pauses when his hand rests on hers to signal he is to retrieve their nightclothes and she nods. Alkaid watches him, and still remains fully glad he cannot remember the full details of his time as a tempered being. The affair still causes her heart to hurt and her hands to shake. Although, for all the scars on her heart from the ordeal? They were graced with two children who needed them ss much as they needed the children. ]
I do. [ Alkaid blushes uncontrollably at attention being brought to it. Her eyes move down and her tail sways more under the bedding. She supposes it is rather obvious. ] They're yours... a-and being dressed with them is a way to be close to you.
[ Her cheeks burn hotter and her hands raise to cover her face briefly once he sits back on the bed. She looks through her fingers, nodding at his choice for the night. Gods, how can she still be an embarrassed kitten after everything they've shared and done?
She then pulls the blankets back to slip from the towel. She shifts closer so he might dress her, as she imagines it will help him feel as a more attentive partner if he does. Then, she tilts her head as quickly as she can and presses a kiss to his mouth. A thank you for all he has ever done for her.
But, they can kiss more once they are both in bed. ]
Should I tend to the fire while you finish dressing for bed?
no subject
I would like to believe that there are many such lords who feel such enviousness at the sight of our children coming to fetch me home, and I am certain that there are quite a few who have a kind and loving relationship with their families.
[ He leaves it at that, but he is also aware that there are just as many families who have a more formal relationship and while children are appreciated, their home environment may not be the warmest nor the kindest. Of course, it is only speculation on his part, but he has wondered what sort of life he would have had had he been truly welcomed and accepted as the son of the Archbishop. ]
Perhaps that is so, but then I have neglected you and your needs. [ Oh, he knows he has done his best, but it does seem that the scales are a bit unevenly tipped. He means to rectify that now that she will be home more and called away less. ]
If you enjoy it so much, then of course, consider the entirety of my wardrobe as yours whenever you should desire it. [ Of course, such a thing will most likely be a shared private matter between them, as it should be, but he finds he likes the idea of her wearing his clothes to sleep in.
He returns with a loose fitting shirt for her, which he slides carefully over her head when she is ready. And when she is settled and comfortable once more, offering him that kiss, he leans into it and deepens it without hesitation. She offers to tend to the fire, and he pauses to consider the suggestion. ]
Are you able, or would that trouble your hurts too much? [ She ought to be resting while he tends to all the smaller details, but he does not want to refuse her outright. ]
no subject
I imagine some find it rather bothersome. Either those that are older, or perhaps those who believe far more in the older traditions? [ Her tone softens as she speaks. Alkaid has always known she does not know the traditions and undertones of Ishgardian culture. At least this inadequet feeling can be addressed. ] I wonder how much more scandelous it might be if I were to join them...
[ The thought causes her tail to sway ever slightly more.
She smiles gently at him, red still dominating her cheeks. He hardly needs to share his wardrobe with her, let alone anything else. She would not have him feel any of his person is compromised for her sake. Still, she will not have him feeling as if he is inadequet of a partner for her when that is far from the case.
As always, she melts into the kiss. A wide smile is on her face for him once they part. the temptation to pull him into bed is immediate, but, she refrains for now. Her attention drops to her arms as he poses his question. The correct answer is already in her mind even if she frowuns slightly. ]
It most likely would be a strain... which I imagine you would be quite against, as my caretaker. [ Alkaid gently nudges his nose with hers. ] I will wait duitiflly here for you then.
no subject
I have no objection to the three of you coming to collect me. [ But should he overhear even the slightest comment about them, then he will be forced to act. With respect, of course, but action would still be required. ]
I will do my best to be quick about it. [ And he is: quick but thorough. Soon enough, the fire is tended, and he has seen to other things that need to be done before they can retire comfortably. He returns to where she sits, and he reaches out to take hold of her hand. ]
Is there anything that you require? Some tea, perhaps?
no subject
I believe I would.
[ She is his betrothed after all. All of those in Ishgard certainly know this, thus it should not be so surprising she would be seen with the children waiting for him. Certainly the gossip far focuses on the fact a Warrior of Light lives with Ser Aymeric before they are even wed. Adopting children is hardly unusual for the people of Ishgard.
Of course, she will need to be well again, and plan the affair with the children. While their habit was one she requested? She does not wish to overstep if they see it as their moment alone with their father.
She watches as he tends to the fire and dresses for bed once his armor is removed. It takes a moment longer than she wishes, but, she manages to move over to her side of the bed so he might take his place. The movements are slow as she moves under the covers and gets comfortable underneath them. One hand takes his as the other moves to untie the ribbon around his wrist. She gestures for him to place it on the nightstand so he might use it in her hair for the morrow.
Her hand gently squeezes his. ] Only your company.
[ Once he has obliged, she welcomes him with as open arms as she is able. they shake as she struggles to wrap one around him and the other th rest on his face. Her thumb brushes his cheekbone before traveling up into his hair. All her fingers curl into his locks as she strains to rest her forehead against his jaw. she would pull herself to him as usual, but finds she lacks the strength to do so. ]
I missed you. [ A phrase she has said on numberous occassions this night, but now all the emotions are allowed to come through. The longing, the love, but also the pain. Having him be an aetheryte travel away yet be unable to be with him was more painful than being far away on the First.
She gently nudges his jaw in hopes he might pull her closer. ] Thisru had Raha with her... and yet, I couldn't bring you with me. All I could do was think of all the places I wished to show you.
[ Alkaid sniffles a cry that wishes to breakthrough. She supposes that is why Estinien had made himself more of a companion as possible. There were several nights she would lay in bed on her own looking out a window in the direction Ishgard was. Others, she would simply walk through the cities at night with her gaze up at the stars wondering if he looked to them for her as well. She focused on her duties and seeing those who needed it cared for, but, she imagines it was quite apparent to all the Scions how lonely she was becoming. Even then, she pushed on with hope, grace, and a smile for them all.
Now that she is home in his arms? She feels those emotions rise for Aymeric to take away and comfort her. Another cry attempts to come, but instead she hides her face between his neck and his shoulder with her tail tucked around them. ]
Even when I thought circumstances might allow me to return home... Ishgard needed my sister. Not me. [ She had hinted at it in the bath, but as always, when it is just the pair of them in bed? Everything comes forward. ] I just wish to be with you. Here. At home.
[ Alkaid presses a kiss his neck as if she is apologizing, asking he not hate her for her more selfish emotions. ]
no subject
It seems to him that she needs his comfort and care, and while he could wax on at length with promises to always look after her and support her, she has heard all those words before. They are always genuine, of course, and he means every one of them, but he finds he does not wish to speak his intentions but show them.
Still being careful not to jar her too much or cause her discomfort, he places his hands upon her, intending to slide her so that she is sitting on top of him. It might seem like a silly gesture, but it seems to him that the closer she is to him, the easier it will be for him to give her the comfort she needs. And, well, from that position, other displays of affection are just as easily performed.
Once she is settled and he is assured that her position is not causing her discomfort, he tilts his head forward just enough to brush a light kiss against her cheek. And only then does he speak. ]
Ishgard will always have need of you, dearest. [ He places a special emphasis upon that word, and he moves in such a way so that she can see the smile on his face. He hopes that she understands his meaning: that he will always need her, whether or not circumstances allow her to return to her home and to him.
Of course, now that she is free to remain here, he intends to ensure that they spend as much time together as possible, and in that way, fulfill her wish to be with him. ]
no subject
She carefully slides into her lap by straddling him. Their height difference makes several things tricky at times, but she has learned how to position herself for ease of effort. Her head tilts back so she might look at him proper with a small but sad smile on her lips. Long has she thought her sister the true Warrior of Light, while she merely someone who does not live up to the role. Somehow the request from home for magical aid, but not healers, stung her heart in a similar manner. A ridiculous thought, to be certain, and yet one she has had nonetheless.
Her eyes close at his gentle kiss. Her ears droop as always at his special name for her, but her heart gives a strong beat. Aymeric always seems to find thr right words to direct and reassure all around him, including her. She most certainly understands his double meaning and swallows the emotions threatening to rise in her. Of course he understood her worry. Only her sister knows her as well as he does.
Alkaid gently brushes her cheek to his in a brief show of affection. Her hands return to his hair, combing up into it to brush through the strands. ]
Even as just me, and not a Warrior of Light? A Savior of Ishgard? A holder of the Seat of Azem? [ She almost feels as if she has asked him this once before. Perhaps in another life. ] As just Lantaa... and Althea?
[ Her eyes instantly cast downwards as a look of regret and shame crosses her face. Emet-Selcht insisted she and K'thisru continue to uphold their Seat. That they travel the world and shards and aid the people. Yet, what of what she wishes? Is it so wrong to put the life she has wanted above such demands, now that all that Hydaelyn had seen to had been resolved?
And then, she echoes words spoken when she returned from the First: ] All I want is the life we are to have--the one we were supposed to have before everything. Through every life we've been reborn to... is that so wrong?
no subject
When she slides into her lap and straddles him, he instantly moves his hands to steady her should she need additional support. The smile she gives him causes him no small amount of worry, although he cannot be sure what is troubling her, but he means to find out. Little does he know that their thoughts are straying in similar directions. Of course, it would take quite the concerted effort to dislodge his belief in Alkaid and K'thisru as the celebrated Warriors of Light. There is no having one without the other, as both are needed and loved, and he has no doubts in either of them.
Still, he had wished that both sisters could have come to Ishgard to assist in the matter of the blasphemies, but there was nothing to be done about it. And perhaps it is for the best, as Alkaid has already supported him through difficulties before, and he would ask no more of her than she has already given.
Regardless, those events are in the past, even though both of them seem to carry them with them to some extent. He is content in this moment to simply hold her and relax with her, as best as both of them can. ]
Of course. I would have you as you are, as yourself, and it is high time that we saw you as you, still our savior, but our sister and our friend. [ He pauses for a moment before he adds: ] And, of course, my dearest.
[ His hold upon her tightens just slightly in response to her words and he speaks without hesitation. ] How could that ever be wrong?
no subject
A tired look passes over her eyes as he refers to her in such a way. Our savior. She tires of such titles and notions. Yes, she and her sister share all those titles. Eozrea's Champions, Hydaelyn's Chosen, the Warriors of Light, the Saviors of Ishgard, the Warriors of Darkness--Azem. Yet, deep down, she only truly ever wishes to be seen as herself. That was one of the few things that had initially endeared her so much to her betrothed. He, out of all they had met, inquired on the state of the Warriors of Light as people. Not even the Scions had done that for them at the time.
Alkaid sighs and tilts her head down. Her forehead rests to his shoulder as her hands lazily toy with the edges of his hair. A smile touches on her face at his name of her as the name always causes her to react. The tip of her tail sways happily. She lifts her tail to curl around the pair of them, offering for him to touch and brush it if he desires. ]
Emet-Selcht had insisted Thisru and I continue to uphold our ancient seat. That, if we inherited the crystal that is already by all rights ours, that it was the least we could do. Continue to travel the world, see its people, see what is hidden away anywhere we could find. Perhaps even visit the other shards as we had the First.
[ Alkaid's eyes close as all of her weight leans into him. She is beyond exhausted, injured, and spent in many ways. How much longer must she continue this? ]
Is it truly alright if I retire and simply be your dearest?
no subject
As he sees it, everything he needs is right here with the family that he has found. Or rather, the family that found him.
The look on her face does not escape his notice, and he wonders if he has misspoken again. There is a part of him that still thinks of her as their savior and their champion, because she and her sister brought an end to that long drawn out war and it is because of them that the people of Ishgard can hope and experience something other than fighting and strife. But he also knows that she does not wish to be only that person. She wishes to be herself, and he can understand why she feels that way. ]
Perhaps I misspoke. You are not only our champions and saviors and all the other titles that have been given to you. You are yourself: Alkaid, Lantaa, my dearest, above everything else, simply because that is who you wish to be.
[ He smiles a small smile and circles his arm around her protectively even as he draws her in just a fraction closer. ]
Of course it is all right. If anyone says otherwise, I will be quick to correct them on your behalf should you need me to.
/wraps this up
She leans her entire weight against him as he speaks. Her eyes close tiredly, but her tail continues to sway ever so slightly. Her arms begin to shake to the point she must remove them from around his neck and simply curl up into his embrace. She cradles her injured arms and rests her head against his chest and nods to show she has heard him.
Eventually, his heart beat lures her into an uneasy slumber, but a slumber none the less. ]