[ Once again, he finds himself conflicted. Oh, he wishes to have her home and by his side always, or at least, as much as she is able. What he hopes for more than anything is for a day to come in which she will not have to travel so far away from him and from their home. But such a thing still feels incredibly selfish to him, and so he struggles with the notion that she would retire from the Scions because of him. ]
I would not ask you to do such a thing simply because I desire it. If you wish to continue working with the Scions, who am I to stop you?
[ His emotions threaten to choke him once more, and he knows that they are clear in his tone of voice, but try as he might to get a hold of himself, he finds he is unable to in this present moment. ]
Our wedding... [ No sooner does she say those words than the dam seems to burst, letting his emotions spill out in full, and with it bringing all the hurt and loneliness he tried so hard to keep inside while she was gone. His hands clench into fists and his shoulders shake, but lest she misunderstand, he is only reacting this way because he has missed her so much. The very thought of finally being able to plan and have their wedding brings so much happiness to him, even if that happiness might seem lost in the wave of emotions he is trying to navigate. ] I can think of nothing that I desire more than to share in planning our wedding and experiencing that happiness with you when the day finally comes.
[ But no sooner does he say those words than his power of speech temporarily flees. His hands that had clenched into fists loosen and reach for her, although he knows she is right there with him. But she is right in saying that there was no one for him to seek out for comfort. The cat that has been with him for so many years was there, of course, but he did not remain at Aymeric's side the entirety of the time. Still, some company is better than none at all, and he did have the steward and the maid as well.
But none of them were Lantaa, and at times when sleep escaped him, he would quietly walk the halls of the manor, occasionally stopping when he saw something that belonged to her or when he caught the faintest hint of lilies. And for just a moment, he would smile and think of her, even though she was far away.
His aether moves, still twisting and turning in knots even though her efforts are beginning to see them unmade, and for just a moment, the ache in his side seems to intensify, as if responding to occasions in which people sought to hurt him. The most recent one, of course, is the summoning of Thordan, and although Aymeric cannot recall every detail that transpired, he knows it has left its mark in the form of a fear of being turned once again, of being made unrecognizable.
If he could do it without dislodging her hands, he would turn onto his side and curl in on himself once more, but he has enough presence of mind to lie still even as he lightly nestles even further into her lap. He hopes that this is not an uncomfortable position for her, and so he tries not to go too far lest he make her legs ache as well.
He finally finds his voice again just in time to offer a response to her question. ]
What might you do? You have... You have already done so much. [ His eyes once again search for hers, and the look of longing and need is all too clear in them.
But as has happened before, an image... a memory springs forth unbidden, and for just a moment, Aymeric finds himself transported to a different time, and not a happy one either.
Please... Do not leave us.
The words are spoken only in his mind, but she might notice how his lips move soundlessly, echoing the words that he spoke once when he was younger than he is now. The subject of them is, of course, different, but the heartfelt yearning behind them is very much the same.
Do not leave me.
It takes another moment for the mist that seems to be swirling about and clouding his vision to fade, and when it does, he turns his head upward just slightly so that he might see her better. ]
Don't go. [ It is a foolish request to make, because whether she is a Scion or not, her duty as Hydaelyn's Champion may still take her far from him, but it slips out before he can think to recall it. ]
no subject
I would not ask you to do such a thing simply because I desire it. If you wish to continue working with the Scions, who am I to stop you?
[ His emotions threaten to choke him once more, and he knows that they are clear in his tone of voice, but try as he might to get a hold of himself, he finds he is unable to in this present moment. ]
Our wedding... [ No sooner does she say those words than the dam seems to burst, letting his emotions spill out in full, and with it bringing all the hurt and loneliness he tried so hard to keep inside while she was gone. His hands clench into fists and his shoulders shake, but lest she misunderstand, he is only reacting this way because he has missed her so much. The very thought of finally being able to plan and have their wedding brings so much happiness to him, even if that happiness might seem lost in the wave of emotions he is trying to navigate. ] I can think of nothing that I desire more than to share in planning our wedding and experiencing that happiness with you when the day finally comes.
[ But no sooner does he say those words than his power of speech temporarily flees. His hands that had clenched into fists loosen and reach for her, although he knows she is right there with him. But she is right in saying that there was no one for him to seek out for comfort. The cat that has been with him for so many years was there, of course, but he did not remain at Aymeric's side the entirety of the time. Still, some company is better than none at all, and he did have the steward and the maid as well.
But none of them were Lantaa, and at times when sleep escaped him, he would quietly walk the halls of the manor, occasionally stopping when he saw something that belonged to her or when he caught the faintest hint of lilies. And for just a moment, he would smile and think of her, even though she was far away.
His aether moves, still twisting and turning in knots even though her efforts are beginning to see them unmade, and for just a moment, the ache in his side seems to intensify, as if responding to occasions in which people sought to hurt him. The most recent one, of course, is the summoning of Thordan, and although Aymeric cannot recall every detail that transpired, he knows it has left its mark in the form of a fear of being turned once again, of being made unrecognizable.
If he could do it without dislodging her hands, he would turn onto his side and curl in on himself once more, but he has enough presence of mind to lie still even as he lightly nestles even further into her lap. He hopes that this is not an uncomfortable position for her, and so he tries not to go too far lest he make her legs ache as well.
He finally finds his voice again just in time to offer a response to her question. ]
What might you do? You have... You have already done so much. [ His eyes once again search for hers, and the look of longing and need is all too clear in them.
But as has happened before, an image... a memory springs forth unbidden, and for just a moment, Aymeric finds himself transported to a different time, and not a happy one either.
Please... Do not leave us.
The words are spoken only in his mind, but she might notice how his lips move soundlessly, echoing the words that he spoke once when he was younger than he is now. The subject of them is, of course, different, but the heartfelt yearning behind them is very much the same.
Do not leave me.
It takes another moment for the mist that seems to be swirling about and clouding his vision to fade, and when it does, he turns his head upward just slightly so that he might see her better. ]
Don't go. [ It is a foolish request to make, because whether she is a Scion or not, her duty as Hydaelyn's Champion may still take her far from him, but it slips out before he can think to recall it. ]