echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

[dragonssung]

song of hope

BOOK 3.5: EVER HEAVENSWARD

Tales of loss and fire and faith
Every word on our hearts engraved
In the dark you will not stray
Forge ahead, till the end, we prayCODE BY TESSISAMESS

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[thewayforpeace]

[ The hours and days that have passed have fallen into a sort of routine, and most of the time, Aymeric has spent it sleeping. He rouses when Alkaid needs him to, for various reasons, but a good portion of his strength and energy seems to have waned, and being awake for more than a few minutes at a time seems like quite the daunting task for him.

Still, his sleep has not been particularly restful either. His nightmares alternate between scenes of Ishgard being razed to the ground, or of Thordan venting his anger and rage upon him for failing to do as he was asked. At times, he curls up on the bed, as if that will protect him from the ire that's falling on him in his sleep. Other times, he twists and turns wildly on the bed as horror takes hold of him.

But even though his sleep is difficult and barely counts as rest, he is still there, just waiting for it to be his turn to receive the cure that Alisaie and all their other allies have managed to develop, whether he knows it or not.

Alkaid's gentle voice breaks through the harrowing nightmares his mind has conjured up, but at first he does not respond, other than a tensing up of his arm betraying the things he is being forced to witness.

Slowly, his eyes open, and it takes a moment for him to focus upon the woman who has ever been by his side through this whole ordeal. Even though he is beginning to wake, the bed and the blankets are warm, and he is just so very tired. Moving his limbs and trying to sit up seems impossible, even if he wished to leave the bed.

His eyes close again as she lightly kisses the tip of his ear, and he seems to sink back into the blankets that surround him. Although he cannot find the strength to speak, it seems as though he has neither the desire nor the strength to leave the bed. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her head tilts slightly, offering him a gentle smile when his eyes open to look at her. Her tail swaying enough for him to see that she is happy to see him awake. She has done her utmost the last few days to remain positive and at least a little happier for him.

Eyebrows raise as his eyes drift close. There are times when he seems to have enough energy to get up and move from room. Then, there are times, as now, where he can barely move at all. Her ears lower slightly as she nods. She leans down once more to kiss his forehead. ]

Go ahead and rest just a bit more. I'll be right back.

[ She squeezes his hand once more before slipping from the bed and out the door. Alkaid raises her gaze to look at the handful of Scions in the room, including her sister and the twins. The ever vigilant Estinien leans against the wall with his arms folded. ]

He doesn't have the strength to move right now... so, either we do this later, or one of you comes in with me. I imagine anymore than that would cause too much distress.

[ Alisaie sighs before looking at the rest in the room. Her hands come together and in a flash of light, her familiar floats beside her. She then turns to the others with her hands on her hips. ]

Baring that then, it might be best if I go in on my own. So, then. Who would like to help? I imagine Alkaid has done her best to keep Ser Aymeric's aether at least flowing... but...

[ Estinien pushes himself from the wall. ] I've no idea how to cast this magic you might need, but, my aether is needed as you see fit.

[ Alkaid nods and quietly slips back into the bedroom. She returns to Aymeric's side, hand resting on the side of his face to alert him to her presence. Once he has opened his eyes once more, she kneels down beside the bed to be at the level of his eyesight. ]

Aymeric, [ her fingers move to brush the hair from his eyes. ] Alisaie is going to be joining us to help. It'll be only her. She's Alphinaud's twin sister. But, she has what is going to help.

[thewayforpeace]

[ Although he does not have the voice to say so right now, just the sight of her smiling at him, tail swaying, is enough to ease the tension in his form and cause the lines on his forehead to smooth themselves out once more. She does not need to say anything to calm him; just her smile and the touch of her hand is enough.

When she kisses his forehead, a quiet sigh escapes him and he settles even further into the blankets. Her leaving the room, even temporarily, might have caused him distress at one point, but it is a mark of his exhaustion that he does not stir as he lies in the bed. Her kisses and her light touches on his hands and arms are reassurance enough that she will do as she said and be right back.

Sleep pulls him under again as she speaks with the Scions and her sister. When Alisaie poses the question of who will help by supplying her with their aether, both K'thisru and Alphinaud are quick to add in their offers, even though Estinien manages to get there first. It makes sense, after all, Aymeric is Estinien's old friend.

Even so, K'thisru has no hesitations about this, because Aymeric is the man her sister loves so dearly, and as for Alphinaud, the Lord Speaker opened the doors to them and gave them a home when no one else would. Helping even in this small way is the least that he can do for him.

When Alkaid returns, of course Aymeric is asleep once more, but it is a light sleep, and one that does not give the opportunity for dreams or nightmares. His eyes move beneath his eyelids when Alkaid rests her hand on his face as if he senses her presence and is trying to pull himself from the sleep that has briefly taken him.

It takes another moment for his eyes to open once more, the light in them from the primal still apparent but slightly faded. He certainly is not a fit vessel for the primal to use, not in his current state, nor will he be if what Alisaie and the Scions intend does work.

He still cannot make his voice form words, so all he does is blink once, then twice, as if slowly acknowledging what she has said. How she intends to help, he is unsure, but he can do little more than lie here and wait to see what happens next. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ She wishes she could smile for him as she once did. Bright and joyful, confident in herself. Now, it is only small and a forced joy. Nothing of their situation truly makes her happy; nothing of it would lead one to hope. Yet, she has at least had hope and faith that seems as if it will be rewarded now. Logic dictates that Alisaie would not be there without the cure being a success. Ga Bu has been cured by Alisaie's own words. But, she cannot help the nervousness and fear that simmers beneath it all. She contains it as best she can so Aymeric will not sense it.

Alkaid moves quietly with no sudden movements to be on the bed beside him. A hand moves to his arm while the other moves to help him sit up. ]

You need to at least sit up for her, my love. It may be easier. [ She presumes it will anyways. ] You can use my shoulder to rest on all you may need. Lean everything on me if you must. I'm here however you may need me... but do your best to sit up.

[ Alisaie thanks them all and directs them to channel their aether into the familiar. Alphinaud had already offered to help with Ga Bu, and she intends to thank her twin as best she can. Now, she just wishes to help the woman that is so much like the elder sister they never had.

Estinien channels all the aether he can manage before leaning over and grumbling lowly of the state of it all. Though, his ice-steel eyes move to Alphinaud to make certain he is alright. Then, they move to K'thisru ad well. Alisaie instructs them that it may take some time--as she has no idea how tempered Ser Aymeric is compared to Ga Bu.

She uncharacteristically thanks them all before moving to knock on the door that Alkaid disappeared behind. Alisaie enters the room with a small verbal note of her intrusion. Her eyes move to the two on the bed and she all but freezes for a moment. Alisaie has never met the Lord Speaker until this moment, but she read the reports her brother wrote, leaving her to admit the state of him was certainly not what she anticipated.

Even more so, she has never seen Alkaid so... gentle? While she had watched the white mage heal numberous times? This is something far different than what she expected. The Warrior of Light holds the Lord Speaker to her with an arm wrapped around him and the other atop his head, brushing his hair down. He almost seems to be in the state Ga Bu was in. No wonder Alkaid had been so distressed at the meeting...

Alkaid looks over at her and gives her a small welcoming smile. ] How does this work, Alisaie? You are the expert.

[ Alisaie changes her posture and approaches the bed. ] Angelo has the magick needed to realign the aether in him and help stimulate the memories of Ser Aymeric's true self. I'll have to channel the magick into him, so holding him might work the best. And, having you here should ground him further. Is he...

[ Alkaid looks at the man she loves with her whole being. A kiss is placed to the top of his head. ] He knows you are here to help. He is just very tired this morning. Sometimes he wakes and can do anything he might need, other times fighting off King Thordan renders him exhausted. He has done his utmost to fight it off. [ She turns her head to look back at the young Elezen. ] Whenever you are ready, Alisaie.

[ Alisaie swallow the sudden wad of emotions in her throat. For some reason, she had not expected the level of tenderness she sees Alkaid give her betrothed. Perhaps because her own father had not showed much affection to her mother as they grew up. Not that he was cold, or loveless, but certainly consumed in his work. She had thought Alkaid and Ser Aymeric might be similar in that regard. She nods then, a hand raising to direct Angelo closer to her. ]

Are you ready, Ser Aymeric? It ... could be unpleasant, if King Thordan fights strongly along the way. But, Alkaid is here to help you however you may need while I work.

[ Once permission is given, Alisae holds her hand out and closes her eyes to concentrate. Angelo glows with the combined aether that Alkaid can sense belongs to each person in the sitting room. A gentle beam of light moves from Angelo to Aymeric in order to channel the aether to him. Alkaid watches quietly, head resting on top of his, fingers brushing through the hair at the back of his neck and the skin there to soothe him. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ If he was capable of it, he would smile enough for the both of them, and have enough hope and faith to cover them. But the ability to express that has been taken from him by the long fight he has been locked in. Still, if all goes according to plan, perhaps everything that has been taken away will be returned.

Movement on his own is difficult, if not impossible, and he has to rely on Alkaid's support to even move to sit up. Once he is as upright as possible, the rest of him does not manage to follow suit, with his head falling forward just slightly and his eyes threatening to close once more.

Outside the room, the exchange of aether happens, and although K'thisru reasons it away by thinking she has had far worse and felt far more tired than this, even she cannot pretend that giving her aether has not affected her. Even so, she imagines that Aymeric is in a far worse state at the moment, and the thought of being able to contribute even a little to the cure makes it worth it. She looks at Estinien and Alphinaud both, as if wishing to ensure that they are also well, before her gaze returns to Alisaie. ]

Be careful, Alisaie... [ Fine words coming from her, but she can't hold them back either. ] And good luck.

[ Meanwhile, inside the room, once Alisaie joins them there, Aymeric remains propped up how Alkaid moved him, but he appears to be dozing. The kiss that Alkaid presses to his head causes him to stir just a fraction, but nothing more than that. Alisaie's presence in the room has registered with him, but he doesn't have the strength to even direct his eyes to look at her.

The cure must happen, and if he were capable of speech, he would simply tell Alisaie to do what she needed to. But even before she begins, the primal in Aymeric's mind stirs, once again sensing that something is wrong.

And no sooner does Alisaie begin and the light moves from Angelo to Aymeric than the primal lurches into action. Aymeric's body tenses against the shockwave that tears through him as King Thordan reacts to the intrusion. The process has only begun, but already, Thordan attempts to tighten the hold he has over Aymeric to prevent Alisaie from pulling him away.

He is unable to move under his own willpower, but his body protests Thordan's assault and he twists uncomfortably on the bed, the action pulling him away from Alkaid's comforting touch. Even so, his hands reach for her through the onslaught, seeking her comfort in the face of Thordan's attack. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Alkaid had expected the primal influence to react negatively. After all, the cure would be removing a devoted worshiper to it. She does her best to hold him still, but the motion his body makes pulls him from her hold. She immediately pulls him back to her, hands gripping onto his arms. Alkaid moves him to rest in her lap, doing her best to hold him down despite the fact she is only two-thirds his size. ]

Do not stop, Alisaie. No matter what. [ Her two-toned eyes raise to the younger Elezen with a firm nod. She knows that Aymeric, deep down, wishes to be free of his enthrallment. She aims to see that wish granted... especially if she cannot grant any of his others. ] Keep going.

[ Alisaie glances down at Aymeric but nods and closes her eyes once more to continue channeling the higher amount of aether. It aims to pull him back to them, pulling the haze from his mind bit by bit. She does not know him at all--but hopefully Alkaid might help him center his memories.

Alkaid turns her gaze to Aymeric. Once his eyes open, her gaze is there to capture his. She presses down to keep him anchored but forces a smile for him regardless. She cannot bring a whole true smile to him just yet. However, it is certainly better than the ones she has had of late. Her blond hair no longer kept in a braid cascades over her shoulders. ]

Ser Aymeric de Borel, Lord Speaker of the House of Speakers, Lord of House Borel... you have so many more titles, my knight. Do you remember them all?

[thewayforpeace]

[ If he thought that he had known pain before, from his various wounds or from Thordan's punishing blows, he knows now that what he felt previously pales in comparison to the ensuing struggle as Alisaie manipulates and channels more aether. Alkaid's grip on his arms keeps him from moving too far, but he jerks and shakes as a divide between him and King Thordan forms.

You would see Ishgard destroyed? These fools will seal her fate and yours if you allow them to continue. Again, he sees images of Ishgard burning, her lofty spires turning to ash and collapsing and her people turning on one another, or worst of all, lying dead in the streets. Aymeric's back arches as the primal's influence is forced from his mind and from everything that makes him him. He wove himself so deeply into Aymeric and who he is that driving him out now seems to be quite the demanding task.

Suddenly, Aymeric's eyes snap open, and even though there is pain clearly written in them, they are the clearest they have been since this all began. He latches onto the image of Alkaid that is before him, and how she attempts to smile for him. Once again, he sees her in robes holding flowers and smiling, hands beckoning to him to join her.

But Thordan is not finished, not just yet. Even as Aymeric's frenzied mind zeroes in on the titles she has named and tries to identify ones she has not, a rapid flow of words bursts from his mouth: ] You will not dislodge me so easily, Warrior of Light. This man- this knight is not yours. [ The primal uses Aymeric as its mouthpiece once more, forcing him to say words that are not his own.

The gap between them might be widening as Alisaie continues performing her cure, but the primal is not going to let go of Aymeric without a fight. And the way Aymeric continues to thrash even in Alkaid's hold indicates that he is presently in for the fight of his life. ]

How far will you go? What will you risk in hopes of bringing him back? [ A laugh, cold and harsh and not at all like Aymeric, bursts from his mouth.

But, suddenly and without warning, Aymeric speaks again, and this time, it is as himself, not the primal forcing him to throw poisonous words at Alkaid and Alisaie. ]

I am- I am Ser Aymeric de Borel of Ishgard, and you will not have me.

[ And as if saying those words has exhausted him, he lies still, but even in his swirling pain and fatigue that has reasserted itself, there is a faint sense of triumph beneath all of it. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Alkaid can only guess at the struggle inside his mind. A primal influence is one of an invading presence that subverts the will of the individual to their own. Removing it cannot be as simple as pushing it away by aether... perhaps the individual truly must wish to be restored to themselves for it to work. Further study would be required, but she could not imagine any that would subvert themselves or others to it in their age. Perhaps the Exarch was right in believing the Allagans had already done the work for them in that regard.

Her eyes narrow at the questions at the tempered thoughts that Aymeric addresses to her. Fingers curl slightly into his shoulders as if to silently say that the primal is quite wrong. If anything, Aymeric only belongs to himself and his own will. Perhaps the idea of calling him her knight does imply a sense of ownership that she does not have. Regardless, he is the man she loves and has promised herself to. King Thordan can do nothing to change that.

Alisaie continues to push despite the horrid sight before her. It is quite different than Ga Bu... and she has no idea as to why. There is something far more personal between Aymeric and the primal force. She can vaguely recall the connection, but, her mind is so focused on pulling the Lord Speaker's aether to the proper alignment.

Alkaid smiles gently at Aymeric's declaration. She leans down and kisses his forehead. Her nose brushes along his bangs, but she does stop holding him down. Not yet. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Perhaps it is for the best, because as soon as Aymeric stills, Thordan seizes his chance. A chilling laugh bursts forth from Aymeric's lips, and again, the primal uses him to speak. ]

Do you think you have won? Your words are not enough to forestall me.

[ Alkaid's kiss on his forehead dimly registers, but with Thordan fighting against the forced separation, Aymeric cannot do anything to react to it. The gap between Aymeric and Thordan continues to widen, and he is doing his best to push back and take hold of what is his, but the primal still is not making it easy. ]

Ishgard will fall, and her loss will be on your shoulders, my son. [ It is a desperate blow, and a low one, but Thordan will not make this parting easy for any of them. If they wish to separate them, then he will turn his attacks to Aymeric's heart and to his emotional state as well as his physical one. ] You have disappointed me greatly...

[ At any other time, Aymeric would have not reacted so strongly to those words, at least not in a way that anyone could see. He would contain his hurt inside, doing his best to compartmentalize it and contain it, but it would certainly take root.

Now, however, he has no such capacity for such a thing, and in response to Thordan's hurtful words, a despairing cry escapes him. The knowledge that he has disappointed his father, or the image of him, does not cut as much as the fear that Ishgard will be lost because of him.

Clearly, that is what has hurt Aymeric most, but even as he shakes with that fear, he has just one thing that he can say, helped along by the aether that Alisaie is channeling into him: ]

You are not... You are not him. [ Thordan's rage continues to fall, but Aymeric remains resolute on this one topic to the point that it does not occur to him that Alisaie is here and will hear this exchange. But it is no secret who his father is, even if others not from Ishgard might be unaware. ] You are not my father.

[ It is not a striking difference, as neither his father nor the primal truly cared for Aymeric's well-being, but slowly, Aymeric is being forced to confront the fact that this primal is not the man who was, at least by blood, his father. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Part of her wishes that this battle was not witnessed by Alisaie. It is upsetting enough to Alkaid, let alone to the younger Elezen. She flinches for Aymeric at the attack given to him. Ishgard is perhaps the most precious thing to the Lord Speaker, and the easiest point to strike him at. His cry further demonstrates it. She shuts her eyes tightly for a moment with her ears lowering.

After his declaration that is truly more of a revelation, Alkaid lifts her head from his. She gently tilts his head so he might look at her. ]

Aymeric. [ Her tone is quick and sharp, demanding his attention as if he were once again a soldier on the field. Once she has his attention--and perhaps the primal's--her ears raise and a gentle look of determination sets on her face. ] Ishgard will not fall. Her people will not let the peace you have led them to slip from their hands. They've made comrades with those of the Alliance, and of the dragons. If, for some reason, they are unable? Then, I will protect her and her people from anyone who might harm that peace. Including King Thordan and his Knights Twelve. I will bring us home.

[ Her eyes narrow in a sense of fierce determination. They have stopped King Thordan once and they will again. They stopped the Ascians from creating the next Calamity. She has studied offensive magic in her time away, and her sister has learned a physical way to fight. They will save Ishgard.

Home.

Her eyes widen only slightly as she feels a presence she knows none in the room will see or sense. A hand on her shoulder, giving a reaffirming squeeze that the sisters will not see this tragedy fixed on their own. A promise under the unending light filled sky that the sisters would not be alone and he would see them through the hardest battles to come.

Now even more resolute in her path, Alkaid leans down once more to kiss Aymeric. It is gentle in case he must twist or turn more, but she hopes it will give him the last push he needs to push King Thordan from him. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Aymeric's eyes snap to Alkaid's when she calls to him, the sharpness in her tone drawing his attention even as the primal tries desperately to keep its claws firmly buried in him to draw him back. By now, Aymeric is little more than a pawn that the primal wishes to use, not caring for the man himself or how useful he might turn out to be. And if it turns out that neither of them can have him, well, the primal is not overly concerned about that either.

Another cry, quieter and weaker than the last, escapes Aymeric as the primal takes hold of him again, trying to force him to speak words that do not belong to him. Although Alisaie is making progress, the primal is not willing to relinquish its hold on Aymeric so easily, and it is taking quite the toll on him.

But as weak as Aymeric is, his will to no longer be used as the primal's mouthpiece is stronger than one might expect, and although King Thordan does his best to force him to comply, he clenches down as hard as he can, the muscles in his jaw standing out as he strains to prevent the imitation of his father from using his voice.

Even so, the struggle is clear as Aymeric curls in on himself, weak gasps for air escaping him as the primal continues his attack.

His hands reach out again, groping blindly for Alkaid's and searching for the comfort and strength that her presence offers him. He has very little strength left, and although she too is battered and tired, she grounds him and provides a counter to the pain Thordan is pressing upon him.

He only wants this enthrallment to end, for the hurt and the fear to pass, but King Thordan is doing everything he can to prevent that outcome from turning to reality.

He finally registers the kiss Alkaid presses against him, and the gentle gesture acts as a balm for the hurt that he is struggling against. A cry tears from him yet again, and inside, it feels as though the forced bond between himself and the primal has been severed, leaving a raw wound behind. He might not realize it, but this signifies that his aether that the primal held in thrall has finally broken free and is beginning to return to how it should be.

Alisaie's guidance is still needed, of course, but progress has been made. Still, he can do little more than slump limply against Alkaid and the pillows helping prop him up. Inside, however, his mind is desperately reaching for the memories and experiences that form his story and his life, the ones that the primal had drowned out and flooded with a single-minded, fanatical devotion.

They are within arm's reach, but does he have the strength to reclaim them? ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her fingers brush along his cheeks to try and soothe the tension that clearly has formed in his neck. She presses another kiss to his forehead, at a loss of what to do for him in that moment. She cannot add her aether into Alisaie's spell for it may affect it. Perhaps her presence is not as helpful as she had once believed. Her hands find his that reach out for her, fingers sliding between his perfectly and folding them to her heart. Her nose brushes along his to try and soothe him further. ]

Alkaid, [ Alisaie's voice is soft so she does not disturb the man that Angelo continues to deliver the magically charged aether into. ] His aether is no longer charged to the element aligned with King Thordan. Now, we must remind him of enough moments that will set his memories properly in motion.

[ She turns her gaze from Alisaie back to Aymeric as he rests against the pillows but leans against her as well. Alkaid's ears flatten ever so slightly and presses another kiss to his forehead. Her fingers brush against his as she wonders where to start. What might be the most important ones? ]

Aymeric, dear. [ This time his name is said softly, her head tilting and waiting for his eyes to meet hers once more. Her tail gently sways at her side once he does and she manages another smile for him. Then, she guides their joined hands to her lips and presses a kiss to them. ] Do you remember how we first met, in Camp Dragonhead? You wanted the aid of the Scions in taking care of a matter with the heretics, which Alphinaud was more than ready to volunteer Thisru and I for. Lucia was there as well, but she seemed far more colder than you, despite what others might have said around the camp.

[ She blushes, despite the situation, at recalling how she felt the first time she saw Aymeric. While she has told him a handful of times how she felt? She has always kept to herself how she wonders if maybe, possibly, it was love at first sight. Perhaps not for him, of course, as so many matters had to be addressed. He had but read of the Warriors of Light exploits. No doubt that lead to a certain admiration and sense of awe. Yet, even then, Alkaid feels as if she was the one utterly smitten when they met eyes for the first time. Aymeric knows, through her sharing of her side of events, how distracted she was from the meeting by simply his presence and voice. She has never truly shared how her heart felt light and as if it may quicken so fast she might faint. He could of asked anything of her in that first meeting and she would of jumped to her feet to do it.

Not much has truly changed in that regard. ]

Although, I can't recall much of what was discussed in details. A certain Lord Commander was doing his utmost to distract me without him even realizing. [ Her eyes drift to the side as she wonders what to recall next. ] Then, House Foretemps took us in when they framed the Scions for the murder of the Sultana. One that was staged and very well false, thank the Gods. I admit that, despite the situation at hand, I had hoped it would mean that I might be able to meet with you more than outside of official business and get to know you...

[ She most certainly knew by their arrival in Ishgard that she had more than a fancy for the Lord Commander. However, she is a Warrior of Light, and she had rather doubted he might be interested in her beyond her titles and achievements she shares with her sister. How very wrong she was. ]

Estinien and Alphinaud worked out a plan to go and slay Nidhogg to advert more disaster. I had never noticed how much Estinien cared for you until that conversation. I had the feeling he wished to do it not for only Ishgard, and his revenge, but to keep the man he saw as brother from having to fight for his life in Ishgard. Though, maybe he didn't realize it at the time...

[ She glances to Alisaie who nods for her to continue. Alkaid blushes more, looking down at her fingers. No one save her sister has heard of their private moments. While Alisaie would not tell a soul, she feel her cheeks grow warmer and her ears stand up slightly at the idea of it. ]

... do you remember the first time we spoke as ourselves, and not just as our respected titles? [ She most certainly does. A conversation that she had only intended to end with an invitation to meet the Moogles of Moghome. Somehow, it had led to a walk to his favorite place, and their first kiss. Her cheeks feel as if they might be burning from how hard she is blushing. ] You took me to your favorite place in all of Ishgard; where no one else might see everything that churns in your mind and heart underneath the armor you wear...

[thewayforpeace]

[ The power of speech continues to fail him, only this time, it is not because of the primal preventing him from talking as he will. Instead, it is his exhaustion and weakness that is keeping him silent.

But in his mind, he all but cries out for her, wanting to tell her that she is helping him and has done so this entire time. Lantaa...

His eyelids are heavy and it takes a concerted effort for them to open, but they slowly slide open once more, the unnaturally bright glow of tempering having faded from his eyes. They slide over to meet hers, and contained in them is a pleading look, as if begging her to hear what he cannot give voice to at the moment.

As always, as her fingers brush against his cheeks, he feels nothing but comfort sweep over him in response to her touch. All she has to do is touch him, or speak to him, and he feels a sense of calm wash over him again. Even when his mind or his heart torments him with past guilt and regret, her touch and her voice is enough to soothe him again.

Now, he still can barely move, but as Alkaid continues relaying her versions of key moments in their shared story so far, he tries to summon the will to lift his arm. He can barely manage it, and his entire arm shakes with the effort, but he manages to both lift it and extend his fingers so that they lightly graze against her face.

Her words wash over him, and little by little, with each word, memories of each encounter she speaks of form themselves in his mind's eye, bringing to mind words that were said, moves that he made, and sensations that he felt.

I remember... His mind still feels shrouded by fog, but as Alkaid speaks, more of the fog seems to recede, being replaced by vivid snapshots from his life.

And as the fog rolls back, his vision grows clearer too, and it is as though he is seeing her for the first time. He sees the flush of red on her cheeks, and although he has not the strength to voice a proper reply, he tightens his fingers against hers with as much strength as he can manage. It is not much, but he is trying to let her know that he is listening to every word she says. And with each one, more of his memories come back to life and the pieces of him that were suppressed by the primal's influence come flooding back as well.

He reacts to each story that she tells, his frame tensing when she recounts how the Scions were framed, and again when she mentions Nidhogg and the plan that Estinien and Alphinaud formed. But when she mentions the talk they had as themselves, the first time that both of them put down their mantles and spoke together as people, his body relaxes again and a sigh escapes him unbidden.

She speaks of a moment that had been permanently emblazoned in his mind until King Thordan saw fit to take it, and everything else away, but now that he hears her retelling it, it bursts back into his mind in full detail.

And though speech is still difficult, there is only one thing he needs to say. If he were more in control of his mental faculties, he might remember that she told him her true name in confidence, and that perhaps it is not his place to reveal it, but his mind has zeroed in on one thing only, and so he says: ]

Lantaa... [ His voice feels strained and must sound even worse after his long struggle, but he continues regardless. ]

I- I love you.

[ And then he reflexively tenses as if waiting for Thordan's wrath to fall on him, but as seconds turn into minutes, nothing happens and he slowly relaxes once more. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ She pauses in her recounting once his eyes open. She holds her breath, expecting to see the unnatural glow that does not belong to him. Instead she is greeted by his natural sky-blue eyes. Her ears lift entirely along with the tip of her tail. For the first time in days, a true smile breaks out on her face. She leans her cheek into his touch to make the small but welcomed notion easier for him to act out. ]

Hello, my knight.

[ The tail curled at her side sways gently side to side at the first sight of Aymeric she has seen since this ordeal began. He has, of course, surfaced in notions, actions and words, but now it is clearly he is returned to himself to some degree.

She goes to speak once more, intending to remind him of the meetings with dragons and how it led to their relationship. How Estinien was saved from Nidhogg, and their first Starlight Celebration together. No of those words surface. Her mind comes to a stop the moment he says her name, ears still standing on end, hands threaded with his. Then, the smile fades into a look of surprise. Tears once again gather in her eyes, but this time, they do spill down her cheeks. A part of her was convinced she might never hear him say those words again.

Apologies will be given to Alisaie at the display later. Alkaid moves to be closer to him, tilting her head to kiss him once more. It still remains gentle. She wishes to give him the kisses she might normally, but it is plain to see he is weak and they do have company. ]

And I love you. I would have not said yes to your proposal otherwise. [ An affectionate nudge is given to his cheek once more as her tail continues to sway. A glance is sent to Alisaie, who nods and smiles encouragingly, yet also with exhaustion. ] My lord knight who loves his homeland so dearly he was ready to do anything it took to save her. Even if it meant bringing down all the foundations it had stood upon in order to reveal the truth.

[ Another kiss is placed on his cheek. What else can she say? She feels as if there is nothing else to share with present company. another glance is sent to Alisaie who lowers her hand and looks to Angelo. The fatigue is quite clear on the young Elezen's face, but, the determination has not left. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ The sight of her smile causes a warmth to descend over him and for the first time in so many days, his heart practically pounds out of his chest because of the love he has for her. The primal tried to destroy it along with everything else that made him who he is, but it never went away, not even when he was at his weakest or at his most unkind.

He wishes to sit up so that he might kiss her, or hold her, but clearly it is too soon for him to even attempt moving, no matter how much he desires to be as close to her as he can.

Still, with his arm outstretched, he does not have to reach too far for his hand to brush against her face, wiping away the tears that have begun to fall. As before, her words wash over him and he derives comfort and reassurance and love from each one.

But even if it saps what remains of his strength, he has more he must say. ]

I have to apologize for all that I have put you through. [ His breath hitches in the middle of that sentence, as a reminder that it was not long ago at all that he could barely speak.

And although the movement is slow and barely perceptible, he turns his head to look in Alisaie's direction, because he must tell her something as well. ]

... Thank you.

[ Those few actions and words have now left him drained, but he fights to keep his eyes open because he does not wish to look away from either Alisaie, who has helped save him, or Alkaid, who has stayed by his side this entire time.

If he had the strength for it, he would lift a hand in Alisaie's direction, so that he might take hold of hers in a grateful gesture, but since he does not, he hopes that the look in his eyes is telling enough. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Alkaid tilts her head into his hand to make the notion easier. Her eyes slip shut for only a moment as the all too familiar feeling of love swells in her chest. She missed him, his touch, the look in his eyes so very much. A fresh wave of tears forms in her eyes at the very thought of it all. Yet, she does not let them fall this time.

Another kiss is given to his cheek. She shakes her head. ] No. You have nothing to apologize for.

[ She rests her head against with her eyes remaining closed. The exhaustion of it all weighs on her shoulders and feels oh so heavy then. It surely is nothing compared to the exhaustion that her knight feels, and thus she does not make any notion to it.

Alisaie shakes her head. ] Please, think nothing of it... I'm certain the others would feel the same way. Although, I'll be sure to pass your thanks to the others.

[ Then, the young Elezen leans against the bed and Angelo disappears in a light. Alkaid's ears perk up at the sudden sound. She squeezes Aymeric's hand she still holds in order to reassure him she will return. In a moment she has crawled over to Alisaie to inspect her. ]

Oh, please, Alkaid. I'm fine. You have someone else that requires your attention more! [ Alisaie fusses almost as if she were a child. Alkaid makes a face at her before sliding off the bed to help her to the door at least. Alisaie turns her head up to look at the Warrior of Light as she opens the door. ] Although, I do insist that you inform us of Ser Aymeric's recovery. We are keeping a close eye on Ga Bu...

Of course. The moment something changes, I will make certain to tell you. [ Her eyes move to the tired lot in the sitting room.

A bright smile is offered to them as she helps Alisaie to sit down. She catches Estinien's gaze as he leans against the wall and motions for her to return to Aymeric. The four of them would be fine looking out for one another. With one long look at the four of them, Alkaid pulls her sister and the twins into a tight embrace. Her face presses to the side of K'thisru's head and mumbles a simple "thank you" to all of them. Anything more and she might find herself falling apart then and there.

With reassurances made, and a promise to report after she herself gets some rest, Alkaid returns to the bedroom. She removes the long night robe she wore over the borrowed easy breathing nightgown. It is shorter and made of lighter fabric than anything she would wear in Ishgard, but they are still far from home.

Alkaid returns to his side just as she had promised, gently sitting on the bed with her hand moving towards his once more. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Attempting to apologize to her, and to give his thanks to Alisaie were the two main priorities that he wished to see to before anything else could happen, and now that they have, he finds himself having to fight off the waves of exhaustion that are threatening to pull him under. But now, he has a rising sense of guilt to contend with, because they have all gone through so much trouble because of him, and he doubts he will ever be able to repay them.

But for the moment, he just lies there watching both Alkaid and Alisaie as they converse and as Alkaid moves over to see if the young Elezen needs assistance. His eyelids are growing heavier once more, but he fights to keep them open because he does not wish to be parted from them and from the waking world just yet.

The squeeze of his hand that Alkaid gives him is appreciated, because a selfish part of him wants her to remain by his side, but he has already concluded that perhaps she should sleep in another room that she might be able to rest undisturbed. Surely having to assist him has worn her out, and in his mind, she needs a reprieve as well.

But before too long, the woman he loves more than anything returns, and he continues fighting off the sleep that is calling him. ]

Estinien, Alphinaud... Your sister. [ Obviously, he has not been outside this room so he should not know who is in the sitting room, but he dimly recalls hearing voices coming from that direction and his mind filled in the gaps for him. It makes sense that Alphinaud and K'thisru would be here to support their siblings, and of course, Estinien has been a constant presence.

His words are hushed, and more mumbled than anything else, but stringing sentences together is proving difficult for him at the moment. ]

Are they well?

[ He has something else he wishes to ask, something that is beginning to pull on his mind and heart, but even as he tries to communicate with her, his eyes begin sliding shut as if saying that he can no longer stay awake. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Alkaid would certainly tell him that his conclusion is wrong. She has already decided upon the fact she will remain with him. Her sleep had rarely been undisturbed since her return from the First, and usually by her own mind. If she had a choice? She would rather be beside him even if she wakes in the middle of the night. They have already been apart for far too long. Seeing the lives led on the First... how lonely so many of them were? It instilled a resolve to do better by the man she calls her mate.

Even if all she can see are her precieved failures.

Alkaid changes her approach the moment she sees how he leans into the pillows once more for sleep. She guides him to lay down once more and to be comfortable. The blankets are pulled over him once more and she takes her seat beside him. Her hand reaches out to brush his bangs from his face once more. ]

Yes, they came to assist Alisaie. [ A smile is given, even if it is rather small. ] Estinien has kept watch this whole time... I wonder if he might nap on one of the couches.

[ She attempts to be humorous for him in the meantime. It distracts her from the sudden fear of him falling asleep to only wake and be in a state as he has been. She wishes nothing more than to curl against him entirely and disappear into his hold, feeling as if they are one being. Of course, they are not, and their souls are very distinct. That does not change the fact that she feels as if a part of her is missing when they are so very far away from one another. That can wait, she tells herself, until he can keep awake. ]

Exhausted it seems, but happy and well, yes.

[thewayforpeace]

[ If all she can see are her failures, then they make quite a pair, because he can only see his and the fears that he has that have only been exacerbated by this whole ordeal.

But as is typical for him, he tries to push away his fears long enough to focus on her, because part of him worries about her and if she is well; because after being by his side through all this, he imagines that she must be wrestling with her own difficulties too. He cannot help but feel as though he would be a poor partner indeed if he did not try to help her as much as she has helped him. Never mind that he is barely in a position to help anyone, but it seems that even now, he cannot dislodge that selfless inclination to put others above himself. ]

And what about you? You must need rest as well, perhaps even more than I do.

[ Strangely enough, he finds himself capable of more speech when it relates to her, and he adds: ] Surely someone could find another bed for you to rest upon now that the- Now that this ordeal is over.

[ He finds it difficult to speak of Thordan, of the man who was his father and of the primal as well, and that difficulty shows itself in how he corrects himself.

But in spite of himself and his insistence that her need is greater, when she guides him to lie down and pulls the blankets over him, his reaction is immediate. Even the soothing way she brushes back his bangs does little to relax him this time. Tension grips his frame and again, he reaches out for her, his sudden desperation clear in the movement.

Where there was exhaustion just moments before, now there is open and unbridled fear. It is good to know that the others in the sitting room are well, all things considered, but something else has taken hold of him and his eyes widen as he struggles against it.

But she has given him no reason to fear what his mind is telling him is a possibility, and so he desperately tries to will himself to settle back down again. Even so, he tells himself that at some point, he will have to rely less on her support when his fears grip him because she will not always be there when that happens, and with that thought in mind, the hand that is reaching for her pauses but remains outstretched. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ A gentle look takes her face at his concerns for her. As always, it is touching and endearing. She feels he is truly one of the few on the star that care for her state of being as herself and not just the Warrior of Light. Though, she wonders if sometimes, his care for her is an attempt to keep her away from a side he does not wish any to see.

She moves to answer his question once he is settled in bed, but his sudden movements cause her to freeze and her ears stand on end.

Her poor knight.

Alkaid moves to rest beside him, even if she is still atop the blankets. Then, she once again directs him to lay down beside her. Her hands then move his to her frame so he might hold her and find that she will not be moving. A gentle kiss goes to his forehead. ]

My beloved knight. Why would I go anywhere else? This is where I belong. And... besides... [ Her gaze falls as her voice quiets, ] ...with how much time I spend away... why would I wish to be in another bed when I am with you?

[thewayforpeace]

[ In a way, it is as she said. By focusing on others, he can deflect attention away from himself and the things he wishes to keep to himself, because he still believes that his weaknesses and frailties are unbecoming of a Lord Speaker.

When his fear takes hold of him and she moves to lie beside him, he moves as well, pressing himself against her, desperately seeking her comfort. His hands wrap lightly around her and whether it is unbecoming of him or not, he all but melts against her.

He knows she can hear the churning emotions in his voice as he tries fighting off his exhaustion long enough to give her a proper answer. He does want only to sleep, but this conversation between them is far too important to forestall for a later time. Or at least, that is his belief. ]

Have I not caused you nothing but trouble and heartache since our paths first crossed? [ He knows that there have been moments of joy and happiness, but in the wake of everything that has happened with his tempering and everything she was forced to witness, he cannot help but feel that he has treated her quite poorly indeed. ]

I would not blame you in the least if you decided that now was the time to take your leave.

[ His hands shake as his fear of losing her only grows. He is, in a word, terrified that he will fall asleep and wake again only to find her gone forever, leaving the ring he gave her behind as the only reminder of their relationship. ]

Do you truly wish to stay? [ He feels like a fool for asking that question, as he is certain she might feel obligated to respond in a certain way, but he is still in a vulnerable state, one that has rendered him needing extra reassurance that he will not be left alone again. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her hands move to hold his face between hers, fingers brushing the extra strands of hair behind his ears. Instead of shunning him like he perhaps expects, Alkaid offers him what soothing she could give. The tips of her fingers then move to the hair at the back of his head. They move up and down the tension lines that always form at his neck. ]

Aymeric, my love. You have given me a place to call home when I had feared that I would have to return to my clan. And, you have given me the most precious of gifts. [ She tilts his head up turn his gaze to hers. Then, she kisses him once more. It is a deep kiss, perhaps not as intimate or deep as she might normal, but the exhaustion is clear on his body and she would not push him further. She then kisses the corner of his mouth. Then, her fingers move to take one of his hands and place it over her heart. ] Not only have you done all of that for me, but you protect and shield something that no one else could.

Please, [ her nose presses to his cheek to silence any protest that might come, ] before you believe that you have done nothing but hurt me? I would take a thousand wounds on my heart if it meant keeping you with me.

[ Another kiss, this time lighter, is pressed on his lips. ] I will not leave you simply because you came under attack. I will not leave you because you are wounded, or of broken heart, or lost and uncertain of your path forward. I accepted your proposal and promised to be your wife.

[ Her two-toned eyes lock onto his sky-blue ones. ] Aymeric de Borel. You are not only the love of my life, but my mate. I... I realize that may not hold the weight in Ishgardian culture as it would for a Miqo'te, but... [ her heart pounds as tears gather in her eyes. ] I have only ever wanted one mate, one I might call my husband. One that I would call my own; one not shared with any other.

[ A smile touches her face as the water continues to gather in her eyes. ] Why would I ever walk away from you? You have stumbled, my beloved knight, but you have not fallen so hard you cannot rise again and continue forward. You have lead Ishgard to safety once and you will do so again. And, I will be at your side, as I was before.

[thewayforpeace]

[ His emotions are perilously close to breaking through his fragile shields, shields that are barely functioning after having been repeatedly battered until they crack. But her touch always gives him comfort and soothes his hurt, and that is no different this time. It does, however, undo the little control he has managed to regain, and as her fingers brush against the thin strands of hair by his ears and then move to massage the lines of tension in his neck, his eyes slide closed and his head lowers a few notches.

When next he speaks, his voice is lower and all but choked with emotion. ]

You have always called me your love, or your knight... [ He has never commented on her use of names for him, but these observations slip out unexpectedly. ] How can you... [ He pauses here, searching for the right words to complete his question, but before he can, she completes it for him in no uncertain terms.

The shaking in his hands travels to his whole body as the realization of how deeply she loves him washes over him.

Although he does not comment upon each word that she has said, when his eyes open once more and lock upon hers as well, there is a look of understanding but also wonder that she could love him as much as she does.

And then she goes on to say that she will not be leaving him, and at those words, tears form in his eyes unbidden and spill down his cheeks before he can even think about trying to hold them back. ]

What have I done to deserve you and your love? [ He speaks through his tears and then forces himself to push past his exhaustion so that he can lean up to brush a kiss, the most he can manage, against her mouth. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ She does not answer within the moment. Instead, she waits for him to work through the emotions he has always kept so c lose to his heart. After all, she is far from the best at expressing herself and her own emotions. She feels as if the details she has given him are still lacking to truly express her emotions. Although, a worry forms inside her that perhaps he no longer wishes her to call him by such names.

Her hands move to cup his face once more. Thumbs brush away the tears running down his face as she smiles for him. It is still lined in sadness, given the context in which their conversation must take place in. Her forehead presses to his as she never once breaks their gaze. ]

You are you. You need not be anything else. [ The kiss is returned just as light, even if she wishes to do nothing more than kiss him as she might normal. ] The love you have for your people and your city, the care you have for your fellow man. I can only imagine it was born from loneliness; a feeling I wish I could cleanse your heart of. [ She nearly mentions how she has loved him since the moment she saw him once more, but manages to stop herself at the last second. ] I know that it must seem that who you are has been lost amidst this battle of your mind, but, I have all the faith that it will all come back and settle where it ought to be.

[ Alkaid gently nuzzles her nose to his, then her tone turns to a softer and more vulnerable one. ] I always thought you found a sense of joy from the terms... would you rather I not...?

[thewayforpeace]

[ His shoulders sag as the exhaustion he has been trying to outrun begins to pull him down. His eyes slide closed again as her thumbs gently brush away his tears, but in spite of himself, a few more escape and slide down his face. ]

I... I do not understand how you can be so forgiving and kind. [ He shakes his head once, as if he already has the answer to it. But his words come slower as his exhaustion only grows. ] It is not.. Not because you are the Warrior of Light, but because it is who you are.

[ His posture seems to change then, curling inward once again as his doubts seem to rise. ] I am not deserving.

[ But in spite of himself, he rises as best as he can, leaning into the kiss as if he wordlessly craves it and all the love she can give him. When she nuzzles her nose against his, he almost smiles, but it is a pale imitation of his usual one. ]

I- I do. Please, keep using them.

[ And having said that, he sags back to rest against the pillows, having finally exhausted what little strength he had. ]