echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

[dragonssung]

song of hope

BOOK 3.5: EVER HEAVENSWARD

Tales of loss and fire and faith
Every word on our hearts engraved
In the dark you will not stray
Forge ahead, till the end, we prayCODE BY TESSISAMESS

Comments

[thewayforpeace]

[ Even though so much of Thordan's rage still continues to churn within him and is still driving him to continue his futile fight against the chains holding him in place, another part of him wants nothing more than to cease this struggle and just rest. Alkaid's healing has helped, but his prolonged desperate thrashing is still taking a toll on him.

As if he senses this, Thordan resumes his efforts to rally Aymeric and jolt him back to a more alert state.

Who else but you can lead the charge, Aymeric? None other but you has the strength and the will to do what must be done, that Ishgard will finally see peace. You must keep fighting, or this warrior, this slayer of primals, will see that our goals are never met.

The clash of Thordan's words and Alkaid's causes Aymeric to feel as though he is being pulled first to one side, then the other, and he does not know whose voice he ought to heed. In spite of what his true self might want, his aether is being pulled increasingly more into alignment with Thordan's, and with it, his will is beginning to dwindle even further.

The glowing in his eyes seems to grow even brighter as Thordan's hold on him grows stronger, but even then, Aymeric's struggles do not end.

He opens his mouth as if he wishes to speak, perhaps to further express how much he wishes to fight for Ishgard, to defend the city that he loves so much, and to not be anyone's puppet, not even Thordan's. But his will is just as ensnared as his aether, and he cannot form those words.

Instead, a wordless, despairing moan escapes him, and although Thordan cannot directly address Alkaid, he forces Aymeric to speak for him. ]

You speak as if you know my father's thoughts.

[ As before, Aymeric's tone is hard and cold, but it is Thordan forcing Aymeric's speech, not allowing him to choose his own words. And even now, he still thinks of the God-King as his father, or perhaps that is the primal's influence causing his words to further turn. ]

Sacrifices are always required in times of war, and the great, as well as the small, are needed.

[ But now that it seems as though Aymeric's will to fight back has been overpowered by Thordan's, the God-King sees little reason to continue taxing him in such a way, going against his earlier attempt to urge his son to continue the fight. And while agreeing with the accursed Warrior of Light is not something he wishes to do, there truly is no need to foolishly waste the value Aymeric brings to the table by injuring him to the point that he can no longer move.

Now he just has to wait for an opportunity to open, for either Alkaid or Estinien to lower their guard, and perhaps an escape attempt can be made. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ At his moan, the hand that held him close to her raises to gently stroke his hair once more. The other remains at his wrist in an attempt to keep healing the wound caused by the pressing metal. She is certain most would say it is all for naught -- most of the Scions included. Yet, she will not have it said she abandoned her love when he needed her most. Even if.... even if they fail to save him? She will be there the entire time, even to when his soul returns to the aetheric sea. ]

How can I not have an inkling of them? It was he who first wished to use what the Ascians taught him to fulfill his own goals. It was he who did not let any stand in his way, whether the be Scion, Temple Knight, Ascian, or even his own son.

Had he cared for the state you were in? He would not have let them take you to the Vault. He would not be forcing you to press so hard that you draw blood.

[ She gently leans her head against his and continues to brush her fingers through his hair. While she hopes above all hope that they will save him? A part of her knows this may be the last time she might make such a motion. It causes the invisible dagger in her heart to sink just a hair deeper and her eyes to shut tightly to avoid any tears from forming. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ For just a moment, in spite of the protests coming from Thordan, who still disapproves of any interaction between his son and the Warrior of Light, Aymeric just stills and just rests there limply in the chains binding him to the wall. The fight seems to have gone out of him now, and it seems to take considerable effort for him to find the strength to answer her, and in the end, he has no words.

Even Thordan attempts to force Aymeric to be his mouthpiece seem to fail. For just a moment, Aymeric's eyes close yet again and after a moment or two, they open once more and when they do, the bright glow in them has faded back to their normal color.

His shoulders drop as the weakness he feels crashes back down on him, but he can finally see her as her: the woman he has fallen in love with. With no small amount of effort, he strains to raise his head so that he might look her in the eyes. ]

... Lantaa?

[ His voice is low, and even as he speaks her name, he feels himself having to fight to hold onto consciousness.

He is still unable to move his hands beyond the small amount of give the chains have, but the stinging in his wrists reminds him of the damage his desperate struggles have already done, even with her efforts to heal.

It is almost as though he knows this may be their last moment together with him still retaining his sense of self, and if it truly is, then he wants to at least say goodbye. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ She continues her ministrations despite it all. One hand soothing his hair, the other healing. What else can she do? Even the Blessing of Light cannot break tempering, merely prevent her and her sister from it. Until they can find a cure... if Alisaie's idea truly works...

The sound of her name makes her eqrs lift just a bit. Not just her name, but how he says it as well. The hand in his hair moves to the side of his head to help suport him once he looks at her. Her other hand moves from his wrist to his hand proper, fingers sliding to hold his once again.

Alkaid forces a smile for him. He has seen her come undone and cry far too many times already. She will not break now, when he needs her as both herself and the Warrior of Light. Her forehead rests to his ever so gently, eyes locked on his. She hopes he might see the love she has for him even if she has never been able to express it properly. ]

Hello, my brave knight. [ That invisible dagger edges just slightly deeper. ] What can I do to help you, my love? Even if it is simply being here with you through it all. I will see it done.

[ Her tail, despite it all, sways gently beside her as if to help illustrate her point and how much she loves him. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ His head turns slightly to lean into her touch, because as always, the touch of her hand is comforting, and while a part of him feels selfish for wanting that comfort, he finds himself needing it now in this moment more than ever.

The first thing he says in reply is an apology. ] I am sorry that you must be here to witness this. [ He remembers offering an apology once before, but he feels as though he has to do so again. ]

I- I have no need for anything from you, because you have given so much to me already.

[ But he has one thing he wishes to tell her, so he tightens his fingers against hers as best as he can, and then he says: ] I want you to know that no matter what happens, no matter how this ends, that I love you.

[ He manages a smile for her, the biggest smile that he can give. ] I will always love you.

[ Even if he leaves this star, he wants to make that plain, in hopes that it will give her comfort if he does not return from this.

And then he pushes himself forward just a little so that he might brush his lips against hers, but he wishes to kiss her once more, so the effort is worth it in his mind. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ His apology is met with a slight shake of her head. There is no need for it. She is a healer and would see anyone in various states... even more so with their adventures away with the Crystal Exarch. ]

No, it is for the best I am here. You should not face this alone. No one ever should. [ She presses her forehead to his and offers a smile once again. ] And I love you. Now and always.

[ She is certain that even once her soul returns to the aetheric sea and is reborn? She would seek his out. No matter where or who they might be next. She cannot imagine loving another soul other than his.

The smile falters for a moment as her breath catches in her throat. One would need to oblivious to how Aymeric is to not understand what he is trying to say. Still, she forces her smile wider and tears gather in the corner of her eyes as she meets his kiss. It is a gentle and tender one, trying to put all of the love she feels in a tangible form for him to feel.

Even when it ends, she keeps herself as close as she was. Her tail sways faster, venting out the emotions she is trying to contain for his sake. ]

Alisaie believes she has found the start of a cure. I know the others are looking into it as we speak--we'll find a way to save you; to save everyone in Ishgard and anyone else from other primals. I know we will ... I promise we will.

[thewayforpeace]

[ If only he could reach for her and pull her into a proper hug, that he might pour all of his feelings and emotions into that one gesture. He has not said as much to her, but he feels as though this will be his last chance to convey to her the care and love he has for her. And if it were up to him, he would stay with her. But if his fate is to be tempered, controlled by a warped version of his father, he would sooner have his life ended. Not that he would ask her to carry out the deed; he would never place that burden upon her shoulders, along with all the others that she has carried and will carry in the future. ]

But it is not safe for you to remain. [ He also shakes his head carefully, not wishing to dislodge her hands or to pull away from her. ] At any time, I could lose control of myself, and there is no telling what will happen. You are far too important to be risked in such a way, Lantaa.

[ His emotions are rising, threatening to choke him, but he presses on. He leans into the kiss to the best of his ability, but when the kiss ends, he continues speaking, all the urgency he can manage clear in his voice. ]

This cure must be used to save Ishgard and all who have been tempered. [ For just a moment, his eyes slide closed as his emotions sweep over him. Though he does not say it, he believes that the cure will work- it must. But he fears that the hold the primal has on him is far too strong for it to do the same for him.

When his eyes open once more, they are clear, and his resolve is plain to be seen. ]

If I could be present for this fight, to lend what help I could, I would.

[ And he remembers then something he once said to her: that the salvation of Ishgard does not rest in his hands, but in the hands of others. And now that seems clearer to him than ever before. ]

You and the Scions will save Ishgard once again. I have no doubt of it.

[ Whether he is saved (an outcome he finds highly unlikely) or whether he is lost for good, he is certain that they will do everything in their power to reverse what has been done.

His only regret is that he lacks the strength to work alongside them to that end. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Even if he has asked her to carry out the deed? She knows she could not. For all those that she and her sister have defeated and the soldiers that have perished through their actions? She could not put his to an end. Perhaps that might make her weak in the eyes of others. Yet, in the end, Aymeric is her betrothed. Her mate--even if she has never said as much in person to him.

She bites her lip at his statement. She would not have their last moments together be that of an argument. Yet, she wishes him to clearly understand this one moment. While she has ever had the struggle of expressing herself clearly? She must do what she can now. ]

No place is safe for me or Thisru to remain. We run into danger so that others might be spared it. Even then... [ She closes her eyes and forces her tears down. Then, they open to meet his again. ] Everyone has only ever seen how we are important to them. How we carry hope and help those rise up to fight... and while they are far from wrong... no one ever stops to consider what is important to us. Why we throw ourselves into danger, why we take the scars we do... you are all so concerned that we will be there to fight another day, and yet, and yet...

[ Her two-toned gaze drops for just a moment and her ears flatten to her head. ]

You and Thisru are what I love most on our star. If I were to lose either of you... stopping that from happening is worth any danger, any scar, any nightmare. I care for all on our star, but I love you. [ She presses her forehead to his and shuts her eyes. ] So, if I must do all my power to save you? I will. Even if you disagree, or come to hate me for this choice, I must do this.

[ She opens her eyes again to hold his gaze. ] You are the man I love, the one whose clan I wish to join. The one I've chosen for my mate: the one I wish to be with for the remaining days I will walk this star.

So, please, Aymeric. Please, trust in me, believe, have hope that I will find a way to bring you home to Ishgard. [ To me. ]

After all... we still have yet to plan our wedding.

[thewayforpeace]

[ The weight of what she says, and the conviction behind it, sweeps over him, and once again, his eyes slide closed. He is tired, more tired than he can ever recall being, and he wants nothing more than to finally allow sleep to claim him, to whatever end. But before he can do that, he must respond to her one more time. But this time, when his eyes open, his vision swims and what he can see of her is dim, as if his sight is beginning to fade.

He fears that this time, when his senses flee from him, what will awaken in his place will not be him, but the version of him that has been wholly aligned with the will of Thordan, the god-king. Still, if that is so, he cannot let that happen without saying a final farewell. ]

I would never take your right to make your own decisions from you, and I understand full well how it must feel for you and your sister, to always be told about your importance, while everyone you encounter places such weight upon you both.

[ He feels a certain fogginess beginning to form in his mind, and he shakes his head, hoping to dislodge it and give himself a little more time to put his thoughts into words. ]

I can only speak for myself when I say that I- [ His breath catches in his chest, cutting his words off mid-sentence, but he does his best to continue. ] I could not stand to lose you or K'thisru both, and that is why I place so much importance on seeing you protected however possible. Your paths lead you into danger nearly every day, but that does not mean I wish to see you lost.

[ He hopes that she can understand him, that his words and meanings are clear. The fog that is swirling in his mind is muddling his thoughts and taking from him the usual clarity with which he speaks. ] I could never despise you for doing what I have always resolved to do for you since the beginning.

[ Namely that if her life was in danger, he would do everything and anything that he could to save her.

His head tips downwards then, as if betraying the exhaustion that is pulling him down and away from her. But he is not finished just yet.

And perhaps it is a mark of how tired he feels that he says what he does. If he had not endured the prolonged struggle between his will and Thordan's, he might have reacted differently. But the fact remains that weariness has settled in, along with a sort of resignation for what seems to be an unavoidable fate. ]

Alas, if I could have seen you on that day. There is no doubt in my mind that you would have far surpassed even the fairest of all who walk on our star.

[ He knows that he should have hope, and believe in her, as she has pleaded with him, but he cannot help but feel that his time has begun to run its course. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Perhaps it is just as stubbornness, or the refusal to accept what is in front of her, but she still believes they will find a way to save all those who have been tempered. Something deep inside says they will--if only they believe and have hope a little longer. The pieces will align, and they will do something that even the Allagans could not.

She and K'thisru will never be lost, no matter how hopeless it may seem. Now, if only, she could have him see that of himself.

Her eyebrows knit together as the water fills more of her eyes. He has always protected the most important thing -- her heart. When all seemed lost in Norvrandt? The promise of marriage kept her going. When she felt homesick and a stranger in lands to the East? Writing letters to him saw her through the worst of her heartache. Once more that sense of insecurity grips her and she wonders if he might not cling to that promise the way she has.

She moves her bare shoulder so he might rest his head on it. If she can do nothing else for him? She wants to give him the memory and the experience of something soft and gentle. While she refuses to believe it will be the last time? Even she is not naive enough to know when next he wakes it will not be the man she loves. ]

You have protected me and given me the strength to continue on so many times. More than you could ever realize. You have protected the most important thing; something no one else could.

[ Her head tilts down to his again but the words she is to share stop short at what he says next. Everything seems to freeze in that very moment: her body, her breathing, her heart. Then, a beat passes, and her shoulders curl slightly despite him resting on one. The hand holding his tightens her grip and her tail stops moving. She does her best to swallow the lump of emotions that have formed in her throat.

A tear travels down the cheek faced away from him and her body shakes slightly.]

A-Aymeric... don't--please don't give up. Not now, not after everything. I won't let him win--he can't have you.

[ Not after saving Norvrandt from the brink. After her sister and her were pushed to their breaking points. After final being able to return home to him despite how broken and torn to pieces inside she'd become.

Alkaid shakes her head. ] He won't have you, or our home, or Ishgard. We'll be married ... even if the Holy See refuses... I'll even ask Tataru to make my dress and tailor your formal uniform. A-and we'll adopt any who may need a home... and fill our home in a way that would make your parents proud...

[ Alkaid turns her head more into his hair. She shuts her eyes as she struggles to keep from crying. ]

... don't stop fighting and leave me alone here...

[ She hopes he understands what she means. The Scions will remain, and her sister will as well, but there is a part of her that lives with him. A part that may shatter at best, or leave with him at worst. She understands the primal will win temporarily, but, she pleads to any of the Twelve that he will remain they can bring him home. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Although he knows that he should attempt answering everything she has just told him, words are failing him in this moment. He wishes that he could reach for her, to dry the tears that are forming in her eyes, in spite of how much she tries to hold them back. He wishes he could tell her that he has held onto the promise of their marriage with everything that he has, and even now, he still longs to stand beside her on their wedding day. But as things are at this moment, he fears that either he will remain tempered for the rest of his days, or that they will make the decision to finally put him down if the cure does not work. Still, he does not wish for fear to be the last thing he feels, so he does his best to fill up his mind with thoughts of her and how much he loves her.

Although he cannot find it in him to speak, he can at least rest with his head on her shoulder, drawing comfort and a feeling of being loved from the gesture. It is not a terrible way to go, falling asleep on her shoulder. I only regret that she has been forced into this position at all, and because of how easily I fell prey to a primal's temptations. At least his thoughts have some small amount of clarity remaining even if the power of speech has failed him.

But even then, his only regret is the fact that he must leave her. Her desperate plea that he not leave her alone sinks into his heart, bringing with it no small amount of guilt that he does not have the strength to answer: to promise her that he will come back, that they will go home to Ishgard together, and that he will not abandon her to live out the rest of her days alone. It takes a monumental effort just to move his fingers one final time, and even then, all he manages to do is lightly brush them against hers. It is far from a comforting gesture, but it is meant to be an assurance (however weak it is) that this will not be the end for either of them.

But as he drifts further from her, his mind's eye grants him a vision of the day he hopes he lives to see. He sees them on their wedding day, with her looking happy and beautiful in her dress, and him standing beside her, only having eyes for her. With his head still resting on her shoulder, a peaceful smile crosses his face. He meant to give her a last goodbye, but perhaps the actual words are not needed anymore.

He told her he loves her, and he knows that she feels the same for him, and those words may well be more important than anything else he could have said. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ A small spart of her had hoped that he would still answer her. Some last rallying set of words or declaration. It seems, however, he has already said all he can. She feels as if another jab has been given to her already wounded heart has been pressed in.

Alkaid moves her hand from his head to around his frame. Her face presses into his hair with her tail curling around her side, as if wrapping around him will help anchor him. Of course she knows better. So many have been put to the sword for mercy sake when they've become tempered. Holding onto someone cannot change the way aether works, no matter how kuch she wishes otherwise.

Her whole frame shakes as she forces herself to contain her emotions. A Warrior of Light need not show the world how broken they are--how much they hurt deep inside. She will not cry in front of him when he needs to understand the faith and hope she does have, despite the heartbreak threatening to pull her down. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Continued here! ]