And what does that make me? Only a summoner, not even much of a healer... At least you being a scholar means you have the patience to learn and study. [ Of course, she had to do some studying to become a summoner, but that's nothing compared to what healers and scholars have to learn. ]
If you were arrogant, then clearly I was too. [ Once. Or perhaps even now, she still is. But she's trying to grow and move past that.
As for what troubles her, she is having difficulty putting it into words. Of course, she knows that she was scared, especially as the effects of having absorbed the light from the lightwardens became more pronounced and difficult to ignore. The times the effects became nearly overpowering were terrifying, and although Ardbert did his best to be a comforting presence, she still found herself incredibly shaken by them.
And, of course, there were some things that she still cannot forget about: Tesleen becoming a sin eater, for one. Ardbert's forced penance, if it can be called that, for another.
But above all of that, she feared that she would become a sin eater or lightwarden and would never be able to go home. Someone would have to cut her down too. And, of course, she feared what would happen to her sister. If both of them turned, that's bad enough. But if she turned and Alkaid didn't, or the opposite? She's certain neither of them would be the same again. ]
But... I don't know if I can do that. [ Her ears flatten even further and her tail droops until it is nearly touching the ground. ]
You are so... [ She pauses, trying to find the right words to describe him. ] You seem so wise, and you know so much. You're every bit a leader, and I suppose I don't know why you would even look twice at me, or want to help.
[ She doesn't blame him for everything that happened, even though her more impulsive side might have at one point.
But she goes silent again as she listens to him talk, laying out his feelings for this hero who caught his eye and evidently his heart.
Something inside her leaps up with excitement, with the possibility that maybe he is describing her, but then she is quick to push that possibility aside. She is too young and too foolish compared to him.
Whoever this hero is, she must be someone great and inspiring, and... Then her eyes widen as she makes a realization. Is it possible that the hero he is talking about is none other than her own sister?
Of course, Alkaid only has eyes for Aymeric, but perhaps the Exarch has quietly held affection for her this whole time.
The thought she had that she would make a confession of sorts to him all but fades from her mind then. If he has thoughts or feelings for Alkaid, or even if he doesn't, but has an eye on someone else, she will not make things uncomfortable by telling him how she feels. ]
Oh, I see. [ She finally says, tilting her head slightly to look at him. ] Well, if you talk to her and sound as persuasive as you did just now, I'm sure she wouldn't be able to look anywhere else but at you.
[ She ignores how her heart feels like it's sinking; even if whoever this person is never looks at him the way he apparently wants her to, the least she can do is try encouraging him to keep reaching out. ]
no subject
If you were arrogant, then clearly I was too. [ Once. Or perhaps even now, she still is. But she's trying to grow and move past that.
As for what troubles her, she is having difficulty putting it into words. Of course, she knows that she was scared, especially as the effects of having absorbed the light from the lightwardens became more pronounced and difficult to ignore. The times the effects became nearly overpowering were terrifying, and although Ardbert did his best to be a comforting presence, she still found herself incredibly shaken by them.
And, of course, there were some things that she still cannot forget about: Tesleen becoming a sin eater, for one. Ardbert's forced penance, if it can be called that, for another.
But above all of that, she feared that she would become a sin eater or lightwarden and would never be able to go home. Someone would have to cut her down too. And, of course, she feared what would happen to her sister. If both of them turned, that's bad enough. But if she turned and Alkaid didn't, or the opposite? She's certain neither of them would be the same again. ]
But... I don't know if I can do that. [ Her ears flatten even further and her tail droops until it is nearly touching the ground. ]
You are so... [ She pauses, trying to find the right words to describe him. ] You seem so wise, and you know so much. You're every bit a leader, and I suppose I don't know why you would even look twice at me, or want to help.
[ She doesn't blame him for everything that happened, even though her more impulsive side might have at one point.
But she goes silent again as she listens to him talk, laying out his feelings for this hero who caught his eye and evidently his heart.
Something inside her leaps up with excitement, with the possibility that maybe he is describing her, but then she is quick to push that possibility aside. She is too young and too foolish compared to him.
Whoever this hero is, she must be someone great and inspiring, and... Then her eyes widen as she makes a realization. Is it possible that the hero he is talking about is none other than her own sister?
Of course, Alkaid only has eyes for Aymeric, but perhaps the Exarch has quietly held affection for her this whole time.
The thought she had that she would make a confession of sorts to him all but fades from her mind then. If he has thoughts or feelings for Alkaid, or even if he doesn't, but has an eye on someone else, she will not make things uncomfortable by telling him how she feels. ]
Oh, I see. [ She finally says, tilting her head slightly to look at him. ] Well, if you talk to her and sound as persuasive as you did just now, I'm sure she wouldn't be able to look anywhere else but at you.
[ She ignores how her heart feels like it's sinking; even if whoever this person is never looks at him the way he apparently wants her to, the least she can do is try encouraging him to keep reaching out. ]