[ In a way, it is as she said. By focusing on others, he can deflect attention away from himself and the things he wishes to keep to himself, because he still believes that his weaknesses and frailties are unbecoming of a Lord Speaker.
When his fear takes hold of him and she moves to lie beside him, he moves as well, pressing himself against her, desperately seeking her comfort. His hands wrap lightly around her and whether it is unbecoming of him or not, he all but melts against her.
He knows she can hear the churning emotions in his voice as he tries fighting off his exhaustion long enough to give her a proper answer. He does want only to sleep, but this conversation between them is far too important to forestall for a later time. Or at least, that is his belief. ]
Have I not caused you nothing but trouble and heartache since our paths first crossed? [ He knows that there have been moments of joy and happiness, but in the wake of everything that has happened with his tempering and everything she was forced to witness, he cannot help but feel that he has treated her quite poorly indeed. ]
I would not blame you in the least if you decided that now was the time to take your leave.
[ His hands shake as his fear of losing her only grows. He is, in a word, terrified that he will fall asleep and wake again only to find her gone forever, leaving the ring he gave her behind as the only reminder of their relationship. ]
Do you truly wish to stay? [ He feels like a fool for asking that question, as he is certain she might feel obligated to respond in a certain way, but he is still in a vulnerable state, one that has rendered him needing extra reassurance that he will not be left alone again. ]
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When his fear takes hold of him and she moves to lie beside him, he moves as well, pressing himself against her, desperately seeking her comfort. His hands wrap lightly around her and whether it is unbecoming of him or not, he all but melts against her.
He knows she can hear the churning emotions in his voice as he tries fighting off his exhaustion long enough to give her a proper answer. He does want only to sleep, but this conversation between them is far too important to forestall for a later time. Or at least, that is his belief. ]
Have I not caused you nothing but trouble and heartache since our paths first crossed? [ He knows that there have been moments of joy and happiness, but in the wake of everything that has happened with his tempering and everything she was forced to witness, he cannot help but feel that he has treated her quite poorly indeed. ]
I would not blame you in the least if you decided that now was the time to take your leave.
[ His hands shake as his fear of losing her only grows. He is, in a word, terrified that he will fall asleep and wake again only to find her gone forever, leaving the ring he gave her behind as the only reminder of their relationship. ]
Do you truly wish to stay? [ He feels like a fool for asking that question, as he is certain she might feel obligated to respond in a certain way, but he is still in a vulnerable state, one that has rendered him needing extra reassurance that he will not be left alone again. ]