[ Her eyes widen as his hands move away from her. That part of her that struggles so much all that she saw on the First practically screams at the idea he has pulled away from her. What if she has finally upset him enough that he might not wish to be with her? Would it be enough to steer him in to the hold of King Thordan?
Her hands begin to shake uncontrollably as she timidly reaches back out for his. Fingers brush along the back of his hands in a way to ask if she might hold onto them again. She has done her utmost to keep herself together as best she can throughout this whole affair. Even when his stagnating aether towards a particular element causes such a deep panic and fear inside her. Not that this is anything similar to the sin eaters, but, it is too far for comfort in her mind.
If at all possible, her ears flatten further against her head as her eyes close to keep the tears that threaten to shed at bay. Alkaid tucks her head down to hide her shame and what she feels is disgrace. ]
...you deserve so much more--better than me... [ Alkaid wishes she might curl into a ball underneath the covers and hide from him as she speaks. Instead, her head dips further as her shoulders begin to shake the same as her hands are. ] I fought so hard to come home to you--just as I promised I would... so much pain, and sorrow, and hopelessness... a-and I always feared that when I came home, the Empire would have taken you away, w-when I couldn't be there to save you...
...instead it was me--I'm the one who is broken; who came home different.
[ She has answered any question he may ever ask of the First and the state of the reflection. Not that she expects him to remember it through the haze the primal has placed upon his mind. He most certainly has no idea of what she speaks of or why it has troubled her so. He would have no recollections of the nights she curled up in blankets endlessly awake out of fear of nightmares, or waking because of them. She had thought herself improving--bettering--overcoming it all. She feels as if she truly was not improving and merely lying to herself because Aymeric had been there to help ease the pain of it all.
Now, King Thordan has been summoned, and enslaved her knight and she can do little more than help care for him and beg him not to stop fighting.
Tears finally start to cascade down her cheeks despite how much she screams within herself not to. ]
I'm sorry, [ Alkaid turns her cheek into the blanket in an attempt to stop the tears and put herself back together. ] I'm sorry--you deserve better and I...
no subject
[ Her eyes widen as his hands move away from her. That part of her that struggles so much all that she saw on the First practically screams at the idea he has pulled away from her. What if she has finally upset him enough that he might not wish to be with her? Would it be enough to steer him in to the hold of King Thordan?
Her hands begin to shake uncontrollably as she timidly reaches back out for his. Fingers brush along the back of his hands in a way to ask if she might hold onto them again. She has done her utmost to keep herself together as best she can throughout this whole affair. Even when his stagnating aether towards a particular element causes such a deep panic and fear inside her. Not that this is anything similar to the sin eaters, but, it is too far for comfort in her mind.
If at all possible, her ears flatten further against her head as her eyes close to keep the tears that threaten to shed at bay. Alkaid tucks her head down to hide her shame and what she feels is disgrace. ]
...you deserve so much more--better than me... [ Alkaid wishes she might curl into a ball underneath the covers and hide from him as she speaks. Instead, her head dips further as her shoulders begin to shake the same as her hands are. ] I fought so hard to come home to you--just as I promised I would... so much pain, and sorrow, and hopelessness... a-and I always feared that when I came home, the Empire would have taken you away, w-when I couldn't be there to save you...
...instead it was me--I'm the one who is broken; who came home different.
[ She has answered any question he may ever ask of the First and the state of the reflection. Not that she expects him to remember it through the haze the primal has placed upon his mind. He most certainly has no idea of what she speaks of or why it has troubled her so. He would have no recollections of the nights she curled up in blankets endlessly awake out of fear of nightmares, or waking because of them. She had thought herself improving--bettering--overcoming it all. She feels as if she truly was not improving and merely lying to herself because Aymeric had been there to help ease the pain of it all.
Now, King Thordan has been summoned, and enslaved her knight and she can do little more than help care for him and beg him not to stop fighting.
Tears finally start to cascade down her cheeks despite how much she screams within herself not to. ]
I'm sorry, [ Alkaid turns her cheek into the blanket in an attempt to stop the tears and put herself back together. ] I'm sorry--you deserve better and I...