[ Her chin tilts at his request, eyes finally raising to look at his glowing blue ones. Until now, she had been able to keep the longing for him unseen. Her fatigue has rendered her unable to do so now and he can plainly see it. A small part of her knows that he will most likely try to use it to win her over to his side. While she wishes she could lie to herself and believe that she might be able to curl against him? She knows that his tempered state would skew everything to the agenda that drives King Thordan. ]
... What does it matter if I'm not? [ Tears well in her eyes, but as she has this whole affair, she refuses to let them fall in front of him. While wounds on her body and even her soul have been healed after the affair in Norvrandt? It would seem the emotional and mental horrors will linger yet. She is still broken, and more than once has she thought that Aymeric deserves someone who is not in the state she is in. ] There is apparently no way to fix what is damaged... what is broken. Meaning it hardly matters if I am "fine", because it can't be healed.
[ Perhaps it can and she simply has yet to find how she might stop having the nightmares. There might be a remedy in the world--somewhere--but any soldier who has seen enough horrors of war has the wounds she has. Alkaid looks away as an expression of shame crosses her eyes. She had fought so hard for the First; to save it and the Source. She fought and pushed through in order to come home to Aymeric so they might finally be wed; the war with the Empire be damned.
What was given to her as her reward? Nightmares and fears that she cannot seem to shake no matter how hard she tries. And now, she may very well lose the very reason she held onto through all of it. Her other hand pulls from his to cover the one that wears the engagement ring. The tips of her fingers brush back and forth over the jewels.
She was supposed to come home. Instead, she feels all she can give Aymeric now is a shadow of herself when he deserves so much more.
Estinien is indeed on the other side of the door that leads into the suite. The room beyond the bedroom remains empty, save for what Tataru brought earlier. ]
no subject
... What does it matter if I'm not? [ Tears well in her eyes, but as she has this whole affair, she refuses to let them fall in front of him. While wounds on her body and even her soul have been healed after the affair in Norvrandt? It would seem the emotional and mental horrors will linger yet. She is still broken, and more than once has she thought that Aymeric deserves someone who is not in the state she is in. ] There is apparently no way to fix what is damaged... what is broken. Meaning it hardly matters if I am "fine", because it can't be healed.
[ Perhaps it can and she simply has yet to find how she might stop having the nightmares. There might be a remedy in the world--somewhere--but any soldier who has seen enough horrors of war has the wounds she has. Alkaid looks away as an expression of shame crosses her eyes. She had fought so hard for the First; to save it and the Source. She fought and pushed through in order to come home to Aymeric so they might finally be wed; the war with the Empire be damned.
What was given to her as her reward? Nightmares and fears that she cannot seem to shake no matter how hard she tries. And now, she may very well lose the very reason she held onto through all of it. Her other hand pulls from his to cover the one that wears the engagement ring. The tips of her fingers brush back and forth over the jewels.
She was supposed to come home. Instead, she feels all she can give Aymeric now is a shadow of herself when he deserves so much more.
Estinien is indeed on the other side of the door that leads into the suite. The room beyond the bedroom remains empty, save for what Tataru brought earlier. ]