[ Something inside him simply aches with a longing for her closeness and her love, but there is something else that also aches with the knowledge that there are gaps in his memory. Perhaps it is best that he not recall what happened, and he certainly should not ask those who witnessed it to recount it for him. He also does not wish to hurt more nor to cause hurt to others, but there is a part of him that needs to know. And yet when the thought of asking for help filling in those missing parts of his memories comes to him, he hesitates.
It would not only hurt him, but it would bring hurt to those he cares about, and so he knows he cannot do that. He has not missed the way that Alkaid reacts when certain thoughts seem to enter her mind, and while he cannot read her mind, in such moments, the look that he sees on her face is reminder that he ought not cause her hurt as well, even if she is not recalling his tempering.
He is quick to circle his arm around her, hoping that his touch is comforting as well. He would hold onto her with everything that he has in hopes that they might remain together in this lifetime and beyond.
As always, her kisses and her touches upon his back elicit a pleasure reaction from him. When she slides her hands beneath his shirt, he all but goes slack in her hold. How easily she can render him truly relaxed and unresisting. She could do anything to him in those moments and he would not fight nor protest.
She asks those questions, and the answer is on the tip of his tongue: lie next to me and hold me. But even as he thinks those words in his mind, they sound so very selfish. A part of him still fears that she will come to despise him because of his needs, and so he remains silent rather than answer.
But even though he has yet to answer her with words, his fingers curl and tighten around her, as if to say he has no intentions of letting her go or of pulling away. ]
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It would not only hurt him, but it would bring hurt to those he cares about, and so he knows he cannot do that. He has not missed the way that Alkaid reacts when certain thoughts seem to enter her mind, and while he cannot read her mind, in such moments, the look that he sees on her face is reminder that he ought not cause her hurt as well, even if she is not recalling his tempering.
He is quick to circle his arm around her, hoping that his touch is comforting as well. He would hold onto her with everything that he has in hopes that they might remain together in this lifetime and beyond.
As always, her kisses and her touches upon his back elicit a pleasure reaction from him. When she slides her hands beneath his shirt, he all but goes slack in her hold. How easily she can render him truly relaxed and unresisting. She could do anything to him in those moments and he would not fight nor protest.
She asks those questions, and the answer is on the tip of his tongue: lie next to me and hold me. But even as he thinks those words in his mind, they sound so very selfish. A part of him still fears that she will come to despise him because of his needs, and so he remains silent rather than answer.
But even though he has yet to answer her with words, his fingers curl and tighten around her, as if to say he has no intentions of letting her go or of pulling away. ]