Surely you must know how much I long for that very thing. [ His eyes slide closed for a moment when she nudges his jaw with her nose, and he allows those feelings of longing, as poignant as they are, to sweep over him. He does not begrudge his duty, nor will he ever, but he so very much desires to have the freedom to travel alongside her, his beloved and his dearest.
One might not think him capable of such deep longings, given the way he keeps his mask of stoicism firmly in place, but for someone like Alkaid who has seen him in vulnerable states before... He imagines she is no longer fooled by said mask. Nevertheless, he clings to that as much as possible, especially when his emotions threaten to break through as they are presently doing.
He does not consider himself bound or trapped by his responsibilities, and his service to Ishgard has never chafed, not even once over the years. But now he so desperately longs for a short period of reprieve, just long enough to take a trip away with her that something begins to burn in his eyes, and he quickly dips his head to try and obscure any unseemly display that might occur. Never mind that he has shed tears in front of her before, but the memory of that seems to have slipped to the back of his mind along with most of what transpired while he was enthralled by Thordan.
When she squeezes his hand, his fingers tighten around hers too, as if still very much clinging onto her as if she is his only support and lifeline when his emotions threaten to spin out of control. However, that only makes his guilt and regret worse, because does she not have enough to shoulder without him adding his own troubles? He should not feel as upset as he does, and yet it feels to him that something inside him has broken and will take time to fully heal.
Or perhaps an injury already existed and has only been exacerbated by recent events. Either way, he deems these displays of weakness as unfitting for someone in his position, and an apology to her that she has to see it is once again lingering on his tongue.
But one thing is clear: however hurt he might be, he needs to be strong for her as well, and to that end, he straightens his shoulders but he does not break their kiss. ]
There is no need for any sort of haste. If there is something you would say, I would hear of it, but you do not need to push yourself to speak if you feel you are not ready. And... you do not have to fear about hurting me, particularly when the reasons why I cannot accompany you are largely of my own making. I realize that I could not accompany you there, but regardless of whether the barriers preventing such a thing are mine or designed by others-
That we must be deprived of each other's company is because of me, and for that, I apologize.
[ Aymeric then reaches for her other hand so that both of their hands might be joined together, and he gives that one a gentle squeeze as well even as he presses yet another kiss against her lips. ]
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One might not think him capable of such deep longings, given the way he keeps his mask of stoicism firmly in place, but for someone like Alkaid who has seen him in vulnerable states before... He imagines she is no longer fooled by said mask. Nevertheless, he clings to that as much as possible, especially when his emotions threaten to break through as they are presently doing.
He does not consider himself bound or trapped by his responsibilities, and his service to Ishgard has never chafed, not even once over the years. But now he so desperately longs for a short period of reprieve, just long enough to take a trip away with her that something begins to burn in his eyes, and he quickly dips his head to try and obscure any unseemly display that might occur. Never mind that he has shed tears in front of her before, but the memory of that seems to have slipped to the back of his mind along with most of what transpired while he was enthralled by Thordan.
When she squeezes his hand, his fingers tighten around hers too, as if still very much clinging onto her as if she is his only support and lifeline when his emotions threaten to spin out of control. However, that only makes his guilt and regret worse, because does she not have enough to shoulder without him adding his own troubles? He should not feel as upset as he does, and yet it feels to him that something inside him has broken and will take time to fully heal.
Or perhaps an injury already existed and has only been exacerbated by recent events. Either way, he deems these displays of weakness as unfitting for someone in his position, and an apology to her that she has to see it is once again lingering on his tongue.
But one thing is clear: however hurt he might be, he needs to be strong for her as well, and to that end, he straightens his shoulders but he does not break their kiss. ]
There is no need for any sort of haste. If there is something you would say, I would hear of it, but you do not need to push yourself to speak if you feel you are not ready. And... you do not have to fear about hurting me, particularly when the reasons why I cannot accompany you are largely of my own making. I realize that I could not accompany you there, but regardless of whether the barriers preventing such a thing are mine or designed by others-
That we must be deprived of each other's company is because of me, and for that, I apologize.
[ Aymeric then reaches for her other hand so that both of their hands might be joined together, and he gives that one a gentle squeeze as well even as he presses yet another kiss against her lips. ]