echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

[dragonssung]

song of hope

BOOK 3.5: EVER HEAVENSWARD

Tales of loss and fire and faith
Every word on our hearts engraved
In the dark you will not stray
Forge ahead, till the end, we prayCODE BY TESSISAMESS

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[crystallinedreams]

[ Ruby eyes glance at the ears atop her head that lift up. An embarrassed smile takes his face then. He has had company enough these many long years. Of course, he would certainly not rebuff her company. He would ask that she stay in Norvrandt longer as well, but if they could yet cure tempering? That alone would be worth their temporary separation.]

Even after everything?

[ The smile on his face turns sad. There is no doubt the horrors the two sisters have had to face have left their marks: physical and invisible. How she might yet stand his presence, let alone wish to be close to him, truly is amazing in his mind. The Exarch shyly rubs his crystal arm. ]

First, we should start with acquiring a meal. We might be researching this for some time tonight. And, I would hate to garner the ire of your sister for not having care for you while you are here...

[thewayforpeace]

[ The warmth of the bath has relaxed him so much that all thoughts of everything but drifting off into a deep sleep fled his mind. Even if he had been capable of thinking of it, it has not occurred to him that perhaps he should not sleep in the bed without clothes on. Fortunately for him, Alkaid has thought of it, but even so, a frown crosses his face as she moves him as needed to help dress him.

Still, before too long, she has him ready to sleep, and with her continued help, he slides beneath the covers. He does his best to move as he has been bid, rolling onto his side while still needing a little assistance from her as his strength has not returned in full. A sigh escapes him again when she kisses the base of his ear, and his exhaustion is so great that it takes very little time for sleep to claim him.

He remains asleep even as she works on healing his injuries as best as she is able, and as she goes about her work, his breathing deepens and the lingering tension in his body fades, allowing him to finally relax.

But as time passes, even as they remain asleep, her back still nestled against him, he begins to dream as well. The images form and shift so fast that his mind can barely process them, but he dreams of his father urging him to follow him to Azys Lla, only to disappear the moment he finally reaches him. Interspersed with dreams of Thordan are dreams featuring Alkaid, and those are not any less distressing. In these dreams, he reaches out for her, calling for her, but she disappears just as Thordan did. And sometimes, he fails to reach her at all, arriving too late and finding her gone without a trace.

It is because of these dreams that chase themselves around his mind that the knock on the door does not register with Aymeric. It seems as though nothing is able to break through the sleep he desperately needs or the dreams that are playing themselves out.

He shifts slightly in his sleep when Alkaid moves, but beyond that, he remains still. He may be resting, and the sleep he has managed to get may very well help restore his strength, but even so, his mind has not relented enough to give him pleasant dreams.

His eyes remain closed as his sleep continues, but tears that he might have been able to hold back had he not been subjected to this long battle leak from beneath his closed eyelids. Whatever it is he is presently dreaming about is clearly causing no small amount of upset and a muted distressed sound escapes from him.

He rolls over while still remaining asleep, hands reaching out as if searching blindly for Alkaid and the comfort that she offers even though she is not far from him at all. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ A loving kiss is placed to his forehead at his frown. She understands he simply wishes to rest. He has strained himself physically the last few hours with how weak he has become and his compiled injuries. Even further, she is certain he has put himself under considerable mental and emotional strain by attempting to take the stance against the primal as he has.

The sign of his breathing finally deepening is a relief to her, and one she shows by letting out a large exhale. Perhaps now with his injuries on his back taken care of he can begin to rest. She still has injuries on his chest to aid, and the damage done by his own on his arms against the cell doors, but it is certainly better than it had been the day before.

Her vision focuses on the early afternoon rays attempting to find their way through the heavy curtains. A hand raises to rub at her eyes. The realization that it had only been a handful of hours settles in. She had felt that her dreams went on for eternity and thus she had been asleep longer. Alkaid's gaze moves to the bedroom door and lingers for a long moment. Her ears twitch at the sound of yet another knock.

She supposes she must rise and face whoever knocks at the door to the ambassador quarters.

With a small sigh, Alkaid moves to push herself up. She finds her body heavy and demanding more rest to replenish the aether she has expended. Yet, she has every intention to ignore it and keep pushing forward. There is little else she might do in the position that she now finds herself in. It hardly matters how broken she still feels inside or how drained her body is. A Warrior of Light must keep pushing forward for all of their lives, hopes, and dreams.

That, however, is when her ears twitch at another sound they pick up.

Alkaid looks back over her shoulder at the sleeping Aymeric. Although she would hardly call it sleeping now. His arms stretched out towards her person and tears distinctly falling down his face. The sight causes her to pause, as she cannot recall ever seeing a time when he has cried. While she certainly has done plenty of it since her return from Norvrandt? He has ever kept it inside, even if at times he cannot keep his emotions inwardly. She turns so she might reach out and take his hand, but pauses once she hears the door to the quarters open.

A sense of panic fills her and one ear turns towards the door. While she knows none of the Storms could get past Estinien on guard? A sense of dread fills her that the Grand Company has arrived. Had they learned that Aymeric is truly tempered, and refuse to house him, as they do Ga Bu? Her head all but whips back to the door as she desperately strains to listen for unfamiliar footsteps. Alkaid pulls herself closer to Aymeric, not simply just so he can find her, but so she can protect him if need be. Her shaking hand rests on top of his as she leans even closer to the sleeping man at her side...

Then, she hears Estinien's calm voice. Another one follows, one higher and oh so familiar. Her eyes widen as her ears stand on end. She cannot make out the words they are saying through the heavy door, but it is clear that the person he speaks to is none other than Tataru.

Tataru? Why is she here? Had the Scions asked her and Krile to oversee herself and Aymeric? Was there a sense of distrust between them all because she had refused to act as a Scion and instead as a wife? Her ears fold against her head and her hand squeezes Aymeric's firmly.

After a few more moments the voices sound farther away and the sound of the door closing echoes. Alkaid remains where she is, shaking from the adrenaline that has shocked her exhausted state, practically clutching onto the blanket below her and the hand in hers. Her breathing returns to normal only for her head to slip back and her lip to tremble as tears find their way down her cheeks once more.

Gods, the stress of it all... ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Perhaps it is because Alkaid's ministrations have slowly begun encouraging his aether to move, no matter how hard the primal tries to keep a firm grip on both him and the substance; of course, his aether is still very much stagnant, but at least a shift has started.

Or perhaps what happens next is a phenomenon unrelated to the movement of his aether, but the fact remains that even the smallest of movements that Alkaid makes stirs up a response in Aymeric as well, even though he remains asleep. He continues reaching for her, shifting his position on the bed as if trying to get closer to her once more. The swirling images from his dreams continue, each one ending the same way: with Alkaid disappearing from view.

This could all be his mind's way of pushing back against the primal's refusal to even consider letting the Warrior of Light in, or it could be the primal further trying to pull Aymeric away from those subconscious desires.

His breathing remains deep and even, but his sleeping form tenses and contracts as if responding to Alkaid's own stress and apprehension because of whatever is transpiring outside the room.

Then, an image bursts unbidden into Aymeric's churning dreams, and this one is so distressing that a fresh wave of tears flows from his eyes. He may be fighting back against the primal, but this is not a one-sided fight. Instead of trying and failing to find Alkaid before she vanishes, this time, he finds her, but it is still far too late to save her. Something or someone has taken her life, and although Aymeric tries desperately to reach out to her, she is beyond recalling or restoring.

Aymeric's distress only rises because of the horrors he is being forced to see, but that is not the only thing that compels him to reach for Alkaid, to pull himself even closer to her. It is not the smoothest of efforts, but the arms that reached desperately for her now lower to circle around her waist as best as they can. Her continued stress is stirring up a reaction in Aymeric as well, and he only wishes to comfort her and perhaps find a small amount of comfort for himself too. ]

[culturedconjurer]

[ Y'shtola's ever-placid appraising gaze travels between the three as they speak and pronounce their respective opinions on the matter. That each one has merit, she does not deny, but it still seems to her that achieving that which they wish to accomplish will be quite the monumental, if not entirely unprecedented, task.

Thancred, meanwhile, merely sits by and listens to the exchange; this talk of souls and aether is a bit outside his area of expertise, preferring opportunities to engage in subterfuge and other covert operations. Simply put, he is a man of action, not necessarily a scholar.

As if she senses Thancred's feeling that he has little to contribute to the present discussion, Y'shtola turns her gaze to him, and a knowing smile crosses her face. A finger taps at her lips in a somewhat teasing gesture, as if she knows that his attention is beginning to wander. But he still remains a valued member of the Scions, and perhaps they will have need of him yet.

She turns her attentions back to the exchange between Urianger and the Exarch even as her eyes briefly turn to where the Warriors of Light sit. Their silence is understandable, given the rather personal nature of what has transpired, but still, she finds herself wondering what might be going through their mind.

Tilting her head once more, she says: ] Azys Lla? [ She ponders this for a few seconds before inclining her head. ] A great many mysteries are contained there, some being harder to unlock than others.

[ She spares a glance for K'thisru then, and even as she remains positioned by her sister, she looks back with a slight shrug.

K'thisru's gaze travels back to her sister, and again, her shoulders lift in a shrug. She still considers herself little better than G'raha's assistant during their time together, because like Thancred, most of this flies right over her head. Still, she has done her best to absorb the information and learn from it.

Thancred chooses this moment to finally speak, having picked up on something he might be able to do to contribute. ] If a visit to Azys Lla is in order, who among us will be making the journey?

[elpides]

[ Her expression shifts again, turning just a little bit more pensive as she thinks back to everything that has happened and the horrifying things that both she and her sister have lived through. Of course she knows that neither she nor her sister are unfazed, and a part of them may never be the same again, but at the same time, she knows she does not wish to carry a grudge or even hatred for the man in front of her.

She shakes her head, and although her ears lower just slightly, she still manages a smile for his benefit. ]

I could be angry or upset, but I don't think that's what I want to do. [ She chooses this moment to reach for his crystal hand so that she can give it a fond squeze. ]

I'd like that. [ To spend any amount of time with him is something she most certainly wants, and to share a meal with him is something she would gladly do. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ The weight around her hips garners her attention away from her own distress. Alkaid swallows her emotions and forces herself to calm down as much as possible. Her free hand, still shaking to an extreme amount, raises to rest on the top of his head. The other moves from his hand to his arm. Both move together in order to soothe him. Hopefully, he can recognize that he has certainly found her. ]

... ssh, hush now, Aymeric. I'm right here. [ She leans back against the headboard to situate herself better. Then, she guides his head to rest against her lap. ] I said no one will take me away, and I plan to keep that promise.

[ She is certain that eventually the Scions will return to inform her of the latest advances with the cure to tempering. No doubt lingers in her mind that some of them perhaps are still very cross with her. Her decision has not changed and nor will it. Aymeric is still in need of her as at least a healer.

The hand from his arm lifts to gently brush away the tears slipping down his face. Then, she sighs, tilting her head back to look up at the ceiling as some of the afternoon sun rays spread across the room once they find their way through the heavy curtains. Her fingers continue to brush through his hair and eventually settle at the hair at the nape of his neck. She absentmindedly toys with the strands as her thoughts change to what might happen when they do cure him.

Will he still wish to be married to her? How might they go about restoring Ishgard? They still need to find where King Thordan and his Knights Twelve are. That is, presuming that King Thordan has his knights. Should she ask Aymeric of it? That, she supposes, will be left to the state that he is in when he awakens. He might be as he has been... or return to the strong minded man who sees only Thordan's will.

Her thoughts continue to swirl and twist around one another even once her eyes close and her head dips to her shoulder. The hand in his hair only stills once sleep fully claims her yet again and she falls into a slumber. The quality of her sleep does not change and nor do the images that haunt her mind. Instead, she shifts uncomfortably in her sleep, even to the point where she eventually lays on her side with his head still against her lap. The sight is almost akin to a cat curling at the head of the sleeping owner of the bed.

Even as she slumbers and the all too familiar monsters haunt her dreams? A whine comes from her as she shakes. Perhaps the might not notice or even be aware of it. Yet, it is a semi-often occurrence in her sleep patterns since her return from Norvrandt. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Somehow, even though it goes against everything that Thordan wishes, and it further tests the limits of Aymeric's already vulnerable state, the only thing he wishes to do in this moment is to ease some of Alkaid's fears. The way his arms latch onto her is every bit for her benefit as it is for him, perhaps even moreso.

But his emotional barriers have been so badly damaged by this long struggle that he has very little control over himself and his feelings that threaten to spill out just like the tears that course down the sides of his face. Even as she guides him to rest his head in her lap, he cries out in his sleep, an action he never would have done had he still remained the stoic person he would have been had he not been struggling against the primal that still has a hold on him.

Although his sleep has become considerably less restful, it is still a form of rest, and even in his despair, he burrows his head further into her lap, clearly seeking out her presence and the comfort she gives him, in spite of her own distressed state.

A second quieter cry escapes him, but now his tension fades yet again as the harrowing dreams fade from his mind and exhaustion pulls him back under as well. He remains dimly aware of her presence with him, but he has not realized that she also has drifted off to sleep.

It is some time after they both have been claimed by slumber that Aymeric stirs. Tear tracks still can be seen on his face, but he does not remember ever shedding those tears. A sound that is closer to a distressed whine reaches his ears, and gradually, his eyes slide open. He moves again, stopping when he realizes that his head is still pillowed in her lap, and because of that and the position she fell into when sleep took her provides him with quite an interesting view.

But no thoughts along those lines enter his mind, and instead of moving or attempting to speak, he stills once more, but he remains awake, eyes all but focused on her and what he can see of her face. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ She gently squeezes his arm as he cries out. It truly breaks her heart to hear. The fact she cannot aid him through whatever torments him seems like one more failure in her mind. She knows she cannot remove the dreams he must be having, but she wonders if she helps him at all through these moments. Her body leans towards him more as he presses into her lap. Hopefully, for now, he can find some comfort from her presence if naught else.

If the circumstances had been anything along the lines of normalcy? She may have smiled suggestively and shifted for his view. However, she is still buried under her own set of distressing dreams. Another small sound makes its way free and she curls her hands to her chest. Her head turns into the pillows beneath her. The shake in her hands only increases and she attempts to curl into herself. That proves difficult as his head is still in her lap.

The dreams continue as they have as horror after horror was encountered in the far away land. Creatures deformed and twisted, a people on the brink of destruction, and the fear in the back of her mind that nothing would be left of Eorzea when she and K'thsiru returned. They twist into memories of long stretched battlefields with the Empire. A weapon so powerful it could kill any without a trace...

The face of the person she loves the most on the star amongst those that litter the battlefield. Realizing that, as she stands there, she was too late to save him. After everything she and K'thisru had been through, after promising she would come home to him. After all those lives they had saved? She failed to save him, to come back to uphold her promise of being his wife. She falls to her knees beside him and shaking hands reaching to hold his face in her hands.

Then, a heartbroken cry breaks through in her dream and in the waking world. She cradles him in her dreams, apologizing again and again for not making it in time. Tears stream down her face as she presses her forehead to his. What sort of manner of Warrior of Light is she? She might save the world a thousand times over with her sister at her side, but she is incapable of saving the one she would spend her life with? Now, he lays in her arms, his soul long departed to the aetheric sea. Crying seems hardly enough to try and express the depths of how broken her heart is, but it is the only thing she can think to do. Other than hold him in her arms and continue her repeating apologies.

He cannot be dead. Not truly. Not after everything they've been through. Life cannot be that unfair or cruel.

In the waking world, she tries desperately to wake. She does not wish to be in a world where he nor her sister are not. Tears form in her eyes but they do not fall as the desperate attempts to leave her world of nightmares push through anything else. Her hands ball into fists and her face presses more into the pillows. ]

[crystallinedreams]

Ah, well, you are certainly within your rights to be cross, upset, even furious with me. There was much I had left unsaid or unexplained throughout the course of your time here. I would not expect you to forgive me for some time yet.

[ The hand still made of flesh raises to gently touch her cheek. Then, he pulls it away in sudden a turn of sudden shyness. A part of him will always feel as if it is not his place to touch her in a way that one could see as intimate. The hand she takes, however, squeezes hers in return as his head tucks down. The white tinged hairs do little to hide the complicated expression that takes his face.

He sighs and shakes his head at himself. ]

Then, we shall gather what we can and bring it back to the Ocular. [ The Exarch reaches for his staff. At first all seems well, but the moment he attempts to put weight on the leg that crystal has begun to travel down the back of? His ears stand on end and a low grunt of pain escapes up. ] Ah... I may need your assistance. If it would not be too much trouble, Thisru.

[shepherdtostars]

[ Little has gone through her mind other than the consuming worry for the man she already considers her husband and her mate. While normally she would be engaged, even at the forefront, of attempting to find what would be needed for a cure? Now, all she wishes to do is place the task onto the other Scions and return to Aymeric's side. Her gaze drops further and her hand entirely laxes in K'thsiru's hold.

The Exarch nods in agreement to Y'sthola's assessments. ] Yes. The Allagans would not have simply their research to be easily obtained. Not with the nature of what they were attempting to achieve there. Very little was available in the Tower's records when it came to what research was done there. What we might pull from the records of the Scions is that it housed the Warring Triad to keep them in a perpetual state of of summoning. Therefore, any and all research could be done while they were in control of the Primals--or, Eikons, as they refer to them as. Doubtless there would be many traps that would require the aid of one keen for battle...

[ He smiles over at Thancred, as if understanding the man's need to see action and not just meetings endlessly. ] And, you may yet need one more item to make the journey easier. The Allagans, after all, were a society built around a royal linage. Should any overrides exist, a member of the royal family could provide such authorization.

[ Urianger tilts his head. ] And yet, thou still doth remain on the First, Exarch. A voice--even of the soul--could not override what would need be done.

[ At that, the Exarch nods and turns to look at K'thisru. He smiles at her, raising his normal hand and gesturing to her. ] Before your left, Thisru, I gave you the token of Allagan make. It not only has allowed me to center the magicks in order to project... but it also contains a small amount of my blood. It should suffice in order to give you and any you take to Azys Lla the authority you would need. And, if cor some reason it is not enough, then pray, call upon me with the same token. I will see what can be done.

[ Urianger frowns gently before turning his gaze back to Y'shtola and Thancred. It is quite obvious that the Crystal Exarch has already done much to aid them and Eorzea. However, he feels that he does not need to point out the dangers that might yet lurk in the continual projection of his soul by use of the Tower. They are not concerns he will raise with the twins or the sisters present...

Alisaie tilts her head as she folds her arms in thought. ] Then, who is going to Asyz Lla?

[thewayforpeace]

[ Perhaps it is because some part of him is deathly afraid of losing her, of having the images his mind is forcing him to see turn into reality. Although he may not fully realize it through the haze of enthrallment, his world brightened considerably the day she came into it. If she were to leave him either of her own accord or because something ripped them apart, he would never be the same again. His world would darken without her light, and although he might find a way to recover, the loss would certainly be a difficult mountain to climb, if he managed to at all.

He does not cry out again, but the distress and torment of his nightmare is plain to see in every tensed muscle and the stiffness that takes hold of his frame. The cry that bursts from her brings about an immediate reaction from him, and he jerks abruptly as if something has burned him.

Driven by the need to comfort her, he shifts, pressing a hand down upon the bed so that he might push himself from where he lies with his head in her lap into a seated position, and to his surprise, his body complies. It seems as though the combination of food and sleep, however brief and disturbed, has brought some of his strength back.

One hand moves to cover one of hers that has balled itself into a fist while the other goes to rest on her head, hoping that the touch will give her some comfort. But he is still not fully healed yet, and although he knows he can remain sitting up, he decides that he only wants to lie down beside her. The hand resting on her head does not move even as he shifts positions, moving to stretch himself out next to her, and once he has, then his arm moves to wrap itself lightly around her waist.

Finally coming to a stop, he does just one more thing, pressing his front against her back, as he waits for a sign that her nightmare is lessening or that she is beginning to return to wakefulness. ]

[elpides]

[ Even as he's speaking, she's shaking her head. ] It wasn't reassuring seeing our friends like that, but you had your reasons, didn't you?

[ Even now, she's still doing her best to understand him and the things that he did, and that is taking the edge off any anger she might have had.

She has become slightly more thoughtful in her words and actions of late, but when he pulls his hand away from her, she does something quite impulsive: she gently grabs hold of it with her own hand and pulls it back towards her. ]

Don't think you can't or shouldn't touch me. [ There's a slight admonition in her words, but she's smiling at him nonetheless.

That smile fades quickly when she sees his ears stand up and hears his grunt, and without hesitation, she tightens the hold she has on his hand and her other arm moves to circle around his waist in case he needs the added support there as well. ]

You really need to stop pushing yourself so hard.

[shepherdtostars]

[ His touch causes her ears to lower in relaxed state; as they usually might when he strokes them. Her expression eases as well, moving from distress to simply sorrow. Even as her consciousness struggles to wake, she is always aware of his presence. The hand in his relaxes and her fingers move as if attempting to find where his might be to find their normal resting place between them.

It takes several more moments for her mind to finally claw out of its slumbering state. Her eyes finally open to simply look at the wall that she faces at first. An ear turns towards Aymeric once she realizes his breathing indicates he is once again awake. There is only a strain to his breaths now as opposed to the laboring he suffered through the day before. Alkaid closes her eyes and turns her hand to slip her fingers between his. ]

...did I wake you? I'm sorry. [ Her voice is quiet, as if tired of fighting several battles all in a row. Fatigue has certainly set in as her mind cannot simply rest after all she has seen and done in Norvrandt. Even before then, the battles with the Empire.

She turns so she might face him. Except, her eyes never quite raise to meet his. They instead look down at their mismatched clothing. Ears lower to press against her head completely and her tail curls up around her. She knows she should not be this close to him. It could further cause an outrage of the primal influence in his mind and damage him further. Yet, all she wishes to do is lean into his hold as she might normally.

All the battles... the loss... the victories... she is so tired.

Her eyes close once more as her shoulders drop. Then, her forehead rests against his chest, despite her better judgement. ]

Did you sleep well? Were your dreams better?

[ Although she does know the answer to some degree. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Feeling somewhat encouraged by her response, Aymeric continues to stroke her ears even as she stirs and her eyes open.

The smile he gives her is both like his usual smile but not quite at the same time. The primal in his mind is still present, of course, but for the moment, it is deciding to remain somewhat dormant, waiting and watching.

In a way, he feels somewhat as he had when he first awoke in the cell, only this time, there is no compelling need to escape. For one, there are no bars holding him in, only a room. The Warrior of Light still registers as a threat with King Thordan, but Aymeric still pushes back against those thoughts, still retaining the belief that she can be swayed into aligning with them and being of use, if only he is given the opportunity to be at his most persuasive. Being rendered weak and unresponsive only feels like a step backwards to him, and so whenever Thordan tries to reprimand him for still viewing Alkaid as an ally, he does his best to argue against that.

He shakes his head, part of him marveling in the fact that his head does not pound nor does his vision blur from completing that action. ]

Nay, I was already beginning to stir when I saw that your sleep had become disturbed. [ His tone softens when she turns so that she is facing him. ]

I slept as well as anyone could expect, but I think that I have been the focus of your worries for far too long. It is high time that someone worry about you. Your sleep did not seem restful nor easy.

[ He is certain she'll notice how he deflected the question concerning his dreams, but he means well by it. Whatever it is she saw in her dreams seemed every bit as distressing, if not even more than his were. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her ears remain pressed to her head even with his fingers moving across them. A deep part of her longs for him to touch her, hold her, shield her from all that is happening. She has to remind herself over and over that he is in no position to do that. He is barely himself and still injured. If she were to move as she would normally, than certainly King Thordan would strike at him and undo what progress to his recovery has already been made.

Her gaze remains downwards with no inclination to meet his eyes. The hand that bares her engagement ring curls against her and she gently twists it by the back with her thumb. It is so very like him to deflect his own troubles in need of anothers. She, of course, is guilty of the very same thing. Except, she is aware he is the one in the right. She certainly does not receive the care she gives, but of her own insistence. She and her sister are the Warriors of Light of the Source. They should not need others to raise them up when they are the ones to carry the hopes of others.

If she is broken or fatigued makes little difference. They must push on for the sake of everyone else.

Her usually neat braid has become a mess--perhaps reflecting how she precieves herself on the inside. Her gaze shifts to the side and a gentle shake of her head is given. ]

I'm fine.

[ The tone of her voice implies she does not wish to convince him or herself. No, it is more a tone of resignation. A form of acceptance that how she is now is very well how she might always be.

She curls her shoulders slightly as the hand he holds laxes in his grip. ]

...once I've rested more, I'll finish tending to the rest of your injuries. But, before then, we should have dinner.

[elpides]

[ K'thisru turns to look at the Exarch as well, a small sort of smile crossing her face in spite of herself. She worries about him as well, wondering if what he does will take a final toll on him, one he cannot recover from.

But he has resolved to do what must be done, and it seems as though trying to convince him otherwise is a futile effort, so rather than comment on that, she says instead: ]

It looks like Thancred would like to go, at least. [ She spares a smile for him, because she can also tell that he would rather be doing something else than discussing plans. Still, plans are necessary if action is going to happen, but she sympathizes with him regardless. ]

And of course, I have to go. [ She squeezes Alkaid's hand as if apologizing for this. She would stay with her if she could, but this seems like a way she can help. ]

I'm not sure who else should accompany us, if anyone. [ She looks around the room at the others, wondering if any of them will volunteer. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ He may not be wholly himself, and he certainly is not fully recovered even though he feels considerably stronger now, but he has retained enough of himself to be concerned for her. With one hand, he reaches for her face, fingers coming to rest beneath her chin in a request that she allow him to lift her face to look at him. If she refuses or pulls away, he won't insist, of course.

The ring she wears does not go unnoticed, and something akin to a chime sounds in the back of his mind, as if trying to bring to mind the occasion when he gave that ring to her. That memory is still very much alive and present, of course, but it seems as though the primal does not wish for Aymeric to focus upon it as it slips away from the forefront of his thoughts almost as soon as it was formed. ]

But you aren't; I can clearly see that you are not well.

[ He shakes his head at her next words, an expression of determination, the best that he can manage, comes to his face. ]

I will be all right for the moment. Your attentions have seen to that. I think that it is high time you turn those attentions to yourself, if only for a time. Anything else can be delayed for a moment or two.

[ An idea occurs to him then, and his gaze shifts over to the door and to the dragoon who surely must still be stationed outside. Unless, of course, Estinien also retreated for a rest.

Perhaps if he can rise from the bed and cross over to the door, he might be able to enlist Estinien's aid in ensuring that Alkaid take a brief reprieve. It is not even that he wishes to be rid of her; he clearly wants her to remain with him, but he would have to be blind to not notice how unwell she appears. That, in his mind, is unacceptable. If she refuses him, he has one more tactic that he might use to convince her, but he is waiting to see what her response will be. ]

[crystallinedreams]

[ A tired smile is given to her as she aids him in standing. Truthfully, he should send her to fetch dinner for the pair of them. Then, he remembers how much of his life is owed to her and how much he had already asked of her and her sister. Saving the First to avert the Eighth Umbral Calamity most certainly means he should not ask anything more of the pair.

One hand clutches onto the staff to give him leverage. The other, at her own insistence, raises to gently rest on the side of her face. His ears twitch lightly at the notion of possibly being closer to her than colleagues or allies. Most certianly they have crossed some of those boundaries already. However, he would not impose nor insist... ]

I do what is required of me. I am quite certain you and your sister push yourselves further than any other. [ The Exarch's smile turns gentler then. ] I had my reasons... yes, I most certainly did. Yet, one must still hold me accountable for the errors and faults in my plan.

[ His head turns upwards to look at the crystal and gold ceiling. ] There had been other attempts before I resorted to the Calling. Those times I met you in Ishgard? They had been my very first. However, I found myself far too early from your point of view. One can hardly speak of the Eighth Umbral Calamity during the time of the Dragonsong War without causing a panic.

No. In fact, the timing had to be just right. If I had spoken to you or your sister too early of events? It could of very well hastened the events on the Source, thereby making the state of the First spiral further into a Rejoining. Although... I admit... I may have done well to try one more time to cast my soul to the Source.

[ Then, an embarrassed smile touches his face as his ears move up and down. ]

And, I had not intended to bring the Scions here as well. While it all worked for the better? It was you and your sister that were the only ones meant to come.

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her chin tilts at his request, eyes finally raising to look at his glowing blue ones. Until now, she had been able to keep the longing for him unseen. Her fatigue has rendered her unable to do so now and he can plainly see it. A small part of her knows that he will most likely try to use it to win her over to his side. While she wishes she could lie to herself and believe that she might be able to curl against him? She knows that his tempered state would skew everything to the agenda that drives King Thordan. ]

... What does it matter if I'm not? [ Tears well in her eyes, but as she has this whole affair, she refuses to let them fall in front of him. While wounds on her body and even her soul have been healed after the affair in Norvrandt? It would seem the emotional and mental horrors will linger yet. She is still broken, and more than once has she thought that Aymeric deserves someone who is not in the state she is in. ] There is apparently no way to fix what is damaged... what is broken. Meaning it hardly matters if I am "fine", because it can't be healed.

[ Perhaps it can and she simply has yet to find how she might stop having the nightmares. There might be a remedy in the world--somewhere--but any soldier who has seen enough horrors of war has the wounds she has. Alkaid looks away as an expression of shame crosses her eyes. She had fought so hard for the First; to save it and the Source. She fought and pushed through in order to come home to Aymeric so they might finally be wed; the war with the Empire be damned.

What was given to her as her reward? Nightmares and fears that she cannot seem to shake no matter how hard she tries. And now, she may very well lose the very reason she held onto through all of it. Her other hand pulls from his to cover the one that wears the engagement ring. The tips of her fingers brush back and forth over the jewels.

She was supposed to come home. Instead, she feels all she can give Aymeric now is a shadow of herself when he deserves so much more.

Estinien is indeed on the other side of the door that leads into the suite. The room beyond the bedroom remains empty, save for what Tataru brought earlier. ]

[elpides]

[ Knowing what she knows now, she can hardly begrudge him for any of the choices he made. And although a part of her still remains somewhat put out by the timing of it all, above all of that, she knows that he was rather desperate, and also that time was of the essence. So, to that end, obtaining dinner for them both is the very least she could do for him. ]

One day, I hope that you'll actually take the time to rest, because it seems to be that you don't do that enough. [ And a thought springs to mind then that she is quick to push away, because it is too forward even for her, and she wonders if he would even want such a thing. ]

I imagine if you had mentioned that to me during our meetings in Ishgard, I might have looked at you a little strangely. Or a lot, I suppose. [ The smile she gives him is warm, but there is a note of teasing in it as well. ]

If we had been overheard, that wouldn't have gone well for anyone.

[ She tilts her head to one side as if pondering his words. ] I think that you and the Scions got along quite well, considering they were never meant to come to the First. And from what I've heard from Alphinaud and Alisaie, at least, I think they are glad they met you, even if- Well, even if Alisaie might not say so out loud.

[thewayforpeace]

What does it matter? [ In spite of himself, and certainly in spite of what the primal might say or think, a ripple of something akin to frustration courses through him. He is not angry with her, but all he really wishes is for her to be well and to care for herself. Even the primal's influence cannot drown that out. ] Are you so quick to give up?

[ He shakes his head and he lowers his hands from her face as they clench into fists. ] How is it that you are so determined to give me aid, but you cannot spare a moment to do the same for yourself?

[ For just a moment, the remnant of Aymeric that remains chooses to speak up. ]

Do you not believe that I will do whatever I must to ensure that everything that ails you, whether of the mind or the body, ceases to do so?

[ If anything, his resolve to help her however he can also helps ground him in turn, even if it is a fragile hold. ]

Can you not find it in you to trust in that, and to be confident in it?

[ Perhaps he ought not to question her so, but he finds that he is unable to hold back those words. ]

[shepherdtostars]

N-no, that's...

[ Her eyes widen as his hands move away from her. That part of her that struggles so much all that she saw on the First practically screams at the idea he has pulled away from her. What if she has finally upset him enough that he might not wish to be with her? Would it be enough to steer him in to the hold of King Thordan?

Her hands begin to shake uncontrollably as she timidly reaches back out for his. Fingers brush along the back of his hands in a way to ask if she might hold onto them again. She has done her utmost to keep herself together as best she can throughout this whole affair. Even when his stagnating aether towards a particular element causes such a deep panic and fear inside her. Not that this is anything similar to the sin eaters, but, it is too far for comfort in her mind.

If at all possible, her ears flatten further against her head as her eyes close to keep the tears that threaten to shed at bay. Alkaid tucks her head down to hide her shame and what she feels is disgrace. ]

...you deserve so much more--better than me... [ Alkaid wishes she might curl into a ball underneath the covers and hide from him as she speaks. Instead, her head dips further as her shoulders begin to shake the same as her hands are. ] I fought so hard to come home to you--just as I promised I would... so much pain, and sorrow, and hopelessness... a-and I always feared that when I came home, the Empire would have taken you away, w-when I couldn't be there to save you...

...instead it was me--I'm the one who is broken; who came home different.

[ She has answered any question he may ever ask of the First and the state of the reflection. Not that she expects him to remember it through the haze the primal has placed upon his mind. He most certainly has no idea of what she speaks of or why it has troubled her so. He would have no recollections of the nights she curled up in blankets endlessly awake out of fear of nightmares, or waking because of them. She had thought herself improving--bettering--overcoming it all. She feels as if she truly was not improving and merely lying to herself because Aymeric had been there to help ease the pain of it all.

Now, King Thordan has been summoned, and enslaved her knight and she can do little more than help care for him and beg him not to stop fighting.

Tears finally start to cascade down her cheeks despite how much she screams within herself not to. ]

I'm sorry, [ Alkaid turns her cheek into the blanket in an attempt to stop the tears and put herself back together. ] I'm sorry--you deserve better and I...

[thewayforpeace]

[ His hands do come back to join with hers, almost as though he never pulled them away. But the words that he had so freely spoken just moments ago seem to have fled, replaced by something that is not an entirely unresponsive state but rather one that is so conflicted by his internal struggle that the power of speech is momentarily suppressed.

His shoulders shake just as hers are, as emotions boil up in response to her own desperate and emotion-filled words. How can he tell her that the only person he wants or will ever want is her? The primal in his mind moves angrily at that thought, but even the grip of King Thordan is not enough to dislodge that from Aymeric's mind.

It does not matter to him, to his true self, that Alkaid has returned from her struggles a changed person. It does not, nor will it, matter that she came back with some terrible scars from everything she lived through. What he would do if only he could is pull her into his arms for a hug that he intends to never end. If she needs him and his comfort, he wants to be right there to give it to her.

It does not matter to him if the cost of what he is about to do is his strength or his ability to speak to her. Neither does it matter of King Thordan turns on him once and for all. What little he has managed to retain of himself is speaking loud and clear, and there is only one thing he can do if his words aren't enough to tell her how much he still loves her.

He leans in, not needing to move very far given how close to him she still is, and he lightly presses a kiss onto her lips. Either she will recoil or she will sink into the kiss, as he hopes, but he knows that her upset is deep enough that she may very well not respond to the kiss at all. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her hands curl into his hold as she would if he could hold her. She knows more than anything that she must rest and care for herself so t hat she might tend to the rest of his wounds. Rest, bathe, eat--just as she has helped him do. Yet, the fear of King Thordan taking him away or her inability keep him stable as he is practically paralyzes her in doing so. Just as it her nightmares truly keep her from sleeping as she might need.

There is no doubt in her mind that he still loves her and wishes to care for her. Even as the primal's influence tries to pull him away and stagnate his aether? He has made it clear as he can--multiple times--that he intends to fight to remain with those he cares for. It is not him she doubts, nor their bond , but herself and how capable she might be to meet any of his needs or wants beyond being what his tempered self first saw her as: a useful healer.

She does not simply sink into the kiss, but puts herself entirely into the motion. That side that speaks of logic and clarity reminds her yet again that the primal may lash out and do more harm to him; harm that she would be directly responsible for. Yet, the need to be loved and comforted by him pushes past the logic and the guilt. Her eyes remain closed even as she presses her lips to his and presses her body against him. The hands still tremble in his hold.

It is a rare occurance, but through the notion, she asks for his aid for her ownself. She knows that deep down, she is still the same woman he fell in love with. The same soul with wide eyes to wander the world and heal any and all of any ailments. The woman who simple cares so much she rose to be the Warrior of Light with her sister. She just seems so far away after everything...

Alkaid tilts her head only slightly to deepen the kiss. ]