[ She might not expect it, but he desperately yearns to tell her how he truly feels about her: she is not merely his friend but someone he has grown to love and care for immensely, perhaps even more than he cares about himself. And yet, at the moment, his people need a leader and that lot has fallen to him, so for the time being, he must remain at the helm. He sincerely hopes that a time comes when he can lay all of his true thoughts and feelings bare, but that might be a long time coming. ]
Of course. Our numbers may have dwindled somewhat of late, but there are still enough knights who remain that can be dispatched anywhere, depending on the need. [ He ponders Alkaid's words concerning Y'shtola. ] Well, if she is willing, I would gladly have her assistance. And of course, to have your sister's aid alongside yours is always a benefit, as well.
[ He lets out a lengthy sigh, his worries that they have not treated the two sisters or the Scions well still gnawing at him. ]
Nevertheless, if any one of you finds myself or my people lacking, I would hear of it so that I might rectify the error.
[ His eyes slide closed as she brushes her thumbs against his face. Something inside him best classified as terrifying heartache begins to break through the walls that he has so carefully built. And even as he wrestles with the churning emotions deep inside him, he fears her reactions and the words she might say.
Protecting his home and his people is more important to him than anything, and he fears more than anything else seeing Ishgard lost, and her people with it. All it would take is one misdirection, and that fear could become reality.
He feels his hands begin to shake, and out of embarrassment, he clenches them into fists, willing the movement to stop. ]
I am ready. [ He has to steel himself and his resolve, and a note of steeliness sounds in his voice even as his fears continue to rail at him. ] I must be, and I will not give Nidhogg an even greater opening than the one he already has.
[ He can see the faces of Ishgard's children and their families in his mind's eye, and he knows that it is for them and everyone else who calls Ishgard home that he fights. ]
I can safely tell you one thing: I may have doubts and uncertainties, but I have not lost sight of that vision. [ Although it has been a struggle to keep his focus where it needs to be, as he is certain she knows. ] Peace will come to Ishgard, if it is the last thing that I do.
What else troubles me?
[ Now his head dips a little, because to put into words what he has kept inside is difficult for him.
As before, he pauses, but when he speaks, his tone of voice has deepened, betraying the emotions associated with his fears. ]
I can hardly begin to speak of it. [ Simply because he hasn't dared even hint at any of this with anyone, not even Lucia, who he trusts without question. ]
no subject
Of course. Our numbers may have dwindled somewhat of late, but there are still enough knights who remain that can be dispatched anywhere, depending on the need. [ He ponders Alkaid's words concerning Y'shtola. ] Well, if she is willing, I would gladly have her assistance. And of course, to have your sister's aid alongside yours is always a benefit, as well.
[ He lets out a lengthy sigh, his worries that they have not treated the two sisters or the Scions well still gnawing at him. ]
Nevertheless, if any one of you finds myself or my people lacking, I would hear of it so that I might rectify the error.
[ His eyes slide closed as she brushes her thumbs against his face. Something inside him best classified as terrifying heartache begins to break through the walls that he has so carefully built. And even as he wrestles with the churning emotions deep inside him, he fears her reactions and the words she might say.
Protecting his home and his people is more important to him than anything, and he fears more than anything else seeing Ishgard lost, and her people with it. All it would take is one misdirection, and that fear could become reality.
He feels his hands begin to shake, and out of embarrassment, he clenches them into fists, willing the movement to stop. ]
I am ready. [ He has to steel himself and his resolve, and a note of steeliness sounds in his voice even as his fears continue to rail at him. ] I must be, and I will not give Nidhogg an even greater opening than the one he already has.
[ He can see the faces of Ishgard's children and their families in his mind's eye, and he knows that it is for them and everyone else who calls Ishgard home that he fights. ]
I can safely tell you one thing: I may have doubts and uncertainties, but I have not lost sight of that vision. [ Although it has been a struggle to keep his focus where it needs to be, as he is certain she knows. ] Peace will come to Ishgard, if it is the last thing that I do.
What else troubles me?
[ Now his head dips a little, because to put into words what he has kept inside is difficult for him.
As before, he pauses, but when he speaks, his tone of voice has deepened, betraying the emotions associated with his fears. ]
I can hardly begin to speak of it. [ Simply because he hasn't dared even hint at any of this with anyone, not even Lucia, who he trusts without question. ]