[ She is certainly not wrong in her supposition about him and his manner during that first meeting. In spite of his inner wish to be open and forthcoming as much as he can, he came to the conclusion long ago that the scope of his position does not allow for that. He must be guarded and wary, and yes, even unwilling to trust those with whom his path crosses, at least initially. To lower his guard means inviting trouble, and trouble has an unfortunate way of trickling down and landing on others who may be unprepared for it.
Now that he has become more acquainted with her, and dare he say, even fond of her, his desire to lower even more of his walls has grown stronger, and yet he finds himself hesitating even so. His actions have always had the potential to bring harm to others, and that is the last thing that he wants.
Even so, he intends to at least attempt bridging the self-imposed gap that he has made between himself and other people. He has always had allies, of course, but in moments of reflection, it seems to him that he has always kept people at arms' length, even when he does let them into his life a little. It does make for somewhat of a lonely time, even if it still feels to him like a necessity. ]
Yes, and please let me know how she responds. It is no trouble at all to make other arrangements for you both.
[ As for her efforts to see the man beneath the titles and responsibilities, part of him did recognize the attempt for what it was and appreciates it. But for as long as he can remember, ever since he set his sights on doing what he could for his nation and his people, he has always put duty first and his personal desires second. Or fifth, depending on the need.
He would maintain that he has not lost sight of who he is, but being the Lord Commander of the Temple Knights is a major part of his identity, and he would also be the first to admit that at times, it is difficult to separate that person from the young man whose chief desire has been to serve where he can and protect those who require it. The two sides of him seem so closely intertwined that perhaps there is no separating them.
But he halts his musings because there is someone who deserves his full attention, and he means to give it to her without reservation.
He too can recall their first meeting, and how he was compelled to decline the request put before him because that was the response he was told to give by the Holy See and those in higher authority than him. It is easy for him to imagine that he did not make many friends that day, but he felt as though he had no other choice.
Now, however, he does have a choice, and at the moment, his choice is to let his heart lead. ]
If I might say this, I am glad that we have had this opportunity to meet and converse in relative private. [ Is it too soon for him to make this proclamation? His smile remains where it is, but a hint of apprehension creeps into his eyes as he considers what actions he should take. But he will never know unless he takes the chance, because who knows when they might have an opportunity such as this again?
And of course, this meeting is not wholly private given where they are, but he imagines that a place like the Forgotten Knight has enough hustle and bustle to allow for a somewhat private conversation. Still, he is not naive enough to believe that people have noticed both of their presences here. ]
But if you are ready, I know just the place that I would be honored, even delighted, to show you.
no subject
Now that he has become more acquainted with her, and dare he say, even fond of her, his desire to lower even more of his walls has grown stronger, and yet he finds himself hesitating even so. His actions have always had the potential to bring harm to others, and that is the last thing that he wants.
Even so, he intends to at least attempt bridging the self-imposed gap that he has made between himself and other people. He has always had allies, of course, but in moments of reflection, it seems to him that he has always kept people at arms' length, even when he does let them into his life a little. It does make for somewhat of a lonely time, even if it still feels to him like a necessity. ]
Yes, and please let me know how she responds. It is no trouble at all to make other arrangements for you both.
[ As for her efforts to see the man beneath the titles and responsibilities, part of him did recognize the attempt for what it was and appreciates it. But for as long as he can remember, ever since he set his sights on doing what he could for his nation and his people, he has always put duty first and his personal desires second. Or fifth, depending on the need.
He would maintain that he has not lost sight of who he is, but being the Lord Commander of the Temple Knights is a major part of his identity, and he would also be the first to admit that at times, it is difficult to separate that person from the young man whose chief desire has been to serve where he can and protect those who require it. The two sides of him seem so closely intertwined that perhaps there is no separating them.
But he halts his musings because there is someone who deserves his full attention, and he means to give it to her without reservation.
He too can recall their first meeting, and how he was compelled to decline the request put before him because that was the response he was told to give by the Holy See and those in higher authority than him. It is easy for him to imagine that he did not make many friends that day, but he felt as though he had no other choice.
Now, however, he does have a choice, and at the moment, his choice is to let his heart lead. ]
If I might say this, I am glad that we have had this opportunity to meet and converse in relative private. [ Is it too soon for him to make this proclamation? His smile remains where it is, but a hint of apprehension creeps into his eyes as he considers what actions he should take. But he will never know unless he takes the chance, because who knows when they might have an opportunity such as this again?
And of course, this meeting is not wholly private given where they are, but he imagines that a place like the Forgotten Knight has enough hustle and bustle to allow for a somewhat private conversation. Still, he is not naive enough to believe that people have noticed both of their presences here. ]
But if you are ready, I know just the place that I would be honored, even delighted, to show you.