synthneon | FF PSL | ❝ for those we can yet save. ❞

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FF PSL | ❝ for those we can yet save. ❞

AFTERGLOW

— hear, feel think. —

❄️ HEAVENSWARD

★ Ever Heavensward (3.0)
    — Ishgard Meetings, Part 2

★ As Goes Light, So Goes Darkness (3.1)
    — Unfleeting Emotions

★ The Gears of Change (3.2)
    — Heavy Hearts, Part 2

★ Revenge of the Horde (3.3)
    — Starlight Festival (Alkaid)
    — Starlight Festival (KP)

🔥 STORMBLOOD

★ IC Permission
★ IC Permission
★ IC Permission
★ IC Permission
★ IC Permission

BEYOND

CODE BY TESSISAMESS

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[ As he waits for her reaction, he notes how it feels as though his heart has lept up to lodge itself firmly in his throat. With one word, she could cut down all his hopes and desires for the future- their future. But with another, she could make him the happiest man alive. The letter she wrote him seems to confirm that she desires a future with him, but he still cannot hold back the fear that threatens to firmly grip onto him as he waits.

He notices immediately that she is crying, and he fears that he has offended her, even hurt her somehow. ]

If this is not what you wish or what you desire, you... You do not have to accept.

[ He imagines not for the first time that perhaps someone whom she truly loves is out there waiting. But how does that explain the words she wrote to you? A small voice counters that thought. She strikes him as far too honest to even consider trying to placate him with pretty words and false promises. That does not seem in keeping with her nature, and so he refuses to accept it. ]

If I have upset you, I am sorry.

[ He does not have time to respond further, because suddenly, she is pressing herself against him, face buried in his chest. He sees her nod, and that is the precise moment when his heart leaps up yet again, not into his throat, but simply out of sheer joy and exhilaration that she has accepted. ]

K'lantaa. [ He takes one step back, but only so that he might reach for her to attempt drying her tears. ]

Please, if you will allow me the honor. [ He reaches for the box still holding the ring as he lowers himself to the ground until he is resting on one knee.

If she relinquishes her hold on the box, then he will reach for one of her hands so that he is holding it with one hand and the ring with the other. ]

Ah, the sort that wishes to know nothing. Yet... you ask constant questions of me. An interesting contradiction of sorts. [ The Crystal Exarch smiles playfully at her. It would seem he is not old enough where he has forgotten how to jest. ] If one had the intention to inspire when they set forth on their journey, it might never work. Confidence is one thing and yet arrogance is another. A trait that neither of you have.

...Yes. They do indeed.

[ His head tilts up to look at the snow cloud covered sky again. Beneath the hood, the warm ruby eyes stare at a world he has not seen at peace in so long... so very, very long. ]

A sword? Which discipline had you aspired towards? [ The Crystal Exarch tilts his head and his voice is filled with a sudden source of wonder. Never had he thought she might wield a weapon other than that of her tome. ] So, our hero saved by another. Very fitting... and your sister? What inspired her?

Oh, but when it comes to things and people that I am interested in, then I wish to know everything. Or what they decide they can tell me. [ She says this with a playful sort of smile of her own, not yet realizing that she has just admitted to being interested in him, in a sort of indirect way. When she does, she might find herself just slightly embarrassed by how quickly she stated that. ]

Well, I thought (briefly, because this did not last for long) that I might train as a gladiator. [ She laughs at herself, because now she can hardly imagine herself wielding a heavy sword and shield. The tomes that she is most familiar with are more fitting. ] Alkaid always wanted to be a healer.

[ Here, her smile turns fond as she recalls a memory from their childhood. ]

When we were both younger, she would often heal my various scrapes or cuts from being too- Well, playful, I suppose. My mother never liked it when I did that, so Alkaid would help me so that she wouldn't find out.

[ Alkaid glances up at her sister and gives a gentle smile. A hand lifts from her lap and pats the ground beside her. She'd prefer if K'thisru would sit with her than stand awkwardly. There is no expectation for her sister to ever stand around. In fact, it stands out to her that she does. Usually her sister is far more... direct. ]

It's away from everyone. [ She nods and turns her gaze back up to the sky. ] I think I became too accustomed with the quiet from Ishgard.

[ As well as many other things.

Alkaid sighs and closes her eyes. She does her best not to really say what -- who -- she misses. ]

We're both usually out and about with the camps and seeing how people are. What brings you up here?

Then you should make certain you are in the best frame of mind to give such orders. Even if that means only an hour or so of sleep. [ There is a tone of playful scolding in her voice, but in earnest, she does truly wish for him to find some form of reprieve. He will need it in the coming hours and days more than he most certainly wishes to admit. ] If need be, I will put you to bed myself.

[ Her head shakes at his apology. There is no need for it. She loves him, even if she feels she cannot say it. He is still a man even if he is the Lord Commander. Men need reprieve, to rest, to breathe. Aymeric may insist all he wishes... but what he struggles with is much for anyone in the star. ]

Far from it. I wonder from time to time if my mother would be proud to say her daughter is none other but one of Warriors of Light. [ She believes she also knows the answer to such a thing, but, will certainly not say that to him now. Not when he struggles so. ] The beliefs they raised you with are the foundation for your path forward and the choices you make. I am certain they would be proud that you rose to the occasion when none else would. You have done more for Ishgard even if they cannot see it yet.

They will see it though. Just give them time, Aymeric.

[ In truth, she had never thought that this moment to be capable of happening with anyone. Not unless she returned to her tribe and settled for the idea of sharing her mate with others. She had resigned herself to traveling and enriching the lives of others, and in return, finding fulfillment in that. It is not an empty or hollow experience at all. The things she has seen, the things she and her sister have done...

Despite the tears, she tilts her head back to smile up at him. He hasn't upset her at all. She may yet find the words to share why she has reacted the way she has. It may not be instantaneous, but, she is certain she will before the end of the night. He is owed that.

Her smile widens as he places the ring on her finger. She does nothing to stop him of course. Her fingers are stretched out so he can easily slip the ring on her finger. Part of her wonders how he had it sized--did he look to see what size her rings were when they sat on the table stand? She may need to ask him that later as well.

Alkaid lets out a shaky exhale as she forces the emotions in her throat down. ]

Lantaa. [ There is no correction in how he says her name or it at all. Instead, it is more like permission given. ] The "K" is our tribe. Family has no need for it.

[ Another smaller way of her saying 'yes.' ]

Hmm. So, one who wishes to know and people and places first hand, and not through dusty tomes. I am afraid to disappoint you in that small regard. Most of what I am aware of and know come from dusty tomes. [ A chuckle comes from him then. ] While it has its merits, one cannot replace the knowledge of knowing a person versus reading of them.

[ Which is an indirect way of referring to her and her sister. He wishes they had this time when he was a younger man. Had he been more forward, had the tale allowed him thus. As such, he must take what he can now, and treasure it while he can. ]

A true partner-in-crime since the beginning. A truly dangerous pair the two of you make. [ The smile on his face points to amusement even if he shakes his head. ] What is the whole of Eorzea to do with you?

[ Exactly why she stood back and waited, rather than just approach her sister without hesitation, she doesn't know. She has never worried overly much about bothering her, but something caused her hesitation. Still, she doesn't miss how Alkaid pats the ground in invitation, and so she moves to sit beside her. ]

It is. Away from everyone, and you can hear yourself think. [ Never mind that of the two of them, Alkaid is the more thoughtful one, more given over to moments of reflection.

But at the moment, K'thisru feels like doing a little reflecting of her own. ]

I wish that we could have stayed in Ishgard a little while longer. [ She doesn't mind admitting that; duty and responsibility brought them here, but Ishgard has begun to feel like a sort of home to her, even if she doesn't have the same sort of attachment to it that her sister does. ]

I did a little of that, but it was getting too loud for me. [ She idly toys with a corner of the tome she carries with her as she considers the rest of her answer. ]

And I wanted to see how you were doing. [ She's certain that Alkaid would have remained in Ishgard if she could have, because she also grew fond of the place and of a certain Lord Commander turned Speaker. ]

Edited 2021-12-29 04:16 (UTC)

[ She lets out a laugh that sounds a little like a scoff, but it is more amused than anything else, and she hopes he realizes that. ] Disappoint me? I'm not disappointed. I would not have gotten this far without an appreciation for those dusty tomes.

What about those who are long since gone? Reading of them is how they stay alive. [ She can't help but wonder how she and Alkaid will be remembered, or if they will eventually fade into obscurity as time passes. That does seem to be the natural progression of time, of course.

And then a fond smile comes to her face in response to his last somewhat teasing question. ]

That is what our mothers used to say to both of us. I almost forgot about that until you said it.

[ Similarly, he never dared dream of a moment like this or even that he might love someone like this before he met her. Oh, he always knew that the time might come when he would meet someone and come to love them, or enter an understanding with another, so as to extend his family's line. But what has happened between himself and Alkaid is far more than he ever hoped for. Part of him still feels as though this all must be a dream, and that he will awaken to either find her gone to her next adventure or realize that he imagined her affections for him.

Either thought gives him pause, and he thanks Halone that this is not the case. ]

Lantaa. [ As before, he tries out the name, finding that he loves the sound of it and how it feels to say it too.

But then his hold on her hands tightens just slightly, and a question spills out before he can stop it. ]

Does that mean, then, that you accept both my proposal and me and what gifts I can offer you?

[ He holds his breath then, a part of him still believing that she could recant her words and her decision if he so much as lets one exhale escape. ]

[ Seldom does he let emotions other than staunch resolve and determination and a sort of patriotic pride show. On occasion, he has even managed to be absolutely joyful, just as he was when the conference was set to begin. That, of course, was short-lived. What he refuses to let anyone see are emotions that he believes belong to a much younger Aymeric, one who was far less in control of himself than he is now.

They almost boiled over following the death of his father; not the one who raised him, although that was a particularly trying time in itself, but the one who never accepted him, either publicly or privately. Of course, they were never close, but the remnants of that young man who desperately (perhaps foolishly) wanted to form some kind of connection with him felt a keen sense of loss and regret for something that never had a chance and could never be. ]

Of course I shall make certain of it, whether I sleep tonight or not. [ He knows how to play his part and to do it to the best of his ability. A setback like this, or whatever it might be called, will not stop him from doing his duty. ]

Although... [ He manages a small smile, because in spite of everything, he finds himself amused by the notion of her putting him to bed. ] If you were to do that, I would not complain. [ Is he serious or jesting? Perhaps even he doesn't know.

And if it were not too forward and bound to lead to trouble, he would ask that she join him. He has no desire to cause a scandal involving either of them, so naturally, he refrains from saying that.

His smile is quick to fade, however, as he ponders what his fellow Ishgardians must be thinking. He will give them all the time that they need, but what he truly fears is his own fallibility and how simple a thing it would be for him to take a misstep as did Thordan and bring Ishgard down with him. ]

I fear that should I make a wrong decision, I will betray the ones who raised me and all of Ishgard as well.

[ He remains positioned where he is, with his head resting against her, and although his expression remains fairly placid and his hands now stilled from their earlier involuntary movements, his grip on her tightens as his doubt rises.

After a moment, however, he finds his voice once more, and he tries to interject as much certainty into it as he can. ]

The plans that we have made, rough as they are, nevertheless are a sound foundation to build upon. [ They require some fine-tuning and further development, but he believes they can be turned into the solid plans that he needs them to be. ]

[ Her fingers continue to run through his hair, smirking gently at the playful remark. She would rather hope he is serious about the notion. However, as she mentioned to her sister, she has no real sense of what his stance is on things outside of wedlock. Not that she has even begun to really entertain the idea of marriage. How could he wish such a thing when, most certainly, her position of a Savior of Ishgard could do damage to his image? He would need to keep his prospects open for a more respectable Ishgardian woman to wed... start a family with...

The idea causes her heart to beat painfully. Alkaid is no stranger to sacrifice and knows that sometimes what one wants must be given up for greater things to happen. As much as she would wish to have a life in Ishgard with him? It may not truly be realistic. ]

I believe the only way you might betray the mother and father that raised you would be to turn back on the principles and lessons they taught you. I very much doubt you would do such a thing. Your birth father may have been the Archbishop, but, your mother and father were the ones who taught you the lessons that make you are who you are today. I would not begin to even fathom the idea that they would be ever disappointed in you... nor are you betraying them.

Bring the plans to Lucia in the morning. She will help craft and form them as they are needed. She is your second-in-command, Aymeric. The person you trust the most. She would do whatever you ask her to. So, trust in her help lead the protection of Ishgard and not to shoulder all burdens on yourself.

[ Then, her hands slip from the back of his head to cradle him once more. She guides him to look up at her. Her gaze is gentle with just a hint of mischief with a smile on her face. ]

I was very serious about the notion. I would gladly put you to bed if it means you would rest for even an hour or two. [ Alkaid leans forward and places a light kiss to his lips. Truth be told that she had wanted to kiss him all night, but felt it would be unwanted or in poor spirit to. ]

[ The sound of her proper name - no titles or tribal traditions attached - makes a warm smile spread on her face. Her heart all but flutters as her fingers curl around his hand. A gentle laugh comes at his question. ]

Aymeric, you've no need to give me gifts. You've given my sister and I a home in your city. You've asked me to join your family. All that I would ever dream to ask from you would be your time and affection.

[ She laughs again -- this time at herself -- before reaching up and trying to brush away the remainder of her tears. Then, in one graceful and gentle motion, she leans forward to kiss the corner of his mouth. ]

If you have need to hear the word, then, yes.

If only it was thinking I have been occupying myself with.

[ One might think that is all she might do as the Warrior of Light. Thinking more on what must be done, what should be done. The next step in their plans or how to help people best. Instead, she has simply been looking at the stars and feeling. The feelings of missing her newfound home, of longing for the man who asked her to marry him. Somehow it has managed to take hold and been more of a focus than the worries of the people in Rhalgr's Reach once night descended.

She glances at the tome then raises h er gaze back to her sister. ]

I miss home, Thisru. [ She smiles sadly then. ] I don't regret coming here and aiding the people who might need us. I can never tell someone no if they ask for my help, you know that. Even if part of me desperately wishes to say 'no' and be selfish for once.

[ She looks down to her hands then. Her fingers unhook from the half glove she wears to reveal her engagement ring. It rolls gently on her finger as she turns it here and there. It feels as if half of her will always be in Ishgard. ]

What do you think of everything that has happened? Coming here, and then seeing what the people struggle with. About... Lyse.

Edited 2021-12-30 01:34 (UTC)

Quite right... you are a summoner. Tomes and learning to form the arcane into your desired shape is an element of your trade. And, a certain arcane form is one you prefer the most out of all, if memory serves. [ His head tilts with his hand to his chin for just a moment in thought. Not that he need remember what the form is; he very much knows at the front of his mind. ] A carbuncle.

They live through song, traditions, hopes and dreams passed down to one another. [ The Crystal Exarch's tone quiets at that. His ruby eyes move to the ground in front of them. ] Or, if not passed down, then most certainly entrusted to.

The humble beginnings of the Warriors of Light are certainly a tale that I would like to hear. I must admit, very little has been ever said or read of the topic.

[ A fleeting thought enters her mind then, and although she does her best to push it aside, it is too stubborn to go away that easily. It seems that he knows so much about her, while she knows very little about him, and that bothers her more than she cares to admit.

And, well, not being one to hold back her feelings or mince words, she asks: ] And what- Who are you? The Crystal Exarch, but what does that mean? What is your trade, and what things do you prefer most?

[ Before she can hold it back, she finds herself adding: ] Someone should write a song or a story about Haurchefant, and Ysayle too.

[ She laughs again. ] That wouldn't be a very interesting story, at least not at first.

[ That admission just makes her worry about her sister more, and she scoots over a little closer because she just wants to be next to her. ]

Well, if you want to talk about it, you know that I'll listen.

[ She wants to know what her sister is thinking and feeling, and she wants to help her with it too, if she can. Of course she knows a little about how she feels, perhaps even more than just a little. The Warrior of Light has clear responsibilities and duties, but that is not all the two of them are. And while K'thisru might be (for the moment) unattached, Alkaid certainly is not. She can only imagine how much her sister must be missing Ishgard and the man she left waiting there for her: the man who very clearly loves her and wants to start a family with her. ]

I know you do; I miss it too. [ She already knows that she could make a home for herself in the place they've recently left, and she hopes that their paths will lead them back there one day. ] Not as much as you do, I'm sure, but-

[ She shakes her head. ] Well, the good thing is, there are two of us.

[ She smiles at her sister, holding out a hand, intending to give her a fond squeeze. ] You could return to Ishgard, and I can help Alisaie and Lyse here.

[ She frowns a little at the mention of Lyse's name, but she carries on regardless. ]

Alphinaud is here as well, and Raubahn. [ She ought to use his proper title, but no one will overhear them up here.

When Alkaid reveals the engagement ring that she now wears, K'thisru glances down at it with an equally fond sort of smile. ] It really is a beautiful ring, and it suits you.

[ And Aymeric, of course, as the one who chose it. ]

I think that it all moved so quickly, but isn't that how things seem to work? As for the people here, I do want to help them.

Lyse... [ She frowns and shakes her head again. ] She should have told us. If not her, then surely one of the Scions could have. Even a partial explanation is better than no explanation at all.

[ He pauses in his steps in order to look at her. Although she cannot see his face underneath, save for the lower half, one might tell his gaze has softened. Oh, how he does long to tell her all that he can. The boyish dream of being recognized by his heroes, to have them see what lengths he has gone to ensure the future of their star. Yet... simple praises and recognition are not why has done what he has. It is the safety of their star, and the safety of the Warriors of Light, that matters the most. ]

As I have said, I am the leader of a group of people. Though they are the ones who have built what we call home. I have understandings of arcane magicks and patches of history of our star.

[ What does he prefer most? Hm. A broad question. Perhaps she will specify. ]

You should speak to Count de Fortemps.

[ A vague statement, but he shall not explain too many details of the future. He knows she wishes him to speak of it but... ]

That depends on the one listening to the story. I, for one, would rather enjoy hearing the tale.

[ He has long since realized that he much prefers her proper name to the one she uses on a daily basis. Of course, without her express permission, he would not dare use it, because it is clear that it is more than a name. It has meaning attached to it, and that is part of what makes it special. ]

Oh, but I do. I could spend my entire life telling you how important you are to me, and showing that to you with actions and yes, gifts, if needed. It cannot be said that such things are undeserved.

[ His smile widens, and he adds: ] I would give you the entire world if I thought that it would give you cause to smile. You shall always have my time and my affection, and all the love that I can give.

[ When she leans forward to plant that kiss, he does the same, wanting to pour all his love and adoration into that one gesture, while also knowing that there will be many more gestures like it to come. ]

[ If only time would allow it, he would gladly remain like this with her close beside him and her fingers running through his hair. The action is calming, and although his thoughts and feelings both feel incredibly raw, having her nearby is soothing some of the hurt and weight he's been carrying.

While he very much desires to lie down next to her, he knows that he could not knowingly carry out the same actions that his birth father had done. Perhaps nothing would happen, and the outcome would be different, but he is not willing to leave that to chance. Perhaps if they were linked together as a couple, intending to marry, it would be different, but he would not dare even dream of such a thing. Surely she would not wish to settle down with someone like him, who will always have oaths and responsibilities to others that need to be fulfilled.

He could not tie her down and prevent her from living whatever sort of life she wishes to have. He, too, knows that sacrifices are often necessary, and he has told himself he must do his best to not let his heart grow too fond of her.

Never mind that those particular seeds may well have been planted. ]

I would never, as I am certain you know. [ Her very next words confirm that, and he nods as if to underline it further. ] Would that they had lived longer, that I might ask for their thoughts and their approval if they would give it. Even if all they had to offer was disapproval, I would take that in stride as well.

[ He lets out a sigh then, because he still cannot help but question himself and the decisions he has made thus far. ]

If only I had your confidence. [ He has confidence in his people, and in Lucia and the Temple Knights. He even has the confidence to present a bold and determined exterior when in the company of others. That he is presently gripped by his fears and doubts should not detract from that; or at least, that is what he hopes. When morning comes, everything that transpired this night will have to be nothing more than a memory.

The mask of the Lord Commander must slip firmly back in place, and he means to ensure that it does. ]

Of course. Who better to assist with the crafting of plans than her? And, again, I am not ungrateful for your assistance. This- [ He points to his scrawled notes. ] This clearly would have been a lacking effort if not for you.

[ Still, those burdens weigh quite heavily on his shoulders even now, and although he does not resist, allowing her to guide him where she will, the look of one who is weary of carrying such a weight on his own for so long is plainly written in his gaze. ]

Then I too am very serious. You also must rest, for I am sure you are every bit as tired, perhaps more.

[ If not for the complete impropriety of it, he would invite her into his bed, that they could lie together and offer each other what comfort they could. The idea still calls to him, but he knows it would be wholly foolish and would bring disgrace to House Borel if anyone were to learn of it.

Instead, he settles for leaning into the kiss and deepening it just slightly. ]

[ Her eyes close before she leans over and rests her head against K'thisru's shoulder. A small sigh follows. ]

Is there much to say other than 'I miss it.'

[ There is always a pang when she sees those who are married or obviously a couple together. She can only imagine it will grow the longer they are embroiled in the fight in Gry Abania. ]

We both know that they will need both of us. Simple things as I want can't take thr forefront when we are in the middle of a war. This war is against man... not dragons.

[ The ring twists on her finger at the compliment. ]

I was in Gridania when Papalymo and Yda found me. They eventually offered to take me to the Scions. All that time, and Lyse never once told me she... [ Then, an angry sigh. ] Any of them should of told us. She should have! How can I trust what they are hiding now? How is it fair they ask us to risk our lives day in and day our doe their causes and their struggles but they refused to tell us?!

[ Her hands clench. ] she recruited me but had the audacity to lie to me the whole time!

[ The answer, while not unexpected, does not tell her everything she wishes to know about him. But she merely nods, finally deciding to accept that until whatever time he decides is right, she will just have to accept that this is the way things are.

She reasons that surely he can tell her a little about his personal preferences: pastimes, likes and dislikes, that sort of thing. ]

When you aren't leading, what do you do with yourself? [ She imagines that like all leaders, the times when he isn't being one are rare, but everyone must have some periods of downtime, however brief. ]

I know you can't tell me very much, but can you tell me what your favorite foods are? [ It might seem silly, even inconsequential, but at this point, she'll take learning what she can about him. ]

[ She doesn't move, remaining as still as possible, but she moves one arm over so that she can wrap it around her sister and hold on tightly. ]

I'm sorry, Lantaa.

[ She can't know everything her sister feels, but she can at least imagine that she feels incomplete and most certainly lonely without Aymeric at her side. ]

I would just as soon have you here with me, but not if you're unhappy and missing- Well, everything. There are other healers, you know.

[ Privately, she believes no one is a better healer than her sister, but what she wants more than anything is for her to be happy, and she clearly isn't right now. ]

I'll give whatever explanations I have to, but you could just quietly leave while everyone is distracted with other things. We'll be all right, Lantaa.

[ Her expression shifts again to one more thoughtful and pensive as her sister vents her anger about what Lyse and the Scions decided to do. ]

It isn't right. They should not have kept that a secret from us, and especially not from you. [ Shaking her head, K'thisru frowns. ] I don't know if I can trust her either, not after this. Work alongside her? Maybe. Trust her again?

[ She isn't sure. ]

Do you ever think that we should have joined with another order?

[ Her weight leans into her sister's hold. Usually, it is the other way around. There is no complaining or the fact being pointed out. Just a measure of exhaustion that may not simply be physical. ]

We both know it isn't because I'm a healer, Thisru. It's because we are the Warriors of Light. We're not just us anymore. We're a status, a figure, heroes. We can't just go running off if we feel like it now.

[ Her tail bristles slightly. ] I'm not sure I want to forgive her. Not yet. Not when she parades around these people and tells them how they should be without a consideration of the place she left behind. I understand not knowing, but how childish can one be after a we have seen so far...?

[ After the people they've lost. ]

The Scions would have found us regardless. We have the Echo and the Blessing of Light.

[ She trusts him and his judgement to use her name. Even if he slipped once or twice and called her by name in front of others? She would not care. He has chosen her not only as his lover--but his wife. How could she berate him for something as simple as her name? ]

I've no need for more than what you've already given me. [ She smiles then. ] Although, I may relent if your gifts are kisses.

[ As she makes it quite known that she very much enjoys kissing him. Her arms wrap around his neck as she meets him in a proper kiss. She has to wonder what else he might have had planned for the rest of the night. ]

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FF PSL | ❝ for those we can yet save. ❞

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