[ Finally, he's able to put a label on the emotion he's been feeling: it's more than just guilt and regret, but it's shame as well. All things considered, he's as well as anyone can be, while she's the one who now faces difficulty.
As far as he can tell, he has no right to display anything but strength, when she's been knocked down so thoroughly, and yet those tendrils of darkness are beginning to wind themselves around him once more, and his attempts to drive them back are largely failing.
In comparison to everything that Lunafreya's been through, he knows he has no business feeling as lost as he does. If anyone deserves to find happiness, it's the woman lying beside him. He's already expressed similar sentiments, but his time has all but passed, so by rights, he really doesn't deserve much of anything. Of course, nearly everyone he knows would vehemently disagree, but despite the protests he's already heard along those lines, his opinion hasn't altered very much.
Even as she tilts her head to look at him, he feels his shoulders begin to shake with emotions that threaten to burst out, even though the only one who should be feeling overwhelmed here is her. He feels the sting of tears that he refuses to let fall forming at the corners of his eyes, but before he can do anything further, he realizes Lunafreya's lips are pressed against his in a kiss.
For just a moment, he freezes, wanting to just drown in the sensation of her lips on his, but that shame boils back up to the surface and he berates himself yet again. He shouldn't be letting her comfort him, when she's the one in a more desperate condition. Whatever demons he's wrestling with pale in comparison to the trial she's currently enmeshed in. But even as he lashes out at himself in judgment, he can't bring himself to pull away from her kiss.
He tells himself that it's selfish and wrong, and she might notice the shaking in his shoulders increasing as he wrestles with himself about what he wants and what he should do.
Pulling away and insisting that he take care of her is what should be done; but the part of him that he judges as wholly selfish just wants to remain here with their lips pressed together, pouring their emotions into each other in one simple gesture.
He lets another minute pass, and then another, but finally, he pulls back just a fraction. ]
Luna- [ I'm failing you again. He doesn't speak that thought aloud, but she might notice the look of shame in his eyes. ] I should be trying to reassure you, not the other way around.
[ He knows that stating that won't do any good, because it's actions that matter, not words, but he's finding himself frozen, unable to move anywhere at all. This will have to stop, if only he can summon the will to act. ]
no subject
As far as he can tell, he has no right to display anything but strength, when she's been knocked down so thoroughly, and yet those tendrils of darkness are beginning to wind themselves around him once more, and his attempts to drive them back are largely failing.
In comparison to everything that Lunafreya's been through, he knows he has no business feeling as lost as he does. If anyone deserves to find happiness, it's the woman lying beside him. He's already expressed similar sentiments, but his time has all but passed, so by rights, he really doesn't deserve much of anything. Of course, nearly everyone he knows would vehemently disagree, but despite the protests he's already heard along those lines, his opinion hasn't altered very much.
Even as she tilts her head to look at him, he feels his shoulders begin to shake with emotions that threaten to burst out, even though the only one who should be feeling overwhelmed here is her. He feels the sting of tears that he refuses to let fall forming at the corners of his eyes, but before he can do anything further, he realizes Lunafreya's lips are pressed against his in a kiss.
For just a moment, he freezes, wanting to just drown in the sensation of her lips on his, but that shame boils back up to the surface and he berates himself yet again. He shouldn't be letting her comfort him, when she's the one in a more desperate condition. Whatever demons he's wrestling with pale in comparison to the trial she's currently enmeshed in. But even as he lashes out at himself in judgment, he can't bring himself to pull away from her kiss.
He tells himself that it's selfish and wrong, and she might notice the shaking in his shoulders increasing as he wrestles with himself about what he wants and what he should do.
Pulling away and insisting that he take care of her is what should be done; but the part of him that he judges as wholly selfish just wants to remain here with their lips pressed together, pouring their emotions into each other in one simple gesture.
He lets another minute pass, and then another, but finally, he pulls back just a fraction. ]
Luna- [ I'm failing you again. He doesn't speak that thought aloud, but she might notice the look of shame in his eyes. ] I should be trying to reassure you, not the other way around.
[ He knows that stating that won't do any good, because it's actions that matter, not words, but he's finding himself frozen, unable to move anywhere at all. This will have to stop, if only he can summon the will to act. ]